Mass Effect: Shadow Phoenix
by AlexMalix
Summary: A gamer finds himself in the Mass Effect Universe shortly after the events of Mass Effect 2. Drafted into the war against the reapers, he must come to terms with himself and his place in the universe to help save all civilization.
1. Prologue

Prologue

They say your life flashes before your eyes when you die; I guess you start with regrets before you get to the good stuff. I could see every mistake I made that had led me to this place, to the end of everything I knew and loved. I knew that my friends would die because I believed in foolish things like destiny and fate. They couldn't be more than 10 yards away, probably trying to save me. I wanted to tell them to leave me and save themselves, but all I could do was scream incoherently

The pain alone was enough to make me beg for death. I couldn't see or hear, like my eyes and ears had ripped out, but I could still feel what was happening to me. I could feel a spike rip through my chest and heart, but somehow it was still beating. Acid burned in my veins and I could taste the poison that filled my stomach. I continued to breathe even as the needles tore my lungs. I wanted it all to end, I didn't want to feel this, or think about what was being done to me.

The pain intensified now, I could almost feel my bones crumble to shards to rip through my flesh. I deserved this, for falling for such an obvious trap. How could I believe that I was worthy of being a vessel of salvation against evil? I had seen the signs of death and decay but my pride would never have let me turn back. Now I paying the price for coming here, to this last relic of a race long ago wiped from existence. I only prayed that my blood would satisfy the machines; that my comrades would be spared if I suffered for them.

But somehow I knew it wasn't satisfied with me alone...

Instinctively, I knew something was wrong. I could almost sense they were in trouble, that this was not a ruin but a trap set up by our enemies. A trap I had set in motion. There was no great path laid out before me, it was only the bait to lure in the foolish. Now they would pay for my sins with their lives.

I thought of my commander, who trusted me with the lives of his crew. John Shepard, the spacer who became the Hero of Elysium, who saved the council from Saren and Sovereign. The man who survived death itself to destroy the Collector's base. The greatest threat to the Reapers, brought down by a weak man's ambitions. I knew that he would forgive me for this, that he'd never curse my name for damning him and the galaxy for my foolishness. The shame ate away at me more than this machine that was dissecting me ever could. I had helped kill the only hope of all sentient life, and I knew he would still try and save me.

But mostly, I thought of her...and I knew my greatest regret

You never realize what you have until it's gone, and it was especially true now. I knew she meant more to me than anything else. More than the mission, more than my own life. I would suffer this agony to save her, but I wanted to die because I was killing her too.

I wish I had known this sooner, that I could have had this epiphany before I was nothing more but a blob of burned out pain receptors. Would she have felt the same way as I did? Could she have loved me as much as I realized I loved her?

I could almost imagine what would have been if I had never come here, if I hadn't become the harbinger of the apocalypse. I could almost see us being together, loving one another. Comforted by the thought of being able to hold and comfort her. If I could just die to spare her life, I would gladly end it all.

The regrets seemed to fade as I thought of my friends, my family. Now I could see my life flash before my unseeing eyes. Not the life I left behind but one I had lived so briefly. That was when I knew that this was the end. Even before the pain left my body and my heart started to slow, I knew it was over. My mind and body were relieved and accepting, but my soul clung to this existence. It refused to leave the broken shell, even as the darkness enveloped it.

Death waited patiently...


	2. 1 Booze and Buckshot

Worst. Night. Ever.

"So how many times have you been through this game now, Alex?"

I couldn't help but grin as I mashed cucumber slices and ice with a pestle in a thick based glass. "Finished my 5th run, this time on insanity, why?"

Derek laughed as he watched me work one of my specialty drinks, Zombie Bile. "Oh well I figured you'd be bored of it by now and back to Zombie Apocalypse or Underwater Mutants. Won't you lose your title if you stop playing new games, oh great Game Master?"

I rolled my eyes as I added the dash of lemon and Worcester to the shaker and began mixing it all together "First off, it's a nickname, not a title. Also, I already beat those games. I like Mass Effect, so be nice or I'll cut you off, you lush" I poured the drink into the cucumber and ice and then set it in front of my best friend/customer

"I'd call your bluff, but you'd probably do it out of spite" Derek downed the half the drink and laughed again. From the flushed look on his face, I knew I was going to have to cut him off, anyways. Years of working for clubs and bars made it easy to tell when someone was at their limit. Not that I ever needed to use that skills with Derek, he was usually shit-faced whenever my shift was nearing its end.

We had met at my first bartending job, a quiet little dive bar called the Fox Trot. He was getting drinks thrown in his face as he tried to drunkenly hit on anything that moved on ladies night. I don't think he ever figured out I was giving free refills to any of the woman who threw theirs in his face, or maybe he didn't care. He ended up spending the last hours complaining about his luck and drink rum and cokes. Since then he's followed me to every new job, claiming it was loyalty. I figured he liked trying out my new drinks or just the way I made drinks in general.

Derek looked at me, noticing the usual "no more booze for you" look on my face, and decided to change topics "So how's things with Melody?"

"Same as they were last month, and if you can't remember that, you don't need any more drinks tonight. I'm also going to have to drive your drunken ass home"

If I wasn't pissed off at him, I would have fond it funny how he was trying to get back in my good graces, or at least get another drink out of me. "Dude, I thought you would be over that, she was super hot, man" He downed his drink, and I wondered if he forgot I wasn't going to make him another.

"Yeah, Derek, she was hot and insane. Do you think you could be over the crap she pulled on me?" I was glad to see him flinch at the thought. He was the only person who really knew the details of why I dumped my last serious girlfriend. He knew better than to spread it around, and I didn't like to have to remind him. Mostly because it meant I would have to relive the embarrassment.

I let the manager know I was leaving early. He never really cared when I slipped out since I usually made him more money than anyone else who worked for him. I may not have thought of bartending as a lifelong career, but I was damn good at it what I did. I helped my friend to his feet and carried him to my car. He slipped into the back seat and lay down, passing out soon after. I rolled my eyes and slipped into the driver's seat of my beat up Toyota. I turned the ignition and the engine screamed to life and Derek jumped and looked around before realizing where he was. I laughed as he lay down and fell back asleep

The ride home was quiet, and I enjoyed the silence. I could reflect on trips like these. I couldn't complain about my life. I made good money from tips and lived comfortably. Aside from some bad relationships and being a nanny to my slush of a friend, I had things well. But I felt empty, like my life had no meaning. Or maybe it was simple because I couldn't find the girl of my dreams. The one every book and movie promises.

If you went back ten years ago, you would have never thought I'd be known as a good bartender. The only time I ever have a drink is when I'm working on a new idea. Game Master pretty much summed me up. Nerd and Dork worked too. Glasses, a few extra pounds, and making drinks with video game references. I wasn't bad looking, but I wasn't exactly catnip to the ladies either. At least not the normal ones

I came out of my reverie when I heard a faint beep from my dashboard. Looking down I saw the Gasoline tank blinking, reminding me to refill. I stopped at the one of the 24 hour stations and parked in front of the nearest pump. A hastily made sign said the ATM was broken and to pay inside. Well at least I can get some snacks and maybe some coffee to sober up the drunk groaning in my back seat.

I figured Derek was going to be sick any minute now; I grabbed my backpack to take in with me. There wasn't much of value inside besides a spare set of clothing and a Mass Effect 2 guide, but I didn't feel like having vomit all over it anyways. Beside it would make it easier to hide a can of Pringles if I ended up crashing on his couch like I usual did when I had to take him home.

I made my way inside and to the register before I realized something was wrong. The clerk seemed overly anxious and two customers, a husband and wife I though, was huddled in a corner. Silent tears ran down the woman's face as she looked at the man and muttered something incoherently. I frowned and reached for my wallet when I heard the distinct sound of a shotgun being pumped. I felt the twin barrels dig into my back and I slowly raised my hands up. Then I heard the deep voice behind me "Good, now stay smart and don't move"

I felt his hands reach into my pocket and grab my wallet, and I considered my options. I used that moment to size up the person behind me. I was expecting a ski mask or maybe even stockings over the face. Instead I could see the emaciated and haggard face of a middle aged man as he rifled though the ones and 5's in my wallet. He wasn't really dirty or unshaven, that ruled out homeless. The sickly look about him made me think he was probably a drug addict looking to make enough cash for his next fix.

I doubted I had the reflexes or the muscle to overpower him without getting myself or anyone else killed. I didn't have more than 50 dollars in my wallet. And I really didn't want to take any buck shot at point blank range either. I decided it was best to do what he wanted and get him out of here quickly. Didn't he have enough cash to get him his next high? "Look, the longer you stay, the more likely you're going to get caught, and you have what you want..." I didn't get the rest out as he dug the shotgun deeper into my back

"Shut up! I'll leave when I want to!" The scent of booze assaulted me when he spoke. Great, not only was he a desperate drug addict, but he was drunk and I was pissing him off even more. I kept quiet now as hope things wouldn't get any worse.

Of course, usually when you started hoping things won't happen, they usually do.

Derek had woken up and stumbled through the front door and saw the situation. Before I could tell him not to do anything stupid, he was running towards the burglar and screaming like he was in a ninja movie. I felt the shotgun pull away from me and I turned around to see it take aim at my drunken friend.

My arm reacted before I realized what I was doing. I had grabbed the barrel and pushed it up toward the ceiling before it went off. There was there were several screams as the gun let off a blast that made my ears throb. The barrel had become incredibly hot and I pulled my burned fingers away on instinct. I was blinded by the shower of dust of whatever the ceiling was made from when I heard a grunt and a crashing sound that had to be my friend slamming into one of the aisles. Still blind from the debris, I thought he must have tackled the burglar when he had crashed. I was trying to wipe my eyes clean to help him when I felt the butt of the shotgun slam into my gut, knocking the wind out of me and forcing me to fall to the ground.

Gasping for air I could see now my friend had moved to avoid the shotgun and slammed into the snack case instead of his intended target. He didn't seem injured as I heard him groan and move feebly. The couple hadn't moved an inch and staring at me then turning to where the clerk had dived under the counter of his bullet proof register.

I looked up to see the barrel of a handgun pointed at my head. I wondered briefly where he had gotten this gun and why he hadn't just used that instead of the shotgun. The rage and pain in his face was apparent as the burglar as he cocked the hammer. I turned to look in his eyes and saw that there was something there that didn't fit. Was it fear? Maybe he was considering just making a run for it before he did something he would regret.

Then I looked back to the gun in time to see him pull the trigger. I shut my eyes and waited for the inevitable.


	3. 2: Entering the Twilight Zone

Entering the Twilight Zone

I expected to hear the gun go off, maybe even feel the bullet smash into my skull before it scrambled my brains. I wasn't expecting the sensation of falling but no rush or wind. I couldn't tell if my eyes were open or if I even had eyes. No sight, no sound, no touch, no smells. Where ever I had gone, there was nothing, nothing but my existence.

The moment I had realized this, the nothingness ended and my head spun as my senses were assaulted by everything. There was a rush of wind before I fell onto something cold and hard, and I heard my shoulder crack on contact. The air was much colder and had a stale filtered smell. There were screams and the sounds of movement, more than the 4 other people who had been in the store. My eyes couldn't seem to adjust, but metallic grays swam and spun in my vision. It didn't make sense; the convenience store had white ceilings. What's going on?

I closed my eyes and tried to get up, but crumbled with the sharp pain coming from my shoulder. I imagined it was broken, or that was where burglar had shot me and I was just waking up in the emergency room. It explained the change in what I saw and why it sounded like there were more people. I felt a hand press on my shoulder, causing me to gasp and wince from the pain. Then I heard someone yelling for a doctor in a familiar voice, but I couldn't place where I had heard it.

I tried opening my eyes again, and this time I was even more confused. The blurred vision was fading, but what I was seeing didn't make sense. I seemed to be in a warehouse, surrounded by large crates. The grey metallic ceiling looked to be made in large plates of metal. There was a small crowd surrounding me, dressed in the grey and white outfits. I was trying to understand what I was seeing when I turned my head to look at something else.

That only made things worse.

I thought it must have been a picture at first, a very large painting of metal object in a blanket of stars. It looked like part of a space station arm or a wing of a ship maybe. The shimmering I saw might have just been from the light hitting the texture. Then the blurred edges of my vision focused more on the massive reptile, who stared back at me and scaly fingers twitched on his massive gun.

My breathing quickened and I began to panic. I was hallucinating, I was sure of it. Krogans weren't real, and I hadn't seen through a massive rip in the wall to see part of a space ship. I must be in shock from the robbery and being shot. Nothing else made sense; there was no logical explanation for any of this. How could this be real?

But still the illusion didn't fade, and I kept seeing more than I wanted to. I looked at the face of the person in front of me, and realized why it sounded familiar. I knew I was insane now, that I had snapped as I stared into the face of this man. He couldn't be standing over me, looking as though he was the one who was crazy and seeing things. I stared into his blue eyes, trying to will him away. Trying to make the armor with "N7" emblazed on the chest go away.

Command John Shepard didn't exist, but I was staring into his face.

If I wasn't insane, then I was dead. This was some twisted version of heaven or, if the pain creeping into my shoulder was any indication, my own personal hell. It was too much to take in, my brain locked up and I couldn't seem to breathe. The hallucination seemed to know something was wrong and began shouting, but the sound was muffled and blackness swam into my vision. I blacked out as I saw someone push through the crowd and kneel down next to me.

I felt heaviness in my arms and legs as I started coming around. I didn't open my eyes, not ready to see the padded walls of my cell or, and my heart raced, some celestial being welcoming to my new existence. I focused on the sounds and sensations around me. The filtered air was still present but it was mixed with the medicinal smell of a hospital. I was laying on something much warmer and softer, and I guessed it was a bed. There was a faint beeping noise I recognized as heart monitor. I started to relax and slowly opened my eyes.

My eyes focused on the metallic grey ceiling in front of me and I could feel the panic setting back in. I was right in thinking this was a hospital room, but not any hospital that I've ever been in, Near my feet I saw what looking like a scanning device and to my left was a wall with "Server Room" written on it. I attempted to get up only to feel a something pinning me down. As I looked at myself I saw I was in a hospital gown and had restraints on my chest, arms and legs.

I jumped a little when I felt a hand lay gently on my forehead, but a soothing voice spoke that reminded me of a grandmother. It took some of my panic away, but did little to alleviate my fears, until I really listened. It was another voice I recognized. I turned my head to the sound of the voice, hoping I was wrong for once. I stared into the face of the doctor, her green eyes appraising my demeanor, maybe seeing if I was going to start freaking out and trying to break free. Her grey hair made her seem older than 50, but her face seemed smoother than it should be. She spoke again, confirming my insanity this time.

"Just relax, young man. My name is Doctor Chakwas. You had a nasty fall and broke a few bones, but you're safe aboard the Normandy." I looked down at my hands, her eyes following mine with a sigh. "I apologize for the restraints. Others felt it was...a necessary precaution. You'll be out of them and back in your own clothing soon enough." She gave me a warm smile and, even if I was crazy, I did start feeling better.

"That all depends on how he answers my questions, Carol"

We both turn to the door, staring toward the woman who had spoken. Normally a stunningly gorgeous woman with sexy Aussie accent wouldn't give me an anxiety attack. But this one kept reminding me that none of this was real but I wasn't coming out of the nightmare. I gulped as she slowly walked toward me. Chakwas gave me a sympathetic look and then stepped away, walking over to her desk but not letting myself or the woman out of her sight. It looked like she was afraid to leave me alone with her. Then again, I knew that Miranda was a cold hearted bitch, and I didn't blame her.

"Who are you and what are you doing on the Normandy?"

I stared at her, not sure how to answer, mostly because I didn't know. Even if I could, I didn't know if I should. Wasn't talking to people who didn't exist the first step in accepting I was crazy? She glared at me as I debated on what I should do

"Well, let me rephrase my questions, Alexander Jameson." She tossed something on my lap, my wallet and drivers license. "Why are you doing spying on this ship and crew?" She held up a book and my eyes widened in terror. I had forgotten about my backpack, which I had taken my Mass Effect guide with me. She tossed the book on top of me and folded her arms. "Who sent you? Start talking or I'll consider just turning you over to Cerberus Security rather than tossing you out the air lock."

I managed to find my voice at the thought of being tossed into space. "I'm not a spy." She rolled her eyes and looked away, clearly not believing me. "I don't know how I ended up here. I was in a gas station and about to eat a bullet when I showed up here. And I'm clearly insane talking to fictional characters." I struggled against the bonds, wondering when I'd start seeing the doctors who'd bring start bringing me a bunch of pills to make the voices go away.

I felt her hand grab my throat and pin me to the bed. I reconsidered the whole "hallucination" idea under the incredibly strong grip as she pulled out a pistol and put it to my head "You're going to still eat a bullet if you don't start telling the truth. You're not alliance and you're defiantly not a merc. Who do you work for?" I struggled for air and against my bonds, hearing Chakwas make some objection to my treatment. But it wasn't the doctor's voice that made Miranda let go and step away.

"That's Enough Miranda, stand down!"

I gasped for air and looked over at the voice of salvation, the first face I saw since this nightmare started. Commander Shepard walked across the room and stared down his XO. "He doesn't need a gun to his head, Miranda. EDI confirms that he hasn't stowed away on his ship, even if the security vids were altered to make him appear out of nowhere 15 feet in the air. None of this makes sense." He turned to me "He doesn't even seem to know what's happening."

Miranda stepped away and leaned on the wall. "If you say so, Shepard, but he's clearly unstable. He seems to think I don't exist"

I shut my eyes. "None of you exist; I'm either dead or insane. None of this is real!" I wanted to scream for the doctor, beg him to put me through shock therapy and fry me until I was sane again. It was either that or admits I was dead. I was hyperventilating and I felt like I was going to black out again when a pair of strong hands grabbed my shoulders and gave me a shake.

"Take it easy, you're not dead or insane. If you were dead, you wouldn't have broken your arm when you fell. And if this was all in your head, you would have accepted it already. Just relax and calm down"

I started taking in deep breaths as I thought over what Shepard had said. If I was in heaven I wouldn't felt the dull ache and soreness in my shoulder, or I could do allot better for paradise than the ripped up frigate in a video game. Hell would be more painful and I'm sure Miranda would have shot me a few times. As for my sanity, what he had said made sense; crazy people didn't think they were crazy. I was calming down and I looked around the room, starting to accept this was real.

I felt the straps on my body release and I sat up slowly, looking right out the window of the infirmary. A few of the crew members were in the mess hall, watching me with fascination and something else...fear? I wiped the sweat from my brow and realized there were tears in my eyes. Wiping them away, I looked at Shepard and spoke in a weak whisper. "Thanks."

"Anytime, now tell me about who you are and what happened to you. What was the last thing you remember? And maybe you can explain this book." He sat down and folded his arms, giving me a moment to collect my thoughts and compose myself

I explained me that I was a bartender, about the robbery and my near brush with death. I told them that I was on earth and the year. I told them everything they wanted to know, except explaining the hundreds of pages of paper Shepard had picked up and flipped through, stopping and frowning on certain pages. When I stopped talking he looked at me, waiting for the answer. I took a deep breath.

"The book is a guide....to a video game."

Miranda stormed over "This is crap, you expect us to believe that you appeared from nowhere and that we're...what? Characters for your entertainment? You can't believe this Commander."

Shepard was quiet, his eyes not leaving the book. "Dr Chakwas, what did your tests tell you" I frowned; I thought they had just patched up my shoulders.

Chakwas stood up and spoke in a shaky voice "After I set his bones and applied the medigel, I took a blood sample. He's in perfect health, but he lacks the genetic markers typical to any gene therapy. He has genetic defects that are generally repaired while still in the fetal stage. Everything I have found doesn't make sense unless he was born around the 21st century, as he is claiming to be."

Miranda glared at Chakwas "You can't be serious. You're saying that somehow he's from the past, but somehow access to everything we've done in the last 6 months, including a fight with a human reaper?"

A small flash of light appears in the corner of my left eye and a blue ball appeared from a small display and spoke in a digital but feminine voice. "There is no record of an Alexander Jameson in the time or location he has claimed to be from. However, Mr. Moreau has made a comment that he might be from a "bizzaro" world. While childish, I believe his idea is not far from the truth. Moments before Mr. Jameson landed in the cargo bay; there was a massive surge of energy that didn't match anything in my records."

Miranda seemed shocked only for a moment and then turned back to Shepard. "Even the damn AI has lost its mind." She looked at me in disbelief. "You expect us to believe you're from some other dimension? You've been watching too many old vids."

Shepard looked up. "I think EDI is right. This book has my face on the front, but there are problems with the pictures inside. They aren't real and poorly made. Think about it, an Omni-tool for children could make better pictures than this. And there is also one other thing." He handed the guide to Miranda on a certain page "This Shepard is a woman" He walked away, letting Miranda flip through the book to confirm what he said. EDI, is there any explanation as to how this happened?"

There was a pause before EDI spoke. "Nothing in the Normandy could have created the energy signature I detected. I don't have enough information, but it is possible that the energy originated in Jameson's dimension."

I stared blankly at the wall speaking softly. "Is there a way to get me back?"

Another pause that seemed to last forever. "I'm sorry Mr. Jameson, but there are currently no means of replicating the events that brought you on this ship"

I take it back, I was in hell. Most gamers fantasized about being in their favorite games, but I preferred to keep my life simple. No aliens trying to kill me, no worrying about being the only hope for the galaxy. I was happy to just serve drinks and only worry about the occasional drunk.

Shepard stood up. "This is a lot to take in, Alex. Take your time and collect yourself. I'll make sure your personal belongings are brought back to you. Miranda, round up the crew and have them meet me in the conference room. We need to tell them what we know"

Miranda nodded once and headed out the door. Shepard gave me one more look and then turned to follow her. I don't know what compelled me, but I looked up "Shepard?"

He turned and looked at me, concern and doubt on his face. I suppose he was turned upside down as I was over everything that had happened. I took a breath "Take my book with you, there's a picture you need to see, and maybe it will help the council believe you"

He gave me a nod before leaving. The look on his face said it all. He had already seen it. The picture of hundreds, maybe thousands of Reaper Ships on the borders of the Milky Way Galaxy, moving silently to destroy everything and everyone.


	4. 3: Decisions

Chapter 3: Decisions

I don't know how much time had passed while I stared at the floor, contemplating everything that was said. I was vaguely aware when one of the officers returned my backpack and clothing, or when I fumbled to button my shirt and jeans. I sat on the edge of the hospital bed, lost in my thoughts.

I was trapped here with no hope of returning to my world. Everyone I knew and everything I known was now completely erased. I had nothing to my name except 2 days worth of clothing. 175 years would make anything value, but I was fairly certain that anything on me would be a forgery in this world. My 4 years of college was probably the equivalent of elementary school education here, and even my bartending was pitiful in the comparison to the thousand of drinks I'd have to learn to make from all over the galaxy.

A small pinch in my forearm had brought me out of my moment of harsh reality. Chakwas pulled the needle out of my arm and smiled warmly. "I didn't think you would mind if I fixed your eyes and some other genetic defects. Unless you like flat feet, of course" She smiled slightly but she had a look of concern. Probably didn't know how I would react.

"Its fine, but I'm pretty sure my insurance doesn't cover genetic modification."

I heard her faintly chuckle as she checked my chart again. "Well it'll be our little secret, then. It will take a few weeks for your vision to correct, but the others will take a little longer. You'll be feeling a little dizziness and some imbalance for a couple months, but after that you should be fine." She looked at me. "How are you feeling?"

It was obvious she wasn't talking about my health. "It's a lot to take in." I looked up and smiled weakly "I suppose everyone will be feeling this way when they find out."

She nodded. "It reminds me of the old question they give philosophy students. What if our world is a dream and the dreamer were to suddenly wake? I suppose its true now." She shook her head. "Have you thought about what you will do?"

I rolled my eyes. "Well I'm soooo qualified I don't know where to start. Do they still need ditch diggers in the future?"

Chakwas laughed "It's good to see you have a sense of humor about it. Commander Shepard will make sure you get some help settling in, I'm sure. He has a few friends in the alliance he can call on" She sat down and looked at me, not like an unknown entity from an alternate reality, but as a human being. It was a small comfort.

"It's either I laugh or I cry, and tears aren't going to fix this. I suppose I'll have to head back to college, or hope that Martini's are still a stylish drink." I frowned a moment "By the way, what are the plans for the Normandy's crew now that the collector battle is over?"

Chakwas shrugged. "I really can't say. It's only been a few days since..." She shuddered, briefly reliving her moments inside the Collector Base "Well, I'm sure you know, but we've been trying to get the ship in order before heading back to the Citadel. I suppose you can ask th-"

EDI appeared and cut off Chakwas. "I'm sorry Doctor, but Commander Shepard requests that Mr. Jameson come to the meeting room as soon as possible." The small blue orb turned to me…I think. "I will make sure the elevator takes you to the right floor."

I slid shakily off the bed and looks at Chakwas. "Thanks for the shot. I better see what he wants." I was about to leave when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned to look at her, wondering if I wasn't cleared to leave yet when I felt something being pinned to my shirt. I frowned and looked down at a Cerberus lapel and then back at her.

"It's a universal translator. If you want I can get you a sub-dermal injection later. It will help with Grunt since he only speaks Krogan." I wondered why the game had him speaking English, but then realized that Shepard probably had the same kind of implant she was offering. She smiled at me, like I was her grandson; it was probably why she was an excellent doctor. Her bedside manner reminded me of family, and I almost hated to leave. I smiled and muttered thanks before rushing out the door.

I didn't need the flashing lights to lead me to the elevator, and I was certain EDI knew it. I glanced into the mess hall and saw all the faces staring back at me, and I realized it was probably for their benefit. It would probably freak me out if someone who hasn't been on this ship for less than a day knew exactly where everything is. I looked down at the grated floor as I hurried into the elevator. Leaning on the wall and breathing a sigh of relief as it slammed shut and I felt the jolt as it moved upward.

EDI's voice came on the speaker. "Mr. Jameson. Jeff would like to know why you do not have a goatee. He believes that because you are from a different plane of existence, you should have more facial hair."

I couldn't help but laugh, as corny as it was. "Call me Alex please, and tell Joker that I don't have a Goatee because I'm not evil. And that's for parallel universes, so if there is an Evil Bearded me, it's probably somewhere in this galaxy, petting a fluffy white cat."

There was a pause before EDI spoke. "Jeff says your theory is sound, but he will be keeping an eye on you."

I rolled my eyes as the doors opened to the CIC level. "Yeah, and remind him if beards are evil, he better be shaving soon." I walked out onto the deck and looked around, stunned by what I was seeing. Shepard was right about the pictures being poor fakes, because the view of the Galaxy Map alone was enough to overwhelm me. I looked everywhere as I followed the lights into the lab, where I passed by a hundred of different devices working tirelessly, and then went through the next door on the right. It was a brief walk before I was standing outside the conference room. I took a deep breath as the door opened and I stepped inside.

It seemed a lot smaller and more crowded than I expected. 12 faces stared back at me as nervously moved to the table, a projection the picture of the reaper army from my book now floating in the middle of it. I glanced at each of the faces; Thane, Samara, and Mordin were watching me with a great deal of curiosity. Miranda's cool stare didn't' surprise me so much, as she made it clear she didn't trust me earlier on. Legion and Tali's faces were unreadable, as the Quarian face was hidden behind her mask and the former was a sentient machine. Garrus, Zaeed and Jacob both looked disappointed, as though they were expecting something grander. Only Shepard seemed to show any acceptance of my presence as a person.

"I know you're having a hard time dealing with this, but we need answers about what's coming. If this is a game in your world than you should know how to beat the reapers." He spoke without pausing, the others looking uncomfortable at the thought of their world being nothing but entertainment. He didn't seemed upset by that anymore, and I admired him more for being strong enough to deal with it so quickly. If he can get back to business, than I could pull it together, too.

"I wish I could tell you Shepard, I really do. But the problem is that the ga...Um, the story has only reached the collector base" The others didn't flinch as much when I described it as a story. Maybe it felt better to think that there was a happily ever after coming "I couldn't even tell you how long until they arrive."

EDI spoke. "Using the image you have provided, and the approximate size and speed recorded from encounters with Sovereign, I have estimated that the Reapers will arrive in approximately one earth cycle."

Jack leaned on table. "Fuck, one year? We got plenty of time to convince the pussies on the council to get their ships ready."

Miranda shook her head "The council won't believe Shepard, and even if they did, the fleet took heavy damage from just one Reaper. There could be thousands of them coming."

I was surprised by the mechanical vocals when the Geth spoke next "Addendum: It is likely that approximately 5000 of the Old Machines will arrive. Nazara spoke of this on Virmire. _We are legion; our numbers will darken the sky of every world._"

I felt a little numb at the thought but Jacob spoke next. "With the losses we had during the battle on the Citadel, we'd need at least a million more ships to stand any chance. There's not enough time to build them."

Thane looked up from his hands "Quantity isn't as important as the quality. It would be better to prepare the ships we have for the upcoming battle than to try and to build more with an inexperienced crew."

Miranda spoke "They don't have the fire power to take on a hundred Reapers right now. Where are they going to get the weaponry and armor to handle this?"

"From us"

Everyone turned to face Shepard as he put his hands on the conference table "The Normandy is the most advanced ship in the galaxy, and we have field tested all the prototype technology on the field. We can give the schematics and data to the council so they can refit all their ships. That would give us a fighting chance."

"Shepard, you can't be serious. Sharing this technology with the other races will make it harder for humanity to stand above the others. The Illusive Man..."

"Miranda, this isn't just about humanity anymore! If we keep the technology than everyone dies. Asari, Turian, Humans, all of us. When the war is over, The Illusive Man will have plenty of time to push his agendas." He stood up straight and looked around the room "Does anyone object to this idea?"

For some reason my hand shot up and I started talking "Commander? Couldn't we offer our data to the council provided that all council races share any military technology they are developing? We could refit every ship with the best tech and..." I looked at Miranda "We might lose the advantage, but at least the playing field will be even when everything is over"

She appraised me, looking like she tasted something bitter in her mouth "He makes a valid point, Shepard. If you convince the council the threat is real, they would remove a lot of the sanctions on ship construction as well. It might not be enough to stop the all the Reapers, but we'll give them a hell of a fight." She looked at me a moment before returning her eyes to the display.

"I will talk to them, but if they won't budge, I will give them the data anyway. We need to return to the Citadel to repair and refit the ship after our stop to Omega."

I spoke again. "Why are we stopping in Omega?" I couldn't shake the feeling that I was going to be booted off the ship in the worse slums in Terminus Space. I guess it must as showed on my face.

"We were planning to stop there before you...arrived." He smirked, and I guess he thought it was funny that my "arrival" was appearing from nowhere and falling flat on my back. "Zaeed's contract was only for fighting the Collectors, and he wants to get back to his other contracts." I looked at Zaeed and frowned, I never liked his attitude or his ethics, but I would have thought he would stay on. "Also, Samara has asked for a leave to clean up Omega as only a Justicar can. When the ship is repaired, we'll be coming back for her. Some of the others will be taking leave when we arrive on the citadel. I'll speak to Anderson about your situation. I'm sure he can get you into a program to get you on your feet."

I looked at Shepard, staring into his eyes to see his intent. He wasn't trying to get rid of me; he was truly trying to help. He sympathized with my problems, and instead of tossing me to the wolves, he was offering me a hand up out of the dirt. I didn't need to read through his personal history to know he was a Paragon, through and through. In that instant, every worry about what I was going to do with my life was gone because I knew what I had to do with it

"Fuck that, Commander, I'm staying"


	5. 4: Making Friends

Making Friends

You could have heard a pin drop.

Miranda was the first person to talk and I wasn't surprised by her response "No, Shepard you cannot allow him to stay on the Normandy"

Garrus finally spoke, his voice reverberating in a quiet tone "Why not? He wants to fight, and we need all the help we can get"

Miranda didn't look away from the Commander "Garrus, he's not some merc we picked up. He has no skills what so ever and unless the Reapers have a weakness to cocktails, I'd say he's useless in a fight"

I took a step forward, acting braver than I felt "So train me. I'm not going to learn how to make drinks and pretend I don't know what's coming."

Mordin looked thoughtful "Knowledge of reapers equal to Shepard's. With genetic treatments and extensive training, could be combat ready when ship repairs are completed."

Miranda continued to struggle with her argument "That's arguable, Mordin. Only Cerberus has the technology to accelerate the gene therapy to weeks, not months. I'm in charge of authorizing the use of Cerberus funds and property, and I refuse to let him keep playing his game at the expense of this mission."

I felt the acid churn in my stomach as I listened to her. I tightened my fist to stop my arms from shaking and started taking deep breaths. "You believe I want to stay on board because I think this is still a game? You think I don't realize that my life is on the line, or that my mistakes could end up jeopardizing the lives of others? I'll get the training with or without the genetic engineering, and if you don't like it, then you can kiss my ass. But I'm not taking no for an answer" I folded my arms and stood up straight. I probably didn't look as determined as I felt.

Miranda glared at me, but the others around her didn't seem to share her feelings. Most didn't seem to care, but Garrus shared the same look of as Thane. It wasn't something easy to decipher, acceptance maybe, or maybe they were amused that an out of shape nobody wanted to train for an impossible fight. I turned my eyes to Shepard "Commander, this is your ship and your mission. Mordin is right; I know everything about the reapers that you do. I will work my ass off and train with anyone who can teach me what I need to know. If you don't think I am able to handle it, then I'll take any job you give me on this ship. But I'm here for the duration"

He looked at me, studying my face carefully before nodding slowly "Miranda, authorize the treatments." She looked ready to object, but he waved her off "He's made it clear he wants to fight, and the Normandy will have to be repaired and refitted. There isn't anything we can do during that time but prepare for what's coming." He looked around at the crew "Once we are on the Citadel, I'll authorized extended shore leave and provide shuttles to those who want return home. Any who choose to return will be welcomed back, but I won't think any less of anyone who chooses not to continue"

Miranda sighed "Jacob and I will have to return to Cerberus for a time. I have to smooth things over and convince him of your plan of action."

Jacob looked to Shepard "I'd rather stay and help, but Miranda is right. I may not like it, but we'll need Cerberus's help in the upcoming battle."

Thane looked at the Commander "I am uncertain whether I will return. There are many things I have to make right in this world, and I wish to spend some time with Kolyat before it is too late." He bowed politely and walked quietly from the room. As he passed me I could hear his labored breathing, or maybe that's how all Drell breathed.

Tali spoke next "I am staying Shepard. I can help get the ship in order. If Jameson is willing, I can give him lessons on using our technology when he's not training." She looked at me a moment and returned her gaze back to Shepard.

I looked at Tali "Thank you for offering; I'd love any help I can get." I glanced at the others "I won't be a burden to this crew, I promise"

In their faces I could see that no one else was planning to leave. They were all going to fight for Shepard, just as I was.

Shepard nodded "Crew dismissed, and get some rest; it's been a long day"

"I'm surprised at how comfortable you are with your Omni-tool, Alex. You still need a little more work with terminals, but otherwise you will have the basics down before we reach the Citadel"

I smiled at Tali "I have a good teacher. And it helps that I've always enjoyed technology. I used to upgrade my computer every year when my tax returns came in."

It had been a week since the meeting, and I was started to get into a good pattern. The next morning I was given a full exam and a genetic "Cocktail", as Chakwas joked. While I was told that I would have major physical improvements and a little more brainpower, I was informed of the list of side effects I'd have in the upcoming months. I had to check in every day to make sure I didn't have any signs organ failure; I spent the morning nauseous and the rest of the day battling aches and migraines.

It was worth it in the end, Miranda avoided me whenever possible. Shepard gave me Zaeed's accommodations in the cargo hold when he departed the ship with Samara on Omega. Mordin went with them to check up on the clinic, but promised to return to the Normandy when everything was ready.

After the initial shock and awkwardness, Tali became very accepting and we worked well together. I was eager to learn anything she could teach me and used that knowledge to help with clean up and repairs. We were only a day away from the docking on the Citadel and we were taking a break to get some lunch. Well I was getting lunch; Tali usually gave me a few lessons on interacting with the machines. I figured she ate in a clean room, since she was stuck in her environmental suit all the time.

I closed my eyes and leaned on the wall, a wave of nausea washing over me. Tali looked over at me, a touch of concern in your voice "You don't have to push yourself so hard, Alex. Take the rest of the day off and relax"

I shook my head "It comes and goes whenever I'm in the elevator." I looked at her as she stared at me with her arms. We'd spent enough time together that I could read her emotions in her glowing eyes and body language. "Okay, tell you what, we can talk about something other than work and lessons during lunch, and if I'm still not better, I'll call it a day"

Her stance relaxed as the door opened to the crew deck. "Fair enough, but I still think you need to relax a little."

I laughed and stepped out of the elevator "Yeah, probably, but I'm not going to. Once I'm on the citadel, Garrus is going to run me through basic training for the military while we're on leave. I won't have time to learn anything then."

As I turned the corner I slammed into something hard that knocked me off my feet. Or rather, something large and scaly charged into me. I looked up and saw Grunt towering over me, looking sinister and growling. I was glad I had the sub-dermal chip installed since I'm sure the translator would have been shattered from the impact.

"You wish to join Shepard's clan, but I think you are weak and unworthy. Prove me wrong by trying and destroy me" He raised his foot and aimed to crush me in to. I rolled away in time, feeling the ground shake from the impact. I was trying to scramble to my feet when Grunt growled and turned to Tali, who was calling for Shepard to come.

I took a step toward her and I took advantage of the distraction, throwing my weight into a right hook. I heard a crunch as my fist contacted his jaw and, from the throbbing pain, I had broken my wrist. He turned to me, not even phased by my punch and grinned. His massive hands grabbed my injured hand and caught the other as I tried desperately to fight him off. I was lifted off the ground, dangling from my arms and hearing more popping as his grip started to tighten. He leered at me and I felt his vile hot breath wash over me as he leaned in "Surrender and I might not let you suffer."

I saw red and growled in anger and pain. My more primal instinct to survive had kicked in as I struggle against his bonds. His grin made my blood boil and I tasted the adrenaline in my mouth. I did the only thing I could.

"Go fuck yourself!" I shouted and slammed my head into his the ridges of his skull. I heard another loud crack and then blacked out.

I wasn't surprised I woke up in the infirmary, this time Shepard was sitting next to my bed rather than Chakwas. He had a stern look on his face as I rubbed my bandaged skull, feeling it pulse and throb. I tried to smile as I sat up, waiting for whatever was coming "So, did I win the fight?"

Shepard revealed nothing. "No, but you are lucky this wasn't a real fight. You had a hairline fracture and almost gave yourself a concussion, along with breaking your hand. Chakwas patched you up, but you're off duty until we dock with the citadel"

I tried to shake the cobwebs out of my head "Wait, what do you mean it wasn't a real fight? Grunt attacked me when I got off the elevator."

The commander smiled now "Grunt was trying to see how you would react in a fight. He was only going to blindside you and scare you a little. Most people leave the mess hall and he wasn't expecting Tali to be with you."

I frowned and tried not to look like a total idiot "I thought he was going to turn on Tali."

Shepard nodded "I didn't' know what was going on until I got the call. When I arrived, Chakwas was working on you. He thought it was funny, but you impressed him by not backing down and fighting back, even if you lost"

I slipped off the bed and tried to get my balance "Well hurray for me, I proved I'm stupid." I looked up, finally catching a piece of information mentioned before "Docking?"

Shepard stood up "We're waiting for clearance, so be dressed and ready, you'll be coming with me to meet Anderson and talk to the council"


	6. 5 Stonewalled

Stonewalled

I leaned on the back of the wall of Counselor Anderson's office, half listening to the political bullshit. It was the same thing I've heard over and over.

"The reapers are coming, Counselors. You keep thinking everything is fine and we'll all be dead."

The Turian Counselor's projection sneered and waved his hand "You offer no proof, this is clearly a Cerberus trick."

The Salarian shook her head "I'm sorry Shepard but we can find no evidence of this invasion, and even with the testimony of your...um, witness"

I chuckled looking at Miranda as she shook her head. It was a first when we both agreed that it was probably best not to mention everything about me. The council thought I was a slave found on the remains of a derelict ship. We hoped that my slightly altered testimony would be enough, but the council was being as stubborn as ever. They were even refusing to accept the information on the Normandy's weapons and armor.

Anderson stepped up, he looked tired, and with the way the Council stonewalled anything to do with humans, I was surprised he wasn't going grey "Shepard has fought to save this council from Saren and eradicated the Collector threat. He deserves better than this, and so does every race we've sworn to protect" He looked at the projections, none of which seemed moved

The asari council woman shook her head "I'm sorry Anderson, but you are over ruled, and this matter is closed and this meeting will adjourn" She glanced at Shepard a moment before the projections vanish and the lights brightened. Maybe she was too afraid to believe the truth.

Miranda sighed "Well that was pointless. When the reapers come, it won't be much of a fight"

Anderson shook his head "Even with all the evidence in front of them, they still won't stand up and fight. I'm not as blind, however. I still have control over Alliance interests, and even if it means taking a hand out from Cerberus, I'll take the risk. Every alliance ship will be refitted, I promise" He turned to Shepard "But it won't be enough, and that's where you come in. You have made contacts throughout the galaxy, and all you have done as a Spectre will give you a lot of influence. You'll need that to convince the rest of the galaxy to fight."

Shepard folded his arms and looked at his former Captain warily "If I start recruiting an army, I'm going to look like Saren. Won't the council try and stop me?"

Anderson nodded "If you were still officially with the Alliance, we would have to seize the Normandy and keep you from leaving the Citadel, but you're a Spectre, and that will get your off world once your repairs are done. After that, well, it will take a while for the council to realize what you're doing; I can only hope you'll have enough friends by the time they declare you rogue"

I stepped up "It might be an advantage, Commander. We have a lot of options for controversial allies, like the Rachni and Geth. If we manage to recruit any of them, they'll bulk up their military forces."

Anderson's eyes widened and he smiled slightly "We can make them prepare for a fight, just not against the real threat." He turned to Shepard "I'm sorry but the alliance won't be able to help you. If we appear to have turned our back on you, we might be able to make everything offered in the meeting possible."

Shepard nodded "I understand, Counselor. This was never going to be easy, and it means that I will have to continue to work for Cerberus if supply lines are going to be cut"

Miranda spoke for the first time since arriving "The Illusive Man wants the reapers stopped, as angry as he is about losing the collector base, he won't deny us help." She smiled warmly at Shepard "I wouldn't recommend using the medical facilities; he's started to warm to my old idea of control chips"

Anderson frowned at the joke "I know you'll have to make some deals with the devil for this one, but there is something I must ask. I want an alliance officer on the Normandy, and I have a feeling you won't turn down her down"

From Anderson's smile, I knew who it was before the door opened, just as Shepard knew before he turned his eyes to meet hers. She walked in military step and saluted, but there was a hint of anxiousness in her movement, a desire to be close to the Commander

"Operations Chief Williams, reporting for duty, Skipper"

I was surprised we were being allowed to stay on the Normandy while repairs were being made, but I suspected that Anderson pulled some strings to accommodate us. It was quiet now that most of the crew had left. Gabby and Kenneth stayed to help with the engine upgrades and Mess Sergeant Gardner was going to keep any of the remaining crew fed. He made a farewell feast for those leaving for shore leave with the remaining good supplies he had on board. I sat at Shepard's table as we ate and he filled Ashley in on what had happened at the collector base and the events after. She kept looking at me as my name popped up towards the end.

"So you're from some dimension where this is all a game. Wow, I hope you were good at it, because otherwise we're all going to be in trouble" She stabbed some of the varren ravioli and kept eating without batting an eye.

"Wait. So you're not going out to freak out or anything? You're handling this much better than...well anyone on the ship really." Even after working hard to clear debris and trying to learn the ropes, some of the crew was terrified of me. The only ones who really tried not to treat me like a bug were the ones who were staying on the ship. I wondered how many would return to work with the freak as I took a bite of my own food, surprised at how some of the more alien cuisine tasted.

Ashley looked me seriously in the face "I don't deny that it's something that makes you wonder about your place in the universe, but nothing happens without a reason. Of all the people who could have ended up here, it was you. I have to think there's a bigger picture we're not seeing"

I rolled my eyes "Yeah, god thought the Normandy needed a bartender. No offense Ashley, but I don't buy into destiny and fate. A lot of wars were fought and innocent people killed because some arrogant man decided it was his destiny to do something grand. Pride comes before the fall, you know"

Williams put her fork harder than I think she meant to "I don't buy that. If you thought this was nothing but coincidence, why stay on this ship? Why not find a bar and continue life as it was before?" She stared into my eyes, almost like she was trying to dare me to lie

I shrugged, not really having a real answer. "Have you ever heard the story of Cuchulainn? It a wonderful Irish myth about a warrior who fought with such a frenzy he didn't know friend from foe." I took a bite of food, watching her confusion "He meets a tragic end, being hunted by the sons of men he killed. But at his end, when he was mortally wounded, he tied himself to a standing stone. He wanted to die on his feet.

She frowned 'What's that have to do with why your here"

I grinned "The Reapers are coming and mortally wounded or not, I want to face it standing up and fighting. That's why I'm here"

She nodded slowly, accepting my reason, but with wariness in her eyes that made me feel this argument wasn't over. I ate quietly as she returned to a conversation with the Commander, my thoughts repeating the question in my own head. Why was I here? I was no fighter, but I was trying to train myself to be one. I should be running and hiding, or trying to find a way back the sanity of my own world. I only looked up when I heard Shepard start talking about me.

"Garrus will be helping with Alex's basic training, but maybe you two can work together to get him ready for the field. Maybe show him some hand to hand combat as well as run him through more advanced training"

Ash looked me over; making me feel like I was a horse she wanted to buy. "He's going to need a lot of work, Shepard, but I'm up for a challenge. Has he picked a specialty?" Both of them turned to me, and I felt even more awkward.

"Oh, um, well I've been thinking about that. I'm kind of limited but if I had to choose, I was thinking....infiltrator."

Ash nodded slowly "That's going to take a lot of work to master, but if you are willing to work your ass off and really dedicate yourself, it will be possible."

I nodded slowly, a sense of foreboding in the air "When do we start"

She chuckled as she stabbed the last bite of food "Tomorrow. I'll be welcoming you to hell at 600 hours, so be ready or you'll be running in your pajamas, if you're lucky"


	7. 6: Making Friends

Getting to Know You

I stumbled onto the ship after the decontamination was complete, Ashley and Garrus laughing at my zombie like shuffle. I had expecting the training to be brutal since I was so out of shape, but I didn't expect a 9 hour long torture session. Even with full body armor, I was certain that when I made it to the showers I would find enough purple and black spots to make a leopard jealous.

I tried to pretend I couldn't hear the snickering coming from my sadistic trainers, and surprisingly a few of the crew members. Even though we had taken a taxi to head to the C-Sec Training Grounds early in the morning, most of the crew had shown up at some point to see me put through my paces. Maybe that was why Ash thought I needed more motivation for whatever exercise I was doing. I had to admit I was running faster and longer with a FENRIS Mech chasing me, painfully shocking me whenever it got close enough.

I slowly got into the elevator, hoping that the shower was empty but not really caring if it wasn't. I was surprised when Ash stopped Garrus, keeping him an arm's length away and giving him a meaningful look. I saw him nod briefly and say something about checking the guns before the door shut with a hiss. Ash hit the button for the engineering level and I frowned, wondering what more training she had in mind that she didn't want the Turian to see.

Ash leaned on the wall next to me "Sorry about being rough on you, but the battle field will be even more brutal. We don't have a lot of time, so you'll understand if I ask you not crawl into your bunk right after the shower." She glanced over at me, a look of apprehension on her voice

"Yeah, uh sure. I don't think I'll be helping them install the new bulkhead and armor in the cargo hold, but I need to get my daily check up with Chakwas, I suppose I'll check in with Tali and get some tech lessons. I need to start learning to use the new Infiltrator Programs anyway. Worse comes to worse, I can make drinks for off duty crew. I'll find something" I grinned a little, but the look on her face hadn't changed. "I'm guessing we're not going to the engine room just so you can keep me busy, are we"

She glanced over "I want to talk to you privately, and from what Shepard said about Zaeed, I'm pretty sure your room is bug free." She walked onto the deck and I followed behind her, now more nervous about what she wanted to ask me where no one could see or hear. I opened the door, gesturing for her to enter first.

She walked in and sat at my makeshift desk, which was nothing more than a few empty cargo boxes with a plate laid on top. I took a seat on my cot and looked at her. She was more nervous now; a lot of the confidence in her face was missing. She stood up and paced a little, before turning to me. "Okay, so you have a lot of knowledge about what's happened with the collectors, right. I mean this was a game in your world, right?" I nodded slowly, not sure what she was getting at.

She paced some more, looking more nervous and wringing her hands. "I wanted to ask you about some things, about what had happened that's not mentioned on the official record." She gave me a meaningful look, and I finally realized what she wanted

"Oh, wow. Um, well I don't have an exact answer for that one. I mean I can make a guess from reading the record and from what I have seen since I was personally on board." I stared in her eyes, elaborating when I saw the disbelief on board. "Look, maybe you haven't seen the book, but there are multiple choices that can be made. I wasn't sure that you and Shepard were an item until you brought it up."

She looked away, embarrassed by the conversation "Shit, I feel like I'm a teenage girl again. But I have to know, and you're the one person who would know for certain."

I chuckled "Well, my professional opinion on the matter is that you need to talk to him about it. You might not want to hear this but it is a possibility he was with someone else" She flinched, but I continued on "But I don't think he has. I've been curious about this myself, so I've been watching him interact with the other girls on the ship. They might be interested in him, but I've never seen the look he gave when he saw you again in Anderson's office." I stood up and put my hand on her shoulder, ignoring the pain and stiffness "He loves you, Ash. So go talk to him and let him know how you feel"

She stared at me a moment and then hugged me close, letting go when she saw me wincing. "Oh sorry, you should probably get to the showers and then see Chakwas." She turned to the door, a lighter step in her movement. She stopped at the entrance and smiled "Thanks, but don't think I'm going easy on you tomorrow. I think I'll see if C-Sec has any heavy mechs I can borrow."

I felt better after a hot shower, and after much chiding from the Doctor, I headed back to the engineering level to check in with Tali. I found her at her usual console, but I slowed as I heard an argument coming from the other side of the room. I looked at her questioning, wondering what they were arguing about. She looked about to answer my unspoken question when Kenneth spoke, his Scottish accent strained.

"Alex, would you go down to the sub-deck and do some calibrations. Gabby refuses to do there, and it will be a learning experience for you"

"Fuck you Kenneth, you won't go down there either. " Gabriella smacked his shoulder hard, judging how he was rubbing the sore spot. She looked at me "Jack isn't in the best of moods and she won't let anyone down there to do any repairs and upgrades." I nodded, understanding their concern. Jack was tortured by a rogue Cerberus agency. They wanted to create a powerful biotic, and they got their wish in the form of a self proclaimed All Powerful Bitch. She hated Cerberus, and with half the crew being employed by the terrorist group, she kept to down in the darkest part of the ship, feeling safe there.

Tali looked up from her terminal "I have already tried to go down there, but she has threatened to rip a hole in my suit if I got too close. We've told EDI to inform Shepard to talk to her once he returns from…from his trip" I heard the bitterness in her voice, remembering how she felt about him. I had a feeling that Ashley was having that talk.

I shook my head "We can't afford any delays. I'll take my chances and do the repairs that I'm able to. I can always leave if things get too crazy" I walked out of the room and down the stairs, hearing Tali shout about something about stupidity.

The sub-deck was dark, faintly lit by a few sparse lights and a faint red glow from the H Fuel cells. I could hear a faint dripping noise, making not if the leak. I paused on the last step, figuring that formality would be best. "Jack? It's Jameson, I'm coming down to check on things and make some repairs." I saw a flash of blue light and ducked in time to see a large piece of plating rocket passed my head. I stood up and took a few steps into the darkness.

I felt something slam into my jaw before I was pinned to the wall; a glint of steel told me a knife was at my throat. I didn't struggle, knowing that if she wanted me dead, I wouldn't have seen it coming. She glared at me, and I could see a lot of hate and fear in her eyes "Maybe you didn't get the message. Fuck off. This is my area and I'm not going to let you "fix" anything. So go back to your Cerberus pals and pass along the message" She pulled away and walked back into the darkness, like a predator returning to the depths of her lair.

I coughed and rubbed my throat. "I'm not going to touch anything of yours, Jack. I just want to make my repairs. I can hear a leak somewhere in here, I would think that it's annoying as hell to listen to" I took a careful step forward

A cold laugh rang out, but Jack didn't reappear "Fuck yeah it's annoying, but I'll deal with it. It's better than being spied on. It took me forever to find and destroy all the listening devices and cameras down here; I'm not going to let anyone put them back in."

I took another step into the darkness, stopping when I heard something moving. "I'm not installing anything; you can stand over my shoulder and watch me work if you want. You don't like anything, I'll stop and leave, deal?"

There was a long pause; I counted the drips in my head as I waited. Jack came out of the darkness, wearing her black leather top. She must have changed clothes; or rather put something else on beside the gun-straps across her chest. She leaned on the wall and made a gesture like she was inviting me into her home. I walked forward and turned on my Omni-tool, doing some scans and making some repairs to the pipes. "Thank you, Jack."

I heard her flop onto her cot and stretch out "Whatever, the dripping sound is making me want to kill things. That and I like how you piss of the Cerberus Cheerleader"

I chuckled as I punched in a few buttons and waved my left hand over the dripping pipe. The sound stopped immediately, and I was amazed at how this holographic computer could manipulate the real world. I glanced at Jack as I took some more readings "It's not hard to piss her off. Can't blame her though" I heard an angry hiss behind me "Oh come on, I'm something that represents the one thing she can't stand; not being in control or being manipulated. How did you feel when you found out where I was from?"

She shrugged "It was a trip, but I didn't really give a fuck. I've never been control of my life, and you aren't acting like your some fucking god." She paused a moment "I was watching you training today."

I smirked as I finished uploading the data to Tali's terminal "Yeah, I thought I heard laughing when I was getting shocked in my ass." I moved to deeper into the darkness, getting as much done before I had to leave.

"It was really funny to watch" I heard her move again and I turned to look at her. She was sitting up and watching me "You took a beating today, but you didn't bitch about it. You kept getting up and asking for more. For someone who's all soft and doughy, you've got some potential" She smirked "Shame you don't got any biotic abilities, we could tear up the galaxy after this Reaper shit is done"

I smirked, finishing up my repairs "Probably, but I think after the reapers are gone, I'm going to open a bar, but you're welcome to be the bouncer. Free drinks and you can toss any troublemakers on their ass, not that anyone would want to mess with you."

She laughed "Yeah, fuck that, but I'll take the free drinks and fighting." I shut off my Omni-tool and nodded to her, heading back up when I felt a hand grab me "Hey, if repairs need to be made down here, I want you to do it. You can bring the Quarian bitch too, but only if you can't do it by yourself. I'm not happy about Shepard having to keep working for the Illusive Man, but I'll play nice, so long as I don't get fucked with."

I nodded "Sure, I'll let the others know. And if we need to do anything extensive, you can hide out in the starboard cargo room. It is bug free and you can lock it from the inside for privacy."

She rolled her eyes "Yeah, I'm going to hang out in your bed and wait for you to come in and fuck me silly. Dream on. If you need me out of here I'll go to the mess hall. Everyone leaves when I show up there anyways"

I smirked and snapped my fingers as if disappointed "Well the offer stands, and I'm trying to get them to add a liquor cabinet in there." I smirked and headed back up the stairs, hearing her say "Fuck off" and mumbling a something that sounded like a thank you. I couldn't help but smile a little as I entered the engine room to inform the others of Jack's terms.

_Thanks to everyone for the positive reviews and suggestions. If you notice, I finally got a word processor with grammar and spell check, so there considerably less mistakes. Thanks again for reading and I will hopefully have the next chapter up soon._


	8. 7: Homecoming

Homecoming

It's amazing how much a person can change in a few weeks time. The training became easier as my body adjusted and the genetic upgrades began to settle in, but then Ashley would always make it more intense. Once I had learned to fire and maintain the standard weapons for an Infiltrator, I was thrown into combat scenarios using mechs and non lethal rounds. FENRIS and LOKI mechs at first, but I once I started learning to hack their systems with my Omni-Tool, I was moved up to YMIR Mechs. I had to learn to rely heavily on my Tactical Cloak and my sniper gun before I could whittle down his armor and shields.

In the last week it had become clear that I could handle any synthetic enemy, and I was graduated to training with the rest of the team. Despite being on good terms with Jack and Grunt, I hated when it was their turn to spar with me. Both tended to make being cloaked useless as they could wreck everything in sight with biotics and sheer firepower, plus were both good for a couple of punches in the gut if I happened to get the better of them. Ash and Garrus played fairer but it was harder to take them down. They also used sniper rifles and seemed to enjoy headshots.

But I enjoyed when we all trained together, even if I ended up black and blue at the end. We ran countless scenarios, teams, free for all, even some survival missions. No matter the war game we played, we treated it as seriously as we would a life or death situation. In the end, however, we all walked back to the ship, not rivals but a real team.

Soon Shepard was joining in, finally free from discussions with The Illusive Man, the results of which were that we were under Cerberus employ to rally all allies and stop the reapers in exchange that all research and data would be given to Cerberus to be sent to the Citadel Council anonymously. Miranda would be returning as the Ship's XO, much to Jack and my own displeasure, and she would ensure that both sides kept their ends of the bargain.

It was the last week of repairs being made when the crew started to return. Everyone of them returned, showing their devotion to Shepard and wanting to protect their loved ones from the Reaper Invasion. I admired their bravery, and envied the nobility behind their loyalty.

Jacob was the first of the missing squad to return; he saluted Shepard and then embraced him like an old friend. He explained that we were to pick Miranda up at a Cerberus base that would be downloaded to EDI when we were off the Citadel.

"She wouldn't tell me why she wasn't able to come with me, only that it was important that I let her work. I suppose we'll know what it is when we get there Commander"

He looked at me and folded his arms; I was still covered in dirt from the latest training exercises. He stared into my face and then laughed "Looks like you'll be ready for some action, Rookie." He reached out and grabbed my hand, and I followed his motions in a classic grasp-slide-bump handshake. I grinned as he picked up his duffle bag and headed back to the armory.

I was pleasantly surprised to I was given one of the new personal quarters that were added to the ship during renovation. Squad members had rooms tailored to their taste or needs. I couldn't help but laugh as I walked in and found my own personal "home" bar. I was going to have to make a trip to the wards to stock it soon enough. Tali's was effectively a clean room with a decontamination airlock so that she could safely remove her suit. I was teasing her about her needing a shower for the next few days. Jack and Grunt preferred to stay on the engineering deck, so most of the other rooms remained empty.

The biggest shock happened on the day before the Normandy would be given its final inspection before being cleared for duty , Tali and I had been discussing some last minute upgrades to the drive core engines and the effect on the stealth systems, when I saw a masked individual walking away from the elevator. He looked like he was having trouble with his bags, and we both got up and walked over to help him. As I got closer, I saw the green insect like skin of his hands and blinked, looking at the breather mask. "Thane?"

He nodded, and I hurried to help him carry his bags, hearing him breath a labored thanks. Tali helped him to Life Support as I lugged his personal things behind them. I set them gingerly down, figuring that it was his personal arsenal of weapons. He didn't remove the mask, and I noticed that it had more air filters than a normal model. "Thane, what happened?"

I heard him chuckle "Just buying some more time, the mask filters most of the moisture in the air. I purchased it for this mission a few days ago, and in a week it will reverse some of the damage caused by the Kepral Syndrome. It is only a temporary solution, but it will give me enough time to help Shepard with this last mission"

I looked at him sadly, but he put his hand on my shoulder and shook his head "Do not mourn this shell. I will make amends for my sins and pass on to a better place. But in the mean time, I have heard you are training in the ways of Stealth and Assassination."

"Oh no, that's infiltrator training. It's similar but I don't... well I have...well damn I guess it's the same" I felt the room get warmer as I floundered for a decent excuse to use

Thane let go of my shoulder and relaxed in his desk chair. "Be at ease, young one. I know you are not learning these methods to kill as I have. I thought you might want some assistance with the finer points of sneaking around. I can teach you to be invisible without relying on your cloak, if you wish"

I looked into the glowing red eye pieces, and even hidden under a mask I could see his seeking gaze. "Sure, anything you can teach me would be great" I didn't like the idea of being trained to kill like he had, but I couldn't say no either. Not just the importance of the mission, but because I knew he was dying, and wanting a student to pass his knowledge onto.

He nodded "We can start in a few days, once I have settled in and can breathe easier" He turned his chair to his desk and began typing a letter. Tali and I looked at one another and left without another word

"So what are you going to spend your money on, Alex?"

Tali was joining me in the Zakera Wards the next day. I was surprised when I received and extranet letter notifying me that my first check had been deposited into a bank account I didn't know I had. The amount was ridiculously large. I tracked down Shepard and asked him about it. He seemed to find it amusing I was concerned about having credits of my own.

"_I had Miranda set up the account for you; I thought you wouldn't mind if she had. Cerberus is funding this operation, and since you are a part of the team, you are going to be paid for your services. You'll get about the same every month, with bonuses for the entire crew whenever we come across anything useful like tech." He smirked "If you looking to make a little more each month, I would recommend you take up some extra duties. Scanning planets for minerals is a little boring, but there's potential for more. Though I think you'll probably have a hard time finding anything in the Terminus system. I sent Cerberus the information from the Planetary Database in your guide. I imagine that is the reason for the large amount of money."_

I shook my head from the memories of this morning and looked around "I have no clue, Tali. Probably get myself some armor upgrades and some books to read. You got any ideas?"

Tali glanced around the ward, taking in the sights and sounds around her. She always enjoyed the crowds; I thought it reminded her of life on the flotilla. It was supposed to be incredibly crowded, but with a closeness that reminded you of family. But from what I knew about her last meeting, I wondered if she still felt that way. I cleared my throat and waved at her mask "Hello, you alright in there?"

"Hmm, oh sorry, I'm just thinking about tomorrow. We'll be leaving this place for a long time; some of us might not be coming back at all…" My heart sank hearing the sadness in her voice. We had become good friend during all the training and repairs. I hated seeing her upset, which seemed to happen whenever Shepard and Ashley were around. I was determined not to let her be unhappy today.

I grabbed her hand "Come on, we're not going to act like we are going to lose to the Reapers. We're going to do some shopping , and I think we'll start with the Zakera Café."

Tali followed me into the shop "Shepard already purchased the new food supplies for the ship, so why start here?"

I grinned and looked over the kiosk options, scanning down until I found what I was looking for. "Well because they sell alcohol, a million popular cocktails book, and one for making drinks for Quarians and Turians. Hmmm, probably should stick to wines for the aliens until I know what I'm doing " I grinned at her as I finished my purchases and requested they be delivered to the Normandy. "Then we're going to Saronis Applications to see if they have any Quarian Suit upgrades. "

She looked at me a moment "I-I don't need anything really." I led her down the stairs "You don't need to spend your credits on me." I looked at her, taking in the numerous patches in her suit from the countless punctures and tears it had received while fighting against Saren and the Collectors. She pulled her hand away from mine and I stopped and looked at her.

"Tali, I'm your friend, and I know that it bothers you when you see Shepard with Ashley. I know that I can't make you completely forget that kind of heartache, but I'm going to try and at least make you laugh. Besides, Kassa Fabrications just released the Colossus XX for Quarians. Even you have to admit you'll need a new suit for the upcoming battle."

She stared at the ground, her voice soft "It seems so stupid, wanting to be with him even though… He deserves to be with someone like Ashley." She turned away from me and looked like she was ready to cry, if she hadn't already. I carefully pulled her to me and give her a comforting hug.

"Shepard would be lucky to be with someone like you, but you can't live in the past Tali." I heard her sniffle and mutter about rejections "Yeah, I know he turned you down, but he turned down a lot of woman on the ship. He loves Williams, and she loves him. I know it hurts to watch them and wonder what might have been, but you'll find someone who will care for you like you deserve."

She pulled away, sounding a little stronger "Thank you Alex. I think your wrong about me finding someone like Shepard, but I shouldn't let myself be bitter about his happiness"

I smiled warmly and took her hand "Come on, let's pretend for one day that we aren't fighting a war and get you some new armor."


	9. 8: Head Shrinking

Head Shrinking

"Thank you for meeting with me on such short notice. May I call you Alex?"

I was setting up in the mess hall, pulling out over a dozen different mixes and drinks and washing the new shot glass I had ordered just for this night when I got a message that Yeomen Kelly Chambers wanted to see me. Not wanting to fall behind, she agreed to meet with me while I set up

"Sure, what did you need, Miss Chambers?"

She smiled warmly, reminding me of the same polite manner of the ship's doctor "Just Kelly, please. I actually wanted to talk with you a little. Your part of the crew now and..."

"And as an unknown and untested factor, you want to give me an evaluation?"

She blushed "Not formally, but you've been training hard for what's coming, and getting along with the crew. I just wanted to know how you were dealing with it all"

I laughed "I'm not about to snap and kill the crew. I know the risks of the mission; I could be killed by the reapers or just by some merc who gets off a lucky shot. But I'd rather do something more with my life than just serve drinks if I'm going to be stuck here"

She tilted her head, looking curious and thoughtful. "If you don't like what you did before, why are you bartending tonight?"

I paused a moment "I didn't hate my job, I made good money and I was good at what I did. I worked at a dive bar to cover college expenses when I turned 21, and in 4 years I'd been working at some of the best night clubs in town." I smiled a little as I bragged "It's just that now there is something better for me to do with my life, something I believe in more than being just a good bartender."

She nodded "What were you studying in college"

I went back to cleaning my glasses and running over some of newer recipes from my book "Oh, I had a degree in criminal justice with a minor in psychology." I looked up, seeing the same curious face I usually saw whenever someone learned of my tutelage "I wanted to be a detective, like a modern Sherlock Holmes."

She nodded "What stopped you?"

I fidgeted a little, saying nothing and looking at everything but Kelly. She waited patiently, like a cat waiting for the mouse to come out of his hole. "I didn't like the corruption I was seeing in the police force, I didn't want to be like them or be put in a situation where I had to ignore their crimes or be the department snitch" I continued to avoid her gaze as she waited me out again. "But before that, my bitch of an ex girlfriend talked me out of it"

"Wow, you seem a little upset. Is it because she talked you out of the job?"

I laughed bitterly "No. She was my high school sweet heart and we had moved in together when I started college. We were talking about getting married when I graduated"

"I don't see how that is so bad"

I looked Kelly dead in the eye, wanting to get the worst of it out of the way "She cheated on me, a lot. Not just one guy, but pretty much half the campus. I was that guy everyone feels bad for because he's dating the town bicycle" She had a confused look "the town bike; everyone gets a ride?" I saw the shock roll on her face and smirked "Yeah, well that relationship ended badly. By then I was seeing a lot of the corruption in the police force, and my being a detective was tainted by all of it."

She nodded slowly "Have you been out with other women since then?"

I smirked "Well that was about 3 years ago, so yes, but they weren't much better. There was the one girl who wanted me to have sex with another man while she watched. Oh and there was the one who was into the Slave Master thing, except she thought I was too soft to be a the dominate one because wouldn't beat her" I put on a mocking thoughtful face as she listened in complete shock "Oh and the last one would email me 'erotic' stories, which would make the avid blood and gore movie fan puke. "

"Um, wow. I didn't know you were into those kinds of things"

I looked at her "I'm not. I just keep dating the crazy ones. Probably doesn't help that I met them all while I was on the job." I looked down at my hands and realized I was gripping the counter so hard my arms were shaking. I let go and took a few deep breaths. "I just attract the screwed up ones"

She was quiet for a while, not waiting for anything; just quiet. I started working on some party snacks when she finally spoke, a touch of sadness in her voice "You sound like someone who's given up on love"

I stopped what I was doing and closed my eyes. "I'm not looking for love anymore. Every time I've opened my heart up to someone, they've tried to corrupt or destroy it. I'm tainted by my romances, and the kind of girl I want deserves better. "

"Give me one of those Polonium Bullets!"

I grinned as poured another shot of what had been one of my game related drinks I'd found in a magazine. I had renamed it as well as a good portion of my own recipes for the party tonight. I poured the grenadine syrup into the glass and gave it a careful stir to make a red cyclone shape in the drink, handing the shot to Gabriella, who smiled and walked away from the line of thirsty crewmembers. The party was in full swing and everyone seemed to be having fun.

Well, mostly everyone, since Jack had decided to stay hidden in her dark room under the Engineering core. I had tried to convince her to come up before I opened the bar, but after a long string of cuss words and threatening to violate me with whatever she had around, I decided to leave a bottle of fine whiskey so she could at least enjoy her own party. I felt bad for her, but I wasn't going to risk the crew just to get her to cheer up.

Grunt didn't seem to be leaving his room either, but he had made an effort. I poured him a very large glass of Ryncol and walked to one of the new tables in darkest corner of the mess hall, drinking with his back to the wall. His blue eyes were studying everyone and everything, touching no food and ignoring everyone. After 30 minutes he grabbed the bottle I'd kept for him and he headed to the elevator, probably to drink in his own room.

Save for those few, everyone was here, enjoying drinks and bringing their own favorite dishes to share with the crew. I couldn't figure out who had added the idea of a potluck to my invitational message I'd posted, but I suspected it was EDI, who had taken over the Ship's inter-communication systems and was playing music just loud enough to be heard if you weren't in conversation. Joker was laughing and yelling requests at the table he shared with Chakwas. Joker would look over at me from time to time and order drinks usually acting as though I was a French waiter and seemed to order anything that would make Chakwas blush.

"Hey Alex, have you learned how to make an Asari Orgasm?"

I laughed "no but if you find a cute one, I'm willing to learn" I felt a little more silly about having to pull up the drink's recipe from my new book program, but I mixed his drink and refilled Chakwas glass of Salarian ale. She was taking it easy, and from watching Joker drink I could tell why. I told him it was his last one, seeing how being unable to walk straight and having brittle bones might not be too funny when he landed in the infirmary.

"Naw, I can handle alcohol better cause of the Vrolik's. I have hollow legs!" He laughed but didn't ask me for anything stronger than a Roy Rogers. Chakwas gave me a small smile and mouthed "Thanks" when Joker wasn't looking. I gave her a nod before returning to other thirsty crew members.

Garrus was in good spirits despite the lack of variety for Turian drinks and food. He was sitting at the head of one of the cafeteria tables with an audience of crew members, including Ken and Gabby. He had them wrapped around his fingers as he told them stories about his time in C-Sec and when he was Archangel on Omega. He had a charisma that drew them in, and even I would get caught up in the stories as they wafted over to me. It was usually after a second shout for a drink that I went back to doing my job.

Shepard was in the background of it all, sitting at the table that had occupied Grunt earlier in the evening. At first I thought he wanted some privacy for himself, just wanting to watch the crew relax and enjoy themselves before the mission made them forget. I couldn't see if he was enjoying himself or not, and out of guilt I grabbed one of the last and, judging how quickly they were disappearing, most popular bottles of beer and walked over to his table. "You don't have to get stupid sir, but you should relax for one night"

"You better have another one of those, Kid"

My body stiffened out of reaction to the voice of Ashley Williams, who was sitting, no, Snuggling in the darkest corner. She grabbed the beer and winked at me "Wow, with how you react to my voice, I should have told you to drop and give me twenty" I laughed and returned quickly with another beer, apologizing for interrupting them and headed to the bar.

I looked over at Tali as I went back to mixing drinks. She was sitting with her back to the dark corner, her eyes looking sullen. Tonight wasn't nearly as fun for her as I had planned. Her new suit was being decontaminated, but it wouldn't be ready until tomorrow. She hadn't touched any food but was ordering a few of the drinks I'd marked with black tape for her and Garrus to safely drink. While I was interested to learn that she had a tube that allowed her to drink without fear of contamination, the same tube only allowed for meals with the consistency of baby food. So the alcohol was hitting her empty stomach, and after the first few I'd cut her off. She looked ready to cry again.

"Okay, Last Round, ladies and gentleman, we all have a big day tomorrow. You can keep the party going, but the bar is closed." There was a collective groan and surge for the last drinks I'd serve tonight. "Hey, once the mission is over, I'll host another party that will make this one look like a quiet night with a Hanar" There was a cheer from the rowdier of the group and I slipped over to Tali, offering her a hand. She staggered a little as I helped her up and helped her to the elevators

"I'm fine Alex; I don't need you protecting me from…"

I cut her off as I hit the controls to take us to the crew quarters "I'm not protecting you from Shepard and Ashley. I haven't been a good host or a good friend tonight, and I haven't been able to keep my promise to cheer you up" I smiled as the doors opened and I helped her along to her room "So I thought we can just hang out and watch some classic vids. You don't have to talk about anything, just relax"

She looked at me a moment "T-thank you, I'd like that, just not tonight" She gave me a gently hug, which I returned "I just really want to go to bed, but I'll take you up on it another night."

I smiled "We can do it once a week if you like. EDI tracked down a few movies that existed in my world as well as this one. Plus I'd love to see some of your favorites"

"Quarian's don't have the luxury of free time on the Floatilla." She stepped away, her body language reminding me of Kelly's before the party "Why are you being so nice to me today?"

I frowned at her figuring she thought I pitied her as the poor alien girl with a crush on the uninterested man. "Tali, you are smart, caring, and pure of heart. You don't deserve to have your heart broken like it's been. But more than that, I consider you my friend; my best friend even. If I can make you smile, then I'll drag myself over hot coals or Ashley if you prefer." I winked as she started to laugh softly

"Thank you, it means a lot to have someone like you around" She opened the antechamber to her clean room "Tomorrow then, after duties. Just…no more alcohol, please?"

I saw the laughter in her eyes, and promised her a fun but sober evening.


	10. 9: Ghosts

Ghosts

"Normandy you are clear for launch"

I could felt the pulse of the drive core as I focused on the calculations on my Omni-tool. I thought I would feel the ship moving as we left the Citadel docking area, but the gravity fields made it feel like we were on solid ground. I couldn't even feel us accelerate toward the Mass Relay. I was helping with the ship diagnostics, making sure all the upgrades and renovations were not having any malfunctions. Tali worked quietly, but seemed to be in better spirits when Shepard asked for a status report.

"The ship is running better than expected, stealth systems and Mass Core are fully operational, Commander"

"Good, we'll be going through the Horse Head Relay. We'll be picking up Miranda from the Lazarus Research facility"

Joker's voice crackled through the intercom "Yay, the icy bitch is back" Ken, Gabby and I snickered during the reprimand Shepard was giving Joker. "Only kidding commander"

I glanced at Tali "How's your head" She didn't seem sick, but she seemed to be looking at me strangely. I looked back at her with concern. It was hard to tell she was wearing her new environmental suit; she had custom painted it to look like her original. There was only a subtle sleekness to it, and there were no more exposed air hoses that she used to hide under her shawl. I grinned "You're not going to puke in your new helmet are you?"

The only movement that I could see was her rolling eyes "I didn't drink that much, Alex. " I could swear she was grinning "But I hope I didn't make much too much of a fool of myself"

I laughed "No more than Ken did" I grinned at Gabby "Nice right hook, by the way"

Ken smirked "She had lint on her shirt, I swear. It was worth the black eye though. "Gabby smirked and shook her head.

I went back to my calibrations "So still up for tonight, Tali?" I could feel a pair of eyes on my back "It's a friendly movie night, Panda Bear." Gabby laughed at my nickname for her partner.

Tali didn't answer at first; she seemed immersed in her work. When she looked up at me, her eyes seemed to glow a little brighter "Sure, and thank you again, for being a good friend."

I smiled as I finished my calculations "Anytime Tali. I think we can skip some of the human classics like Short Circuit and Terminator. I don't think Sentient machines is a Quarian's favorite genre" She gave me a hard look and I chuckled "I think I know a good one, if you don't mind sitting down for three hours of wizards and Halflings." She was about to answer when Shepard's voice broke over the intercom

"Alex, Tali, gear up and report to the briefing room immediately. There's been an incident"

"The station is under attack, security team en route. Someone get the security drones online! Shepard you better hurry, they are all over the place"

Miranda's voice cracked over the Cerberus subspace channel. I nervously was rechecking my equipment for the 2nd time as Shepard went over the briefing

"We received this message shortly after exiting the relay jump. We're 20 minutes from the station." He pulled up blueprints, showing various red and yellow dots. "Most of the Cerberus team is dead. The ones that are left are trapped in one of the labs. From what we can tell, they tried to hold out by using FENRIS and LOKI Mechs, only whoever has taken over the station has reprogrammed them to finish their dirty work. Our primary objective is to take out the mechs and protect the survivors. Secondary objective is to find out who attacked the station and why. Any questions"

I cleared my throat "All due respect sir, why am I on this mission? I can understand the need for AI hackers, but Legion has more experience. "I looked at him seriously "I'm not turning down the mission, just voicing my opinion."

Shepard nodded "Understood, Jameson." He pulled up some video surveillance from EDI's scan of the ships logs, showing that the mechs were all fighting, then stopped and turned around on the security, mowing them down. "Whatever they used was powerful enough to hack the all the mechs at once. I don't know what effect it will have on Legion, so he's grounded for this mission. Besides, you need some real experience in the field, and there are no signs of heavy mechs. Just remember your training and you'll be fine."

I tried to swallow the large lump in my throat as I pulled the recon hood over my head. My new armor was painted black with blood red camouflage patterns. Capacitor Chestplate, N7 Shoulder Guards, Stabilizing Gauntlets, and Stimulator Conduits; everything was meant to make every shot from my M-97 Viper rifle count.

"Shepard, we have begun docking procedures"

"Thanks EDI" He looked at both Tali and myself, and then headed for the door. We followed him to the airlock, hearing the door his and lock behind up. I pulled the metallic rectangle from my left shoulder, feeling the stock and barrel expand as I brought my now extender rifle into a ready position. Shepard was fiddling with his Revenant Machine gun and Tali was toting an Eviscerator Shotgun. I smirked at her a moment "Leave some for me."

Tali pumped the gun, her demeanor was more confident as she mentally prepared herself for what was coming. "Better be fast with your shots then"

I felt a faint _whoosh _as the external hatch opened and we moved into the docking are, guns at the ready. I could hear the faint screams in the distance and the sound of rhythmic marching. I assessed the situation when I saw one of the FENRIS mechs come around the corner. Raising my Rifle I lined up my shot quickly and fired 3 rounds into the dog like machines optic centers. All three of us dived for cover behind the nearby crates just as five of the humanoid LOKI mechs came around the corner hallway and opened fire.

"Tali use your drone to distract them, Alex, hack their systems and keep any more dogs away from us!" Shepard shouted and then popped out from his cover, moving faster than seemed possible and firing wildly. The mechs began concentrating on Shepard as he moved to another cover closer to the door, only to be fired on as Tali launched Tuchika, a combat drone that appeared to be an orange holographic cousin to EDI. It began shocking the rear guard, causing the enemy to divide its force. I added to the chaos by punching in codes and overriding the Friend/Foe protocols and soon one of their own was firing on them. I quickly stood up and squeezed the trigger, the head of the security droid exploding. I ducked back down, adrenaline pumping through me as I heard body fall down and it's self destruct sequence cause a small boom that knocked the others down. The hail of gun fire from Sheppard and Tali stopped when the last of the resistance stopped functioning.

I ejected the half used heat sink and replaced it with one I found in the remains, while Shepard moved further down the hall, slowly and silently. He stopped as we moved to the far corner, and gestured that 5 more mechs and two more of the guard dog models were down the hall. He made the signal for me to move to the cover first, and I flipped on my Tactical Cloak. I moved silently into position, taking aim at and started firing at the shield stripping robotic canines. I took the first down and emptied my clip into the second. I managed to dive down as my shields were breached but not my armor, reloading and letting the others take some of the fire while my shield regenerated. I waited patiently, peering around the corner to see that some of the mech were trying to hack through the door. The rest of the scientist had to be inside. I cloaked and moved to another position closer, pulling out my heavy pistol and then firing at the distracted mechs. I ducked back down as they began targeting me, and then saw a trail of smoke sail from where Shepard was bunkered down.

I covered my ears just as the grenade exploding, a leg and half a torso landing on the other side of my barricade. I stood up right and looked at the blackened floor where there used to be machines. Tali moved forward and finished bypassing the door locks. I grinned at Sheppard, even though it couldn't be expressed with my hood on "Nice shooting." He merely patted the launcher and placed it on his back, drawing his heavy pistol and opening the door.

As we entered the room, one of the scientists was bandaging one of the others. They were all bloody and Tali and I worked to help her. Shepard looked around and then to the security officer with his arm in a makeshift sling. "Where's Miss Lawson? Why isn't she helping you fight the mechs"

The man gritted his teeth from the pain but spoke "She was fighting with us when we lost control of the mechs. Their leader, he threw her with a biotic punch and his men swarmed her. We managed to get one of their radios" He gestured to the dead Batarian hidden in the corner. "They're rendezvousing with their ship on the other docking station. They've got Miranda with them."

I felt my feet turn and begin sprinting down the hallway, and I could hear shouts of protest coming from Shepard and Tali, but I didn't care. Miranda was a cold hearted, but I wasn't going to let anyone kidnap her, especially if this was related to the reapers. I pushed myself hard like Ash had taught me and it seemed like I had run the entire route in half the time it should of. I slid behind the cargo as the remaining mechs opened fire, trying to prevent me from stopping them. I heard the hissing of the cargo doors opening. I didn't have a choice now.

I cloaked and sighted one of the mercs, a Turian with a bruised, bond and unconscious body of Miranda slung over his shoulder. I barely registered the blood and brain matter coating the walls as the now headless corpse fell, releasing Miranda. I shot at the mechs firing on me and then at a Batarian that was trying to retrieve his hostage. I ducked down long enough to reload and fire, keeping their attention on me and away from my comrade. I could hear two sets of feet coming down the hall, and the mercs heard them too. I noticed the leader as he started shouting to forget the bitch and leave. I took aim…

He turned to face me and I hesitated on the trigger, a mistake that the Sentinel didn't hesitate to exploit. He started to glow bright blue and then I felt something slam into me like I was hit by a car. I was airborne and crashed into the wall ten feet behind me. I slide down, and reached for my pistol, but when I got the first shot at the airlock off, it had already shut and I heard the rumble of a ship taking off. I slowly got to my feet as I saw Shepard and Tali approaching. I clutched my side, feeling a broken rib or three from the biotic throw. Shepard didn't seem to care

"That was incredibly reckless, Jameson. You could have gotten yourself or Miranda killed" He looked to Tali, who was bandaging up Miranda and calling the Normandy's emergency medical team. "You said you would follow my orders, Alex. I expect better next time."

I nodded still shaken up by what I saw "Yes sir. They were almost to their ship; I took out the one carrying Miranda and then kept them from getting close enough to retrieve her. When they heard you coming, they started to retreat, but not before their boss decided I needed a more intimate relationship with the wall."

"We'll get you patched up on the ship" He looked at my face, seeing the color drained from my face that had nothing to do with the throbbing in my side "What's wrong, you look like you've seen a ghost"

I stood up straight, even as the pain pulsed hard and faster from the effort. He had to know "Sir, I think I did, because I hesitated when I had a clear shot. It can't be possible but" I looked into Shepard's eyes, as serious as I could possibly be "The leader, it was Kaiden Alenko, back from the dead"


	11. 10 Aftermath

"Kaidan died on Virmire, Jameson. You have to be mistaken"

The debriefing was moved to the infirmary, where my armor laid littered around the bed I was sitting on. I winced as Chakwas was bandaging up my ribcage. I had been lucky; three broken ribs and one that was threatening to puncture my lungs. Miranda hadn't regained consciousness yet, but her injuries were minor. The group had stopped when she wasn't able to fight back, it seemed.

I looked around the half moon of teammates that surrounded me. There was doubt on the faces of the crew of the first Normandy; Shepard, Ashley, Tali, Garrus, Even Joker and Chakwas. I didn't blame them for thinking I was making this up. Kaidan Alenko had been a member of the crew during the first fight with Saren and the Reapers. A powerful Sentinel who had sacrificed himself on Virmire to ensure that Saren's Krogan cloning facility was destroyed. From my studying of the prior mission logs, The First Lieutenant had volunteered to stay with the makeshift bomb, keeping the Geth from getting close enough to disarm it.

"I know what I saw, Ash. It was him, but he was different." He I closed my eyes, shuddering as I dove back into the recent memories of the fight "He was scarred, like Sheppard was after the Lazarus project, but they were deeper and more cracks. And the glow behind him was a dark blue, darker than you would see in a back light. Like a midnight sky. It looked like he had some thick wires on his arms and legs, like Saren's Reaper upgrades"

Shepard frowned, the worry lining his face "EDI, was any of the technology or research for the Lazarus Project used outside Cerberus"

The blue construct of the AI appeared in the display near the door "I've scanned all Cerberus records, Shepard. There is no indication that the Illusive Man or any other operative has made use of the data that restored your body. However, during the assault on the labs, several unauthorized downloads were detected. It is possible that someone had stolen and made use of that data."

Garrus walked toward Shepard and put a hand on his shoulder "If Alenko had survived Virmire; he would have made contact with us, or rejoined the alliance. I believe Alex, but I think it might be a trap by the reapers." He looked at me a moment and I felt more confident under his gaze

"Sir, I agree with Garrus. With all that scarring, who's to say they didn't give the man I saw Kaidan's likeness? He had a lot of the upgrades Saren, so I'm guessing the Reapers wanted Miranda for some reason. What better way to stop Shepard from interfering than giving him a foe that looks like a former ally?"

Shepard nodded "This will have to remain a mystery for now. Dismissed" The crew shuffled through the door, Ash and the Commander walking out hand in hand, a haunted look on both of their faces. I sighed and slowly slipped on the bed, thinking I was alone. I gingerly pulled my shirt back on, gathering my armor and turning to see Tali, standing by the door. I smirked as I walked over "Glad I didn't change into my pants. Did you need something?"

She looked a little embarrassed at my joke and stared at the ground. "Actually, I wanted to know if you still wanted to, you know, hang out." She looked up at me "I mean with all that's happened and your injuries, I would understand if you didn't feel up for company. It's just I don't want to be a burden and I really could use the company. "She started babbling about other things she could do tonight when I started to laugh, wincing a little from the stiffness in my sides.

"Tali, I always keep my promises. You bring the popcorn and I'll bring the Quarian nutrition paste and we'll find something fun to watch."

We had skipped the melodrama of middle earth and instead were watching a paranormal comedy about a giant marshmallow ghost attacking an earth city. I had busied myself with the pop corn to avoid watching her eat with her suits feed tube. I was far from disgusted by it, but I felt like it was inappropriate to stare. It was like I was at home again for 2 hours, laughing and joking about the graphics and silly plot, but enjoying it all the same. Afterwards she started teaching me Skyllian 5 Poker, and I was glad I wasn't playing for money.

She had beaten me for the third round in a row when she looked up at me "How are you doing?"

I shuffled the deck and started to deal the new set "Well aside from sucking at this game, my ribs aren't bothering me nearly as much." I pulled up my set and tried to keep my face neutral and tossing in some chips.

"No, not your injuries; I mean how are you feeling after everything that happened" She met and raised my bet, her eyes never leaving my face. Of course she was a pro at this; she didn't need a poker face with that mask. "This was your first real battle. You don't seem shaken up about….killing that Turian"

I blinked and thought about it as I raised her bet "Oh…I didn't really think about that part." I looked away from her stare "I didn't have time to think about it then and me shaken up about the Alenko thing to really let it set in." I looked at my cards "I should feel upset or guilty, but I don't. I didn't have a choice if I wanted to save Miranda." I folded as she raised the stakes again "Is that bad?"

She shook her head "I wanted to be sick after my first fight. It was in the Wards on the Citadel, when Fist set me up. I had never killed anything but Geth before then. "She paused, her silver eyes seemed to shimmer with sadness "But you have the right mentality, you don't enjoy killing, but you won't let it stop you from protecting those you love"

I smirked "Or in this case Miranda." She chuckled and put the cards away. "Any word on how she's doing?"

Tali shrugged and stood up "She's awake and in her office, last I heard." I stood up and followed her to the door "Thank you for tonight, but I better get to bed. Same time next week?"

I laughed and walked the short distance to her room with her "If I don't get knocked into another wall again, sure. Maybe sooner if work allows it"

She paused at her door "Alex, can I ask you something?" I nodded and she hesitated a moment "You don't think it's Kaidan? The man you saw"

I shook my head "In this world I think anything is possible, but it's more likely to be a trick." I looked into her face, trying to see to past her eyes and into her expression. "Were you and Alenko close?"

She blinked a moment "Oh, not really, I spent most of my time in the engine room and he was always on duty in the crew quarters. It's just…so strange to think he might be alive and working for the enemy. Like…" She trailed off, but I finished her sentence.

"It's like when you found out Shepard was working for Cerberus. All the more reason to believe this man is a fake. I can't say I knew the lieutenant, but I would like to believe he would never serve the reapers." I gave her a friendly hug "Don't worry about it, we'll catch this guy and find out the truth."

She returned the embrace "Thank you, I'll see you in the engine room tomorrow, so get some sleep too." She shut the airlock and I walked back to my room to mull over the day.

It was about mid-afternoon, or what would be afternoon if we were on a planet that had a sun, when I was received a message to report to Miranda's office. I walked in, unsurprised to see her reading reports on her desk. I stood at the front of the desk, saying nothing and hoping this would only take up a little of my time. She ignored my presence for a few minutes before she looked up "You're not going to gloat?"

I stared at her "Gloat about what?"

She set down her files and stared at me "I gave you a lot of grief for wanting to join this crew. I didn't think you could handle the training, that you would slow down the mission or even jeopardize the entire galaxy. Not only was I wrong, but you turn around and save my ass. I deserve to have a little salt rubbed in my wounds"

I wasn't sure what was more surprising, Miranda apologizing or Miranda treating me like an equal. "Miss Lawson, I'm a part of this crew, and I won't turn my back on a teammate, even if she's been a bitch."

She laughed "I deserve that much, and probably a lot more." She looked me over "I almost don't recognize you. Even with the genetic treatments, Williams and Garrus must have worked you to the bone."

I felt the heat rising in my cheeks and rubbed the back of my head "Yeah, training was tough, but I haven't changed"

She stood up and walked over to me "You haven't looked in the mirror in a long time have you? You've lost probably 50 pounds and put on some muscle." She smirked and running a hand along my stomach. "You're intelligent and compassionate; most women dream of a man like you" She grinned and then poked me in the chest "Just not this one."

I couldn't help but laugh with her as she took her seat again "Well darn, and I was so hoping for the point where you make me wear leather and lick your boots."

She shook her head, but grinned "You're such an ass, Jameson, but I didn't call you up here just to apologize." She gestured to the chair in front of her desk, and I sat down "Shepard is upset you went off on your own, but he can't argue with the results. He wants you to do more training exercises as punishment" She leaned back in her chair, looking thoughtful "However, We need you to do some information gathering. You and I were the only ones who got a good look at the mercs who attacked the station. We need to know who they are and why they are working for the Reapers."

I nodded "I can try and pull up some information on the extranet that fits their description, but EDI can probably do it better than I can"

"Not that kind of information gathering. While Shepard is rounding up the rest of the team that's on Omega, you will be leading your own team to talk Aria. Congratulations, you've been promoted."

Somehow I wasn't all that happy.


	12. 11: The Mission

Omega, it really is a pisshole.

The smell of filth and dust wafts through the air, and your skin seems to be caked in the stations' rotting presence. The people either stare at you with fear and distrust, or grin lustfully over something you have. I tried to ignore the nausea in my stomach and took slow breaths through my mouth to keep from throwing up.

I looked at the decaying excuse for a city, Thane, and Jack standing on either side of me. Ashley behind me, tagging along as an extra gun and to make sure I stayed out of trouble. They had been the only ones willing to join me on this mission. Miranda politely refused, and knowing her disgust for this place, I could understand now. Jacob and Tali had joined Shepard's mission of tracking down Samara, who was tearing up the crime organizations as only a Justicar could, and Mordin, who was in his clinic tending to the wounded from the latest violent surge in the Vorcha population. Grunt didn't acknowledge me as a leader and refused to be, as he put it, "The Errand Boy Squad". Garrus couldn't be seen in the streets, his persona as the vigilante "Archangel" would incite more trouble than we need. As for Legion, I didn't want to risk causing a panic by bringing a Geth on the station or have him hacked by the group we were looking for.

I made my way up to the doors of the largest building in the sector, the club called the Afterlife. I made it to the door when the Batarian stopped me, sneering at me with disgust only his species could have for humans. The four eyed aliens looked at humans as animals, and treated any they had enslaved as cattle. I glared back at him, knowing I couldn't play the nice guy with his kind

"Sorry human, but you're gonna have to wait in line like everyone else."

"I need to talk to Aria" I made to move around him, forcing him to side step back in my way.

"You and half of Omega, but if she's not expecting you, you aren't getting in"

I shrugged, deciding to bluff him "Fine, I was ordered to speak to Aria on Commander Shepard's behalf. I'll just have to tear up half the city looking for the information I need, or let the people I'm looking for do it for me" I turned my back to him as if to leave "Hey Jack, doesn't the Eclipse Sisters have a headquarters around here? If they don't want to fight, maybe they'd be willing to talk in exchange for a favor, since the Queen of Omega doesn't need any help from the Normandy." I took the first step down the stairs.

"W-wait a minute!" He turned on his communication relay and started talking quickly. He then opened the door "Aria is willing to see you"

I patted him on the shoulder "Smart move" I walked through the door and into the long hallway, the holographic flames making the room a mix of red and yellow light.

"That was just fucking smooth Alex; I swear he was shitting himself when you talked about going to the Eclipse"

I turned to Jack and grinned, no longer feeling embarrassed to look at her when she wore the gun holster she used as a top. "Helps to know that Aria isn't happy with them and would be even more pissed at the doorman for giving them a powerful ally."

"Not bad kid, but let's hope Aria isn't in the mood to take up any favors today." Ash moved forward to stand next to me, as the door to the club opened. The booming rhythm of the music making my insides quiver and the smell of smoke mixed with the already filthy air. Williams and I walked toward the other side of the large room, the club goers giving us a wide berth when they saw us coming. I didn't bother to ask the body guard for entry as I made my way up the stairs.

The Asari Matriarch was lounging on her couch, waiting for us with an amused grin. I stopped at the top of the steps and looked around. An ancient Krogan sat in a chair on her right, and I guessed it was Patriarch, the warrior who had been in charge of Omega before he was crushed under Aria's boot when she took control. Her body guards stood in front of her, scanners ready and on hand resting on their pistols. I took a step forward and raised my hands, letting them scan me as Aria watched

"So Shepard sent you, did he? I hope he's doing something really important to be avoiding me"

I gave a respectful nod, trying to be respectful but get to the point "He's sent me to get some information. We ran into some mercenaries who shot at him. He'd like to return the favor" I walked forward, pulling out a file and handing it to her. Inside was some of the salvaged surveillance video from the Cerberus facility. She looked it over carefully, her face a mask to any emotions she might have.

"Yeah, I know who they are; the people call them Oblivion. They come here to recruit from time to time, but no one signs up anymore." She looked up at me with a slight grin, as if she respected the fear the group inspired "Once you sign up, no one hears from you again."

I nodded slowly "You must want them gone, where is their base located?"

She laughed, the cruel sound cutting through the music and making a nearby dancer falter. "They don't bother me, why should I care if they take a few pathetic wretches from here?" She sat up and walked over to me "However, for the right price, I could be persuaded to divulge where they set up on Omega."

I didn't dare look at the others, not wanting to make her think I was unable to negotiate with her "Shepard is taking the Justicar to the Normandy, which alone will take some of the pressure off you to deal with her. And I'm sure the Vorcha uprising will be squashed when the Commander goes to pick up Mordin. Sound good?"

She stared at me and folded her arms "But he would have done that anyways. Why should I trade what I know for that?"

I smirked "Because Shepard will appreciate your assistance and be very open to helping you in the future. I cannot promise anything more than that"

Patriarch spoke, the growl in his voice was urging "Everything the Normandy's crew does can be done in your name, and counting a man like Shepard as an ally will make your enemies think twice." He seemed more confident than he had been, but then again having Shepard take down some assassins in his name would give him some self esteem.

Aria returned to her seat, thoughtful "Alright, we'll do it the Krogan's way. I don't know where their main base of operations is, but they used an abandoned laboratory in the industrial district as a recruitment hub and storage facility. They have heavy mechs and hired out Eclipse Techs to keep out looters when they aren't using it. You'll probably find what you're looking for there" She gave a dismissive wave and I took the hint. With a polite thank you, I took the lead and walked back down through the levels and onto the market street.

I casually looked through the kiosks. "So how should we do this Ashley?" I made some armor purchases and turned to the group.

Williams cleared her throat "We should inform the Commander and let him handle the base"

Jack rolled her eyes "Yeah, whatever. Just because you fuck Shepard's brains out doesn't mean the rest of us have to hold his hand to cross the street" She looked at me, the lust for battle in her eyes "Let's tear that place apart, Alex. I need to kill something"

Ash turned to her "First off, it's none of your business what Shepard and I do. Second, Jameson doesn't have the experience to lead a recon mission with so much on the line" She turned to me "No offense"

Jack scowled "Fuck you, your boyfriend didn't put you in charge, so it's Alex decision" She grinned at me, her eyes like a child's on Christmas day. "We don't have time to wait for Shepard; we can handle anything they throw at us."

I paced a little, letting Ash and Jack bicker with one another for a minute before I stepped between them "That's enough, you both have good points." I turned to Thane "What's your take on this?"

He was quiet, his hand resting on his chin, looking like he was thinking it over "We cannot risk Oblivion returning and removing any useful evidence. Jack's idea has merit"

Jack turned to Ashley "Hear that bitch? We're doing things my way" Ash looked ready to kill as I stepped between them again

"Let's compromise." I touched a small button hidden in my hood "EDI? This is Alex, we've found out the group is called Oblivion, there's a ruined lab they use on Omega, I'm sending the coordinates to the Normandy" I touched a few buttons on my Omni-tool "We're going to check it out and see if we can find anything. Let Shepard know when he returns to the ship"

"Very well Jameson. Jeff requests that you bring him a t-shirt"

I chuckled and cut off communication, looking at Ash "If you don't want to come, we'll take you back to the Normandy." She stood up straight and shook her head "Thank you, we're going to need as much fire power we can get with those YMIR Aria mentioned."

She grinned "Good thing I'm heavy weapon certified, should I bring the missile launcher or the grenade launcher"

I grinned evilly "Bring Cain, we're going to bring down the house"

We landed two blocks away from the lab, sneaking through back alleys to avoid attention. From the taxi we spotted two mechs on the outside and about twenty Eclipse Sisters, both Salarian techs and Asari commandos. I crouched down just out of sight, looking at Thane and Jack. They nodded, weapons drawn and ready for me to give the signal

"Bring the rain Ash, we've got your back" From the roof I could hear the sound of the M-920 Cain powering up. The sound built up and with an unsatisfying _Thwump_, the missile sailed over through the air towards the small army. I covered my ears and eyes, but I still heard and seen the massive explosion and blinding light. When it started to fade I pulled my heavy pistol and leapt over the crates I had crouched behind, opening fire on the surviving mercs before the miniature mushroom cloud had begun to fade. Thane was sniping the techs while Jack used her Shockwave, so there were none alive by the time I made it to the lab. The others caught up with me just as I hacked the door and slipped inside.

It was surprisingly empty for a storage center. I found the nearest terminal and began bypassing the security and started downloading everything to the Normandy. "Ash, look around and see if there is any heat sinks that will get Cain operational again. That boom was sure to draw some attention. Jack, watch the front and let me know when back up arrives. Thane, you and me will be looking around to see if we can find out why they wanted this lab." I let EDI have control of the systems and pulled out my Sniper Rifle and moved deeper in the lab.

I didn't know exactly what I was looking at, but from the massive tanks filled with dead fetuses I could guess it wasn't good. I swallowed the bile in my throat as I looked around. Thane muttered a prayer as I moved to another terminal and downloaded the data. "It looks like they were trying to clone something, but the files are all marked as failures. What the hell happened here?"

Jack cut in "Fuck, we got trouble, it looks like every Eclipse on Omega just landed, and they brought those Oblivion fuckers!"

I turned and ran back to the front "EDI send the transport to this location, we need evac now!" I slid down besides Jack by a blown out window, Thane taking a position by the smashed open door. I turned to the far window to the Soldier, staring at the war zone outside "Ash, tell me we have got enough juice for another blast." I hit my cloak and took aim, firing at the closest merc.

"I got enough for one shot, but…." She paused "It's him, Alex. He's in the back, I can't believe it."

I let loose a few more shots and used my scope to see what she was talking about. In the rear, launching biotics at the building and yelling undecipherable orders was the Oblivion Leader, the fake Kaidan. I took a shot, damaging his tech armor and distracting him a moment "Ash, it's not Kaidan. Take the shot!"

EDI broke through my intercom "The transport will be arriving in one minute, but we cannot get near the landing zone during a firefight." I swore loudly and waited for Ash to answer

"I'm sorry, but I can't do it"

"Fuck, just kill him!" She let off a massive shockwave, knocking down a large section of the advancing army and towards the Sentinel in the back. It looked like it was about to connect, but he dived out of the way. I looked around the battle zone, trying to find something that would distract them. I could see the transport moving toward us, and I had only one option

"Use Cain, shoot above the group, we need a flash bang!" Ash stared at me a moment and nodded, aiming for the high vaulted ceiling of the station and charged the nuke launcher as the rest of us fired into the crowd to give her some cover.

It was a long shot but it worked. The missile launched and we took cover as the blinding flash and ear shattering explosion rocked the station, not injuring the remaining mercs but incapacitating them as the transport landed. We scrambled on board and continued to shoot until the doors sealed and we sped away to the Normandy.


	13. 12 Revelations

The Kodiak transport landed in the cargo hold, the trips was short and silent. We felt the ship jostle and power down as it landed in the cargo hold, the doors opening up to reveal the rest of the tea. Shepard must have just returned, his face looking stern as he came off the ship. Ashley didn't wait for him to speak, rushing into his arms and whispering in his ear. I walked over to Mordin and Samara, welcoming them back to the ship. Thane remained standing just outside the small ship, his hands clasped together whenever he was in deep thought, or when he prayed for his sins. Only Jack seemed unphased by the recent events, walking off the ship and to the elevators.

"That was fun, but I'm going to fucking bed"

Shepard turned to me, his face softened by what Ash had said, but still he looked upset. "That was a risky operation. You're lucky to be alive" I opened my mouth to protest, but he held up his hand "It's alright, you did the right thing. If you had waited for me to man the mission, we might have encountered both the Suns and this Oblivion group, and there's a good chance we might have lost any chance at the data. You took control of the situation and kept everyone alive, that's all that matters"

I nodded slowly, not feeling as heroic as he was making this mission sound. I couldn't dwell on what happened right now "He was there Shepard, we need to go back. He won't be at the laboratory but he can't have left Omega yet"

EDI chimed in "Unfortunately, Alex, he has. Shortly after your escape, authorities were called by residence in the area. When they arrived they found the lab in ruins and anything valuable inside was destroyed. I also detected a ship exiting the system that matched the energy signature just as your ship began docking"

I swore loudly and kicked a nearby crate, leaving a small dent and a large ache in my big toe. I felt a hand on my shoulder and I turned, looking at Thane. He said nothing but shook his head, indicating his displeasure in my reaction to the news. "Sorry, Thane; I'm just…we should have stayed and tried to stop them"

Ash spoke, her voice cracking and her face wet from her silent tears "No, you did the right thing. We were out gunned and penned down. If I could have taken the shot…" She turned her head into Shepard's shoulder. As tough as she was, seeing a former comrade she thought was dead fighting against her had been enough to crumble her defenses.

"Ash, I wouldn't have asked you to, this isn't something we know how to deal with. Maybe the data we collected will shed some light that we're actually facing"

"Fascinating"

Mordin had called us in after a few hours of studying the information we had received. He wasted no time setting up his lab and I could see three experiments cooking around the room. I didn't touch anything.

"Data collected from laboratory, contains information from numerous sources. Alliance records, Cerberus research, ancient Prothean legends." He paced the lab, looking as excited as a Salarian could.

Shepard raised an eye brow "Alliance records?"

Mordin nodded "Appears Oblivion was interested in military personnel. Those who had served on the Normandy, to be specific. Extensive details on history, psyche reports, even genetic markers kept for identification. First Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko's data was nearly as extensive as yours, Commander."

I leaned carefully on the lab's work bench "Why do they want Shepard's records?"

Mordin looked at me and smiled gravely "Ask Miranda, numerous references to Project Phoenix data found in Cerberus data."

Everyone turned to Miranda, who didn't seem fazed by the revelations. "Project Phoenix was a contingency plan if we were unable to bring Shepard back through the Lazarus Program. The idea was to recreate Shepard as a full grown clone. Cerberus would then use the same technology used on Grunt to feed all known information on Shepard into this copy. It was hoped that if we couldn't get the real thing, we could come close with a reasonable facsimile." She shook her head "But it never made it to production. The Illusive Man was to determine to bring the real Shepard back from the dead."

Shepard nodded "The data must have been stolen during the raid on the lab a year ago." He looked at Mordin "Could this have been used to create a clone of Alenko?" There was a hushed silence, everyone watching the doctor.

"Possible. Data recovered indicates other use than an Alenko copy. Wanted clone, yes, but with specific gene sequencing. Reason unknown, but legends found may indicate they wanted to mix Prothean DNA with human."

I felt sick at the thought, remembering the fetus's floating in glowing liquid. "I didn't see any sign that they had succeeded in the lab"

Mordin nodded "Gene therapy proved fatal in full grown adults. Recruits were injected without knowledge. Painful deaths. Wasteful." He looked down at his desk, silent a moment "Failure with injecting human embryos as well."

Ashley looked as sick as I felt, and everyone seemed to have some level of disgust. Shepard spoke, his voice hard, like he was trying to keep from losing it "What is this about Prothean Legends and what does it have to do with their experiments"

Mordin looked up "Mercenary data cache filled with Prothean data, most likely given by the reapers. Indicates that the species was working on an Ascension Machine. Reapers never came across device, but data indicates Prothean finished a machine that could bestow a subject with new heights of intelligence and power"

I smirked "Why didn't they use it to stop their extinction then?"

Mordin looked through the files "Developed too late, reapers had wiped out galaxy. Keyed device to specific species DNA, Homo sapiens. Prothean DNA used in hopes of recreating unusual atomic energy needed to unlock the location"

Shepard looked up "This machine is tailored for humans?" He looked around the room "They must be trying to create a creature that could use this machine, make a new race of collectors from humans."

I looked at Mordin "Where's this machine located?"

He looked through the data more "Unknown, Reapers scouring for location, but Oblivion ordered to prepare…disturbing.

I couldn't argue with that

I spent the next three days being run through training by Ashley and Thane. The Drell was teaching me covert maneuvers, Ashley acting at the target. It was more grueling than my physical training, and I was having difficulty.

"You must learn to move slowly and patiently. Rushing leads to mistakes, Jameson, and time if your ally when you wish to become invisible." He looked at my scuffed armor, marked with the countless concussive shots Ash had gotten off before I pulled my own rifle. His masked face looked up at Ashley. "We will continue this tomorrow, in the mean time, please think on my lessons." He helped me up and with a polite nod to each of us, he walked out.

Ash slapped me on the back "At least there aren't any FENRIS mechs shocking your ass around a tract" She chuckled "Come on, let's get some lunch. We've got 2 days before we arrive on Illium, and even then you'll be stuck on the ship anyways"

I groaned and followed her out of the combat simulator. Shepard didn't reprimand me for the events on Omega, but I was grounded in a sense. On top of my work in engineering, I was to train heavily with Ash and Thane to improve my infiltrator skills. While I longed for the days when I could just pause the game and automatically upgrade my skills, I had to admit I was able to keep my cloak up longer and line up my shots faster. Just not fast enough to get off a round before Ash took me down, but it was still an improvement from before. I wasn't going to fail a second time.

"So, I heard you and Tali have been hanging out a lot lately. She was talking how much fun your movie night had been." She had a sly grin on her face "I didn't know you were the head gear type."

I rolled my eyes, to sore to think more about what she was hinting at "Har har, we're friends Ash." I wanted to tell her how much Tali was hurting as she recovered from her first real crush and heartbreak, and how much I was trying to help keep her mind of Shepard and Ashley's relationship. However, it wasn't her fault and it wasn't my business to tell her about Tali's feelings "I don't have to be afraid she'll shoot me with rubber bullets when she gets bored of the movie."

Ash laughed "If you say so. Whatever you two do behind closed doors isn't my business, but she's been less sullen whenever I see her, so keep it up."

I rolled my eyes "Right, I'll be sure to invite you to the wedding. Speaking of which, is polygamy still illegal, see Miranda and Kelly want to make it one big wedding, but I'd prefer to keep it as my personal sex harem" She laughed as we walked over to grab some plates of today's lunch special

Ash hadn't been the only person to think there was something more between me and Tali, but there were always different rumors involving me and other female members on the ship. Yesterday had overheard Ken gossiping with Gabby, swearing he had heard me and Jack getting busy in the sub deck the other night. I cleared my throat and informed him I was with Gabby the night in question. He was quiet the rest of the day while the two of us acted like lovers on a soap opera. Jack must have heard what was being said, because we heard her laughing and making lewd suggestions.

I was able to brush off the rumors as easily as the girls, but I didn't understand what was starting the rumors. I never noticed anyone taking an interest in me besides as a friend, and I wasn't taking any interest in any of them. Well, I wasn't pursuing anything more than friendship. Any normal man would find it hard not to appreciate the toned bodies and supermodel faces, but I kept my fantasies in check. I wasn't looking for love, and I wasn't interested in pursuing anything more than friendship.

I took a bite of the chipped beef on toast, chewing on it a moment "So why is everyone thinking I'm some sort of playboy? I mean seriously, I don't hear anyone talking about Jacob and Miranda. Hell, I haven't heard anything about you and Shepard, and we all know that there's something going on there"

She grinned "Well it's not so much about ship gossiping about who's sleeping with who. It's more wishful thinking" I raised a brow "Alex, you've got a lot of the qualities women want in a man."

I snorted "Yeah, Miranda joked about that two" I took another bite of food. "I haven't seen anyone drooling over me or giving me the same looks you give Shepard"

She waved her fork at me, as if debating on hitting me with it "Hey, Shepard and me can look at each other however we want." She smirked and speared a piece of toast. "Beside, the women on this ship are a lot more subtle than those Asari shaking their blue asses in clubs. You've got a good body" I snorted again "Seriously, you're not built like Jacob or Shepard, but they've had years of intense training to get that. Anyways, you're brave, compassionate, occasionally, and pretty smart; add in your mysterious background and you could have just about any woman on the ship

I laughed, not believing any of it, but I decided to have some fun "Oh any woman, that include you? Oh my, what would Shepard think?"

Ash tossed a piece of piece of chipped beef at me, but was laughing with me "Please, you wouldn't last five minutes. I'd chew you up and spit you out, and you'd love every minute of it"

"Sure, if you say so. I better get back to work; Tali and Jack are seeing where the best place for the orgy is." I finished up and bussed my tray, chuckling as I headed back down to engineering.

"You seem to be in good spirits" Tali looked up from her work as I entered the room, still snickering.

"Ash and I were discussing the rumors of my many female conquests on the ship." I rolled my eyes and looked at Tali "The latest rumor is about me and you"

Tali nodded, looking bothered "Yes, Ken was asking about that as well. I told him that if we had been intimate, I'd have been too sick to work" She glanced at me a moment "It's rather silly that they think we can be together"

I nodded "Yeah, besides the fact I'd probably kill you with a simple kiss, you can do a lot better than me." I looked up at her "Let they talk, you're my friend and I'm not going to let stupid rumors ruin that"

She nodded slowly "Right…" She looked back at me a moment, looking thoughtful "So it doesn't bother you? The rumors I mean"

I didn't look away from my terminal, trying to scan the system for an odd anomaly I that showed up. Hmm, someone was using the training room's holographic programs. That explained the power surge. "Tali, if any rumors were going to fly about me sleeping with someone, I'd rather it be about me and you rather than me and Miranda." I chuckled and looked up, stopping when I saw the strange look in her eyes "Shit, I didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry Tali"

She nodded slowly and turned back to her calculations "It's okay" She back up "It just means I'm going to have to humiliate you the next time we play Skyllian poker"

I laughed "I'm looking forward to it."


	14. 13: Through the Looking Glass

Illium, A city of where just about everything is legal and the deadliest weapon you could have is a well written legal document. I had mixed feelings when I watched Shepard, Ashley, and Garrus leave the ship, ordering everyone else to stay on board. I didn't argue, not because I was being punished for my impulsiveness in both missions I had been assigned to, but because I'd get into even more trouble if I ran into a slave trader. I wanted to shoot the kneecaps of anyone who dared called it "Indentured Servitude".

The mission this time was simple, recruiting a Prothean expert, and Illium had one of the best. Liara T'soni, the archeologist turned information broker. I didn't know if Shepard could convince her to join the team, not without going to war with the Shadow Broker first. He or she was a secretive information dealer who had tried to sell Shepards body to the collectors. Liara had recovered his body to give to Cerberus for the Lazarus Project, but her comrade and friend had been captured, his fate unknown. The last two and a half years had changed the naïve and kind asari, making her cold hearted and merciless like her mother had been on Noveria. I wasn't looking forward to meeting her.

I spent the first half of the day in engineering, helping with the weekly calibrations and maintenance. Tali was pleased with the progress I had made, but was not ready to let me work with the drive core interface. After she explained that a miscalculation could lead to a shutdown of life support or a meltdown, I could understand her fears of letting the new guy tinker around.

"So, Alex, what time should I come over?"

I blinked, and then remembered our plans last week, movie night. With the events of the last few days I had completely forgotten about it. "Oh, um, not sure. Thane wants to run me through some more stealth training in the simulator today." I checked my Omni-tool's digital readout, seeing the time. "It's nearly noon, and I don't think there is anything more I can do down here. I'll skip lunch and have Thane meet me early. I don't know how long he wants me to train for, so we'll say about seventeen hundred hours?"

Tali's glowing eyes smiled at me. "Sounds good, I'll see you then." I grinned and sent Thane the message to meet me at the simulator, then did some last minute checks before heading to the elevator. From the corner of my eye, I noticed Tali watching me leave. I frowned, not understanding why she seemed worried; maybe she knew something about today's lesson plan.

As I made my way to the training room and saw Thane waiting for me, his posture as it always was; thoughtful. He opened the door and I followed him inside. He took a seat at the controls. "Today I will be teaching you to disconnect your mind from your body. This will allow you to be free of the guilt of your actions, and your body will react instinctively."

He typed something into the terminal. "I made this program specifically for this kind of training. If Chief Williams is any indication, you will find this training…disturbing." He looked off to my left and I saw what he meant. Holographic images of the crew had appeared. Shepard, Garrus, Jack, and Tali were standing still as statues, unaware of my presence. I raised an eyebrow and turned back to Thane. He looked apologetic, speaking softly. "She came to me after her encounter on Omega. She even helped me develop a similar program for her own training."

That explained who was in this room last night. "She wanted to be able to put aside her personal feelings and fight Kaidan and the Oblivion right?" The Drell assassin nodded.

"She felt it was the responsible thing to do. She realizes that whether he is a copy or the genuine article, Alenko is working for the enemy, and has to be stopped. It is a difficult thing to learn to kill a friend."

The session ran longer than I had planned, even longer than I had wanted. Even though I knew that the programs were not real, I had trouble pulling the trigger. Thane wasn't too disappointed, stating that he didn't expect me to master it in one lesson. When the lessons were over, I had only 30 minutes to prepare. I rushed through the ship to my quarters, stripping my armor off and jumping into the shower.

I reluctantly stepped out of the relaxing heat of the water and dried off, wrapping the towel around my waist. I opened the bathroom door, planning to slip into my room and change into something clean before Tali arrived. Before I moved one step toward the bedroom, an overpowering smell wafted over me, making my mouth water and my stomach rumble. I moved carefully out toward the small kitchen area.

Tali had turned in my direction and then immediately looked away. "Oh, um, I-I thought you wouldn't mind if I let myself in. I didn't know you were…well I thought I would surprise you." She turned her back to me and seemed to busy herself with whatever she was cooking. Tired as I was, I couldn't understand what seemed to make her so nervous until I looked down

"Oh shit, sorry Tali. Um, I'll go throw something on." I felt my cheeks flushed as I rushed into my room, changing into the form fitting but comfortable Cerberus uniform. I hesitantly moved back to the kitchen, where Tali was plating what looked like lemon chicken and rice. Grinning a little as she still seemed embarrassed by catching me with my pants down, as it were.

"I thought that Quarians had to radiate their food before they could eat."

She seemed even more self conscious. "Actually, I made this for you. I thought you might be running behind, and I knew you hadn't eaten beforehand. Rupert gave me some instructions and the recipe, and I was going to surprise you before you got back, but I didn't realize you were going to get out in time…and I'm babbling like an idiot aren't I?"

"Just a little, Tali, but I appreciate the thought." I sat down and took a careful bite; her eyes were watching me carefully. I smiled and took another bite "It's really good, Tali. Even if you couldn't taste it yourself, you did a good job adding the seasoning." She seemed pleased with herself as I continued to eat, finally realizing just how hungry I was. Pretty soon I was relaxing with an empty plate, offering her my compliments.

"You've been very kind to me, Alex. I wanted to show you how much I appreciate…everything you've done for me"

I stood up and offered her my hand. "That's what friends are for, Tali." I helped her up and moved to the small couch. "And this time, you get to pick." Her eyes smiled at me and used her Omni-tool, purchasing a movie that made me groan. Why did she have to pick the one where the girl is in love with the emo vampire? But I dimmed the lights as she returned to the seat next to me in time for the Opening credits.

The last time we had joked around through most of the movie, tossing around popcorn and poking fun of the acting. This time she had remained completely silent through most of the film. I thought she might be engrossed in the film as much as I could have been if I wasn't worrying about her. It was only during the scene where the emo boy confesses his desire to love /eat the girl that she spoke quietly.

"Alex, do you believe in true love, like the kind in the movies? That somehow and someway the person you're destined to be with forever will find you?"

I turned to look at her, only now realizing that she had curled up next to me, her head resting on my shoulder. I frowned, unable to understand the look in her eyes. "Not really, I think that every person has a soul mate, but I don't think there's some cosmic power that will draw them together. If that were true, no one would be alone. I would like to think you'd know the second you laid eyes on them"

She sat up a little, staring at me, the piercing look trying to tell me something. "Alex, do you think a human can find true love with someone else, another species perhaps?"

I looked at her sadly "Tali, you're going to find the person you're meant to be with, whether they are Quarian, Asari, or Human. But you have to let go of Shepard, it's not healthy"

"Shepard? Alex, you really don't know do you?" Her eyes shimmered a little "I'm not talking about Shepard" She looked away to the vid screen "I'm happy for him, and Ashley. But there is someone…"

"Tali, if it's not Shepard then…who…" She had placed her hands on my chest, her two fingers lightly caressing the place where my heart started to pound. The clarity of the truth crashing around me as my cheeks flooded with heat. "Oh..." I looked into her eyes. "Tali, I didn't think…um…wow…"

She stared at me with a longing in her eyes. "I understand if you don't feel the same way. It's just that I wanted to tell you how I feel." She pulled her hand away, my brain now mush in my head. "Alex, you fell into this world with nothing, and you chose to risk your life fighting for Shepard. I watched you push yourself to the breaking point and then keep training every day. You've always gone out of your way to make me feel important, to make me feel wanted." She stared at me, her eyes shimmering at the edge of tears. "How could I not have feelings for someone like that?"

Somewhere in my brain, something kicked in "Tali, I don't know what to say." I reached out, and gently took her hand. "I never thought of you as more than a friend." The sadness on her face tore me up inside. "I don't mean like that, I mean… I don't know what I mean. Tali, you can do better than me, I've got a lot of issues with relationships. I am not saying there can't be anything more between us, just that I need some time to think about all this"

Her hand gently squeezed mine, before she let it go and stood up. "I understand, I think I better leave." I stared at the door, long after she had left.

I woke the next morning to the sound of my intercom going off. I had probably only been asleep for a few hours, having tossed and turned as the emotions and thoughts swirled in my head. The ringing noise continued as I rolled out of bed and stumbled to noise, and pushed the blinking green button.

"Please tell me this is good news and the reapers decided they only really wanted to end world hunger"

Shepard's voice rang from the speakers. "No, but this is something you need to hear, come up to the conference room immediately." I groaned once I was sure he couldn't hear, throwing on the same clothes I'd worn the night before and shuffled up to the elevator.

I stepped into the conference room, expecting a full crowd, only to find Mordin, Shepard, Legion, and the newest Asari scientist, Liara. The looks on all their faces made me nervous. "Um, okay, what did I do?"

Shepard cleared his voice. "Liara has agreed to help fight the reapers in exchange for help taking down the Shadow Broker. However, she was more interested in the cache of translated Prothean data we recovered. This morning she made a discovery that we missed during our debriefing." I blinked as he turned his attention to Liara. What did this have to do with me? The young asari her focus to me

"The data you collected pertains to the last few decades of Prothean civilization. Like on Illos, small groups of scientist were hiding from the Reapers galactic purge, working on a project that would help stop the next cycle of genocide."

"The Ascension Machine, Mordin mentioned it."

She nodded. "Yes, but there was a mistake made. While it's true that Oblivion was trying to create a human/prothean hybrid to unlock the location of the base. It failed not because of they couldn't match the genetic code, but the unique energy frequency that was needed to unseal the locks."

"Unique energy frequency, okay pretend I'm from another dimension and explain it to me"

She looked at me seriously. "That's precisely it. Everything in the universe uses the same energy frequency, it's like a thumbprint. Nothing in our universe can open that door, but you are not from this universe. Your presence here is not a coincidence."

I stared at her. "Your fucking nuts. No really, that idea is insane"

Mordin looked up. "Theory holds merit. Prothean race dying out, humans likely to become next victims of reaper invasion. However, cannot predict if humans will become indoctrinated. Solution simple, bring human from untainted dimension, make device only accessible to him."

I stared at Mordin. "Okay, you're both fucking nuts." I looked at Shepard "This is a huge jump from logical. You're telling me that I was dropped on the Normandy because I'm some sort of ancient chosen one?"

Shepard shook his head. "It's bizarre, but after the last three years, I don't take anything for granted."

I clutched the desk for support, suddenly feeling light headed. "We don't even know if this place really exists."

Liara looked up. "Actually we do, Legion has been using the Mass relay's com buoy to communicate with the rest of the Geth." I sank into the chair, my legs feeling like Jell-O, I hadn't seen Legion on the ship for days, and I could guess that this was why he had locked himself away in the AI core. "The Heretics have rejoined and uploaded with the others. All the knowledge of what they have done while serving the Reapers is now a part of the Geth."

Legion spoke, his mechanical voice making me shudder. "The heretics discovered a prothean laboratory in the underground ruins of the planet Quana. It is locked with the unique genetic signature shown in the prothean data you acquired. The Heretics and organics serving the Old Machines have tried countless means to gain entry, but failed. Addendum: during the excavation, a strange spike of energy was detected inside the laboratory. This coincides with the exact time Jameson, Alex appeared on the Normandy"

I took deep breaths, my head spinning. How could this be true? I wasn't brave, and I couldn't stop a band of mercenaries, let alone an entire fleet of reapers. But if everyone was right, than it meant that I might be the only one who could stop them. I stared into Shepard's eyes, accepting what could be my destiny, my one true fate.

"I want to go to Quana, Commander. I want to see this for myself."


	15. 14: Regrets

_Hey everyone thanks for all the great reviews. I hope I'm fixing the grammar errors that have plagued the previous chapters. If not, please let me know if I miss something._

_So a small note on this chapter. You'll notice that I've added the Hover tank to the story. This was a tough decision whether I should add this in with the DLC still pending. I decided to add it in, as it can be assumed that the Hammerhead has always been on the Normandy, parked next to the Kodiak but never needed. I know from the trailer that it's supposed to be dropped in a crate onto the surface, but I think it's more interesting that it as a drop ship that it doesn't need to be repacked and picked up every mission._

_But it brings up an interesting point and potential plot changes. With rumors about Kasumi being added to the team and potential side quests for Liara, how do I incorporate them into my story? I want this story to be as accurate to the Mass Effect world; a twisted version of what I think is coming in the third game, minus everything dealing with Alex. All DLC, even the preorder goodies, before the day II posted this story does exist in my story, even if I haven't used it yet._

_I am considering mentioning new weapons and armor that are plot worthy, or just plain cool, into the story as they are downloaded. If Kasumi or any other character joins the ME2 game, or if major missions are added in, I will probably find a good way to work them into the story_

_But I want the opinion of the people who matter most, the readers. Should I remain true to the ME saga as it stand right now? Email me your opinions and advice and I will take them into consideration._

_Thank you again for sticking around through this. I can only hope I remain true to your favorite characters and the spirit of this wonderful game._

_And now, back to our regularly broadcasted programming!_

Regrets

A week had passed since the ship had slipped into Citadel Space, Quana only one more day away. I was currently training in the simulator, Thane and Ashley watching over my progress. I had nearly mastered using my cloak and I was harder to detect, even able to get take a few shots at Ashley undetected. We had just finished the latest session, a black mark where my concussive shot had impacted on Ash's white armor.

"You've shown a great deal of improvement in a short amount of time." Thane rested his hand on my shoulder. "However, you've been spending a great deal of time down here. Perhaps you should take the day off?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I should probably do some research for tomorrow" I swallowed the lump growing in my throat; the thought of what was coming was threatening to leave me in a panic. I rubbed my shoulders, considering a few hours in the shower before locking myself away at my terminal.

"Actually kid, I think you could go to engineering. Maybe go have a talk with a certain someone?" I flinched from the angry tone from Ashley's voice. I hadn't been to work since the announcement, and I hadn't returned any messages. "She's worried about you, and you at least owe her an explanation."

I busied myself with cleaning my rifle, not looking directly at her. "I can't. I don't know what I can say to her." I packed it up "I'm going to bed." I packed my thing, not looking back as I rushed out of the room.

I hadn't been able to sit down and really think about how I felt about Tali. What could I really say to her right now _"Sorry, but apparently I'm some sort of Kwisatz Haderach, can we talk about my feelings later?"_ Even the times I could forget about what was coming, I was still unable to make a decision. Warning alarms were blared in my head, my own emotional defenses preventing any clear thought.

I entered my room, hoping to have some peace and quiet before I was summoned in the morning, only to find I wasn't alone. Ashley must have told her I was coming, or she'd been laying in wait for me, either way Tali was watching me from her seat on the couch.

I wanted to tell her to leave, or just be rude so that she would do so on her own, but I couldn't process anything. She stared at me, her eyes asking the questions she hadn't spoken. I looked away, walking as casually as I could to the locker I used for storing my armor. "Hey Tali, what brings you here?"

Tali stared at me in disbelief. "You know why I'm here. You've been avoiding me."

I removed the chest piece, and placed it onto the rack, the sweat soaked undershirt cooling in the ships recycled air. "I've been avoiding everyone, except Thane and Ashley. I wanted to be bettered prepared for whatever we find on Quana." I turned to her, hoping my half truth would be enough to convince her

From the glare in her eyes, it wasn't. "I don't think this is about training, or what Liara has told you." She stood up and walked over to me. She seemed to be determined to either hug me or punch me, but stopped just out of arms reach. "I think your avoiding me, and I want to know why." There was anger in her glowing silver eyes, and there was something else, doubt, maybe?

I stared back into those eyes, and I knew I couldn't lie or avoid this conversation. I sighed offered her to take a seat. "Okay, let's talk." She sat down and folded her arms, looking apprehensive as I joined her on the couch. "Tali, I'm not trying to avoid you, I just…I don't know what I can say. I like you Tali, but…" I pinched the bridge of my nose, my stomach tying up in knots "I never thought about being in a relationship with anyone."

"You said before you had issues with relationships…" She trailed off, looking away from me "I-I spoke to Kelly, she said you've had some bad relationships. That you think you're…tainted." She seemed to tense up, probably thinking I would blow up about her prying into my personal business.

"Yeah, that's a mild understatement. I've fallen for some really messed up women, Tali, and I wasn't the same when the relationship ended. It's not just about trust and fear of rejection, but being with a woman who wanted to be dominated; I wasn't the same person after that" I looked at her "I didn't like what she wanted me to do to her, but part of me liked being in control." I reached out for her hand as I had the other night. "I never thought someone like you could ever be interested in me, but I was more afraid of what would happen if that did happen. I would never hurt someone I cared about, but part of me wants to take control, make them submit. I didn't want to do that to someone like you, Tali. So I stopped looking for love."

She reached out and hugged me, but it did little to ease the guilt and pain clawing at my insides. Her voice trembling as she spoke "I don't believe you could ever be like that, Alex." She pulled away; her tears making her eyes shine like polished silver. "I trust you"

"Don't say that Tali, I don't even trust myself." I reached out and touched her helmet, as though I was going to stroke her cheek. "Part of me wants to say yes to everything, to just give in and care about you as you want. There is another part that tells me not to, that it'll only end in heartbreak. I don't want to make a mistake and hurt you. Give me more time, I'll talk to Kelly after the mission and see if some therapy might help me make the right decision for both of us. But I promise that I won't avoid you anymore, and I'll always be here for you."

She nodded, slipping away as she had done the other night. She said nothing, and once more I watched the door long after she had gone.

After reviewing the scans of the planet, we had narrowed down the location of recent digging by the Oblivion Mercenaries. It was heavily fortified with mechs and soldiers, practically an army. Taking the Kodiak would be suicidal. The plan was to use the Hammerhead, the three man hover tank, to take out the opposition. With unknown dangers awaiting us, Shepard was going to have the rest of the squad follow us down in the transport ship. Liara, as the prothean expert, would join Shepard and me to secure the lab.

As we climbed into the cramped quarters, we took our positions we were assigned. Shepard was going to drive while Liara would keep an eye on the sonar mapping and ship integrity. That meant I would control the guns and cannon. I gave Tali one last look and a smile, to assure her I would be okay, even if I wasn't sure I would be. "I'll see you in a little bit" was the last thing I said to her as the cockpit sealed itself and I strapped myself in.

The interior was lit only by the terminal displays. I could feel the ship lurch as the thrusters engage and we moved toward the hangar doors. Miranda's voice crackled though the radio. "Kodiak to Hammerhead, we're locked in and ready. We'll be right behind you once you give the signal. Good luck Shepard"

Shepard smiled a little. "Acknowledge, we're opening the hangar bay now." There was a rush of air outside the ship and slight change in gravity as we left the ship and began our descent. My heart raced as I felt the ship accelerate, and I imagined I could feel the heat through my shoes as he entered the atmosphere. After a long moment I heard the thrusters roar to life and felt my body squish a little from the deceleration. I flipped on my display and brought the weapons online. I could see large cavernous opening of the mine shaft. Shaking off my anxiety I focused and zoomed in on the entrance.

"They're bunkering down. 20 soldiers, 7 of them with heavy artillery, plus 6 YMIR mechs." I grinned mischievously and looked at Shepard. "Should we say hello?"

Shepard returned the grin. "Let's send them a house warming gift." The ship accelerated, faster than I expected from my memories of the Mako, but I didn't have time to enjoy the ride. I used the auto targeting system to focus on the heavy mechs and held down the trigger, aiming the cannon high. The missiles rose in an arc and then homing in on the targeted heavy mechs. They tore through their shield and armor, destroying the machines in a rain of fire and shrapnel. I took advantage of the chaos and fired the turret guns, mowing down the guards. As Shepard maneuvered, the camera used for my targeting stayed pointed on the base, allowing me to fire continuously and launch more missiles without having to hunt for my targets.

"Jameson. Drones at 5 O'clock!"

I glanced down at my radar, tapping the red triangles that appeared behind us. The camera and cannon both turn in the direction and opened fire. I could feel the impact as one of drones launched a rocket before being eradicated, Shepard managing to avoid it just in time. The Hammerhead turned and blasted toward the entrance, leaving a trail of smoke, bodies, and craters from the battle.

The maglev tunnels seemed to continue on forever. I continued to wipe out any enemies forces that appeared, leaving a clear path down for the others. Liara kept Shepard informed of where to turn, and warned me if there were more enemies just out of my scope. After what seemed like an eternity of explosions and death, we had arrived outside the massive building that was our main objective. After scouting and eliminating any remaining enemies, we signaled the Kodiak.

We secured our breather unit, and then opened the tank, slipping out as the transport ship deposited the rest of the team. I could feel the energy as we moved closer to the door. Liara, despite her cold nature, was deeply fascinated by everything she was seeing. The door looked ordinary, save for the panel that glowed in the pattern of what must have been a prothean hand. I could feel the eyes on me as I moved forward, and pressed my hand on the scanner.

At first it seemed nothing had happened, and I wasn't sure if I should be disappointed or relieved. There was a faint his and then a loud crack as the doors opened and slid away. I looked at the others; my stomach seemed to have melted away as I took the lead and walked inside.

It was as if no timed could not have touched the ancient laboratory, there was no dust laying on the tables, and all the machines humming as though they were brand new. The room was massive, and in the center was what looked like a large glass cylinder filling the room with a bright blue light. In front of it was an ancient VI terminal, which flicked with a distorted image that reminded me of Vigil on Illos. I moved to it slowly.

"We have anticipated your arrival, scanning your ship and communication to allow this construct to communicate with you effectively, Alexander Jameson" I shivered at the monotone voice, made worse with the use of my name.

"Who are you?"

"We are all that remains of the protheans who spent their last remaining working to complete what you see before you. This device was made for one sole purpose, to enhance an organic being far beyond normal parameters."

"Why?"

"The machines known as reapers had all but wiped out the prothean civilization. They had realized too late that this was not the first time, nor would it be the last. In order to break the cycle, the scientist that resided in this place worked day and night, pouring all resources into what you have called Ascension. The purpose was to create the perfect organic being, one that could stand against the next Invasion. "

"Why not use it on themselves, why use humans?"

"By the time the device was completed, the only protheans knew their race was doomed. They could only choose the next protector from species that showed promise of space exploration before the next invasion. The ones you call Asari and Salarian were the most advanced, but humans showed more promise of genetic diversity. By choosing your species, there was limitless potential."

I swallowed; the question I'd wanted to ask since I arrived now escaped my lips. If the others were talking, I could no longer hear them. "Why me?"

"It would be improbable to risk everything on one race. Fearing Indoctrination, the scientists also worked on a means of accessing alternate realities. They were able to use the machine to send a probe onto your moon which would scan your species for a specific genetic code, bouncing a signal back to our own dimension. You were chosen as the most likely candidate for this machine."

I stepped forward "What will happen when I enter?"

"You're body will be enhanced"

I frowned, something wasn't right. "Enhanced how? What is the price of the power you are offering?"

There was a pause. "You will be enhanced; there is no cost to you. Enter the machine."

I took a step back. "No, I don't think I will."

The image on the screen flickered, seeming to be clearer for a moment, and I stepped back again. The image wasn't like the statues of human like beings, but more insectoid. Even if they didn't look as menacing, I would know the profile of these creatures anywhere. This wasn't a prothean laboratory.

It had belonged to the Collectors.

"If you will not enter the machine, we are forced to choose another viable candidate." The cerulean light seemed to spill on the floor as a portion of the glass slid away, and dozens of tentacle like wires slid out, snaking along the floor, rearing up as if to strike. "Your ship's medical records indicate that the one called Tali'Zorah Vas Normandy is the most likely to survive the process." The tendrils shot forward, aimed at the Quarian Machinist.

"NO!"

I threw myself directly in the path of the wires, shielding Tali from the attack. They tied themselves around my wrists and ankles and began pulling me toward the machine. I struggled violently, while the others rushed forward to try and cut me loose. Before they could make it to me, the air around me seemed to shimmer and a blast of biotic energy slammed into the team. I pulled harder, desperate to free myself. I turned my head to see I was only a few feet away from the mouth, the energy within throbbing, as though it knew I was near.

I continued to struggle harder to escape my bindings. The light was consuming my body inch by inch. I turned to the group, staring into their horror filled eyes as I tried to claw my way out. Before I was consumed completely, I heard Tali scream my name.

_They say your life flashes before your eyes when you die; I guess you start with regrets before you get to the good stuff. I could see every mistake I made that would lead me to this place, to the end of everything I knew and loved. I knew that my friends would die because I believed in foolish things like destiny and fate. They couldn't be more than 10 yards away, probably trying to save me. I wanted to tell them to leave me and save themselves, but all I could do was scream incoherently_

_The pain alone was enough to make me beg for death. I couldn't see or hear, like my eyes and ears had ripped out, but I could still feel what was happening to me. I could feel a spike rip through my chest and heart, but somehow it was still beating. Acid burned in my veins and I could taste the poison that filled my stomach. I continued to breathe even as the needles tore my lungs. I wanted it all to end, I didn't want to feel this, or think about what was being done to me._

_The pain intensified now, I could almost feel my bones crumble to shards to rip through my flesh. I deserved this, for falling for such an obvious trap. How could I believe that I was worthy of being a vessel of salvation against evil? I had seen the signs of death and decay but my pride would never have let me turn back. Now I paying the price for coming here, to this last relic of a race long ago wiped from existence. I only prayed that my blood would satisfy the machines; that my comrades would be spared if I suffered for them._

_But somehow I knew it wasn't satisfied with me alone..._

_Instinctively, I knew something was wrong. I could almost sense they were in trouble, that this was not a ruin but a trap set up by our enemies. A trap I had set in motion. There was no great path laid out before me, it was only the bait to lure in the foolish. Now they would pay for my sins with their lives._

_I thought of my commander, who trusted me with the lives of his crew. John Shepard, the spacer who became the Hero of Elysium, who saved the council from Saren and Sovereign. The man who survived death itself to destroy the Collector's base. The greatest threat to the Reapers, brought down by a weak man's ambitions. I knew that he would forgive me for this, that he'd never curse my name for damning him and the galaxy for my foolishness. The shame ate away at me more than this machine that was dissecting me ever could. I had helped kill the only hope of all sentient life, and I knew he would still try and save me._

_But mostly, I thought of her...and I knew my greatest regret_

_You never realize what you have until it's gone, and it was especially true now. I knew she meant more to me than anything else. More than the mission, more than my own life. I would suffer this agony to save her, but I wanted to die because I was killing her too._

_I wish I had known this sooner, that I could have had this epiphany before I was nothing more but a blob of burned out pain receptors. Would she have felt the same way as I did? Could she have loved me as much as I realized I loved her?_

_I could almost imagine what would have been if I had never come here, if I hadn't become the harbinger of the apocalypse. I could almost see us being together, loving one another. Comforted by the thought of being able to hold and comfort her. If I could just die to spare her life, I would gladly end it all._

_The regrets seemed to fade as I thought of my friends, my family. Now I could see my life flash before my unseeing eyes. Not the life I left behind but one I had lived so briefly. That was when I knew that this was the end. Even before the pain left my body and my heart started to slow, I knew it was over. My mind and body were relieved and accepting, but my soul clung to this existence. It refused to leave the broken shell, even as the darkness enveloped it._

_Death waited patiently..._


	16. 15: Ascension

Ascension

"ALEX!"

Tali struggled against Jack, fighting to break free from her in hopes of saving Jameson from the horrors that lay in the sapphire light. They had all seen the brief image of the collector in the VI's console, and all knew this had been a trap. It wasn't long after the clear tube had sealed itself again that the screaming had begun.

"He's gone Tali! We need to get the fuck out of here!" Jack stared in horror as the agonized shouting grew fainter. She had considered the man within a friend, but even she knew that there wasn't anything they could do but escape and kill the ones who had done this in a slow and painful matter.

"NO! Let me go you bosh`tet!" She pulled her heavy pistol and shot at the now glass, but it didn't so much as leave a scuff mark. "He's still alive! He wouldn't give up like that. He promised…" She collapsed, sobbing onto Jack, who looked very uncomfortable.

"Um, Shepard, get her the fuck off me"

Shepard looked away from the "ascension" machine. He walked over and pulled Tali off of the Biotic, holding her close and letting her cry. "I know Tali, it's not fair. But we can't do anything for him. We can only make sure the reapers pay."

Thane muttered a prayer to Kalihira, asking for safe passage for the soul of a fallen comrade. Miranda looked upset and confused, uncertain about what had happened. Grunt muttered something about weakness, and the others looked uncomfortable.

Joker's voice broke through Shepard intercom. "Sir? We've got a big problem. We're detecting a lot of movement in your area, and I mean like massive Army of Darkness movement. You might want to get out of there."

Shepard looked to the others. "Get to the transport now!" He grabbed Tali and led the way back to the front doors. The others followed behind the Commander, their guns drawn and ready for the worst. Shepard opened the door and rushed out, stopping only after only a few feet.

Husks, hundreds, maybe even thousands, spread out before them, blocking the route to the transport. Dotted among them were dozens of Scions and above them no less than 20 praetorians. They seemed unaware of the team but that would only last so long.

Shepard turned, about to order the others to fall back, but just as the last person left the laboratory, the door had slammed shut, locking itself to the only person who could have opened it. With that person gone, there was no place fortified cover. He removed his Cain "Nuke" launcher and took aim. "On my orders, we give them everything we have."

Tali cocked her shotgun, her voice echoing a cold rage. "You got it commander." Ashley looked at Shepard and pulled her Blackstorm heavy weapon. All around them, everyone was taking cover where they could. Biotics were glowing and guns being calibrated with their most effective ammo. There was only a slim chance of surviving this trap, but they would be taking as many down as possible.

The sound of both heavy weapons charging drew the attention of the husks. As they turned to swarm the team, a quiet _thunk_ was heard before a massive explosion rocked the underground facilities, wiping out all but 5 of the praetorians and the small portion of the glowing blue ocean of reanimated corpses beneath the blast. A second later a glowing burnt orange ball tore through the masses, pulling anything near it into the mass gravity it produced. It took dozens of husks with it before it exploded, taking out dozens more. Biotic shockwaves ripped through the lines, sending bodies and rubble into the air, and the sound of gunfire was deafening. Liara's singularities dotted the battlefield, pulling the weaker enemies into its gravity well and tearing their frail bodies apart.

But it wasn't enough, the more they killed, the more there seem to be. Even with 13 of the strongest and bravest in the galaxy, they wouldn't be able to hold them back for long. They were already running out of ammo and switching guns. It was inevitable, but they kept fighting anyways.

Suddenly, the army stopped its assault, and was retreating back. Jack laughed. "Yeah you better run you fucking pussies!" She sent a shockwave on the retreating backs of the enemy, but before the pulsing line of energy contacted, a biotic field slammed into it. She screamed and looked at her teammates, trying to determine who had stopped her attack. It was only when the line had receded back that they knew where the field had come from.

There was a faint clicking noise as metal met stone with every other step. The faint dark blue glow of cybernetic peaking beneath his scar tissue and tubes attached on his arms and legs. His smirk was a mockery of the man he had once been, or claimed to be. He stopped ten yards away from where the team stood his posture confident, arrogant.

"It's been a long time, Commander."

Shepard stared into the man's familiar face. "I don't care what you claim, you are not Kaidan Alenko"

"Aren't I? Do you recall our conversation on the Normandy, when I told you about killing Vyrnnus after he pulled that military issue Talon?" He smirked. "How can I know about that if I'm not the real Alenko? Maybe it's easier for you to think I was dead than to know that you abandon me on Virmire."

"The Lieutenant Alenko I knew would never work for the Reapers. Even if he had survived, he's rather die than betray humanity!"

The man laughed, cold and cruel "Your right commander, he was willing to die to stop the reapers. I was out numbered, just like you are now. You chose to go to the AA towers and save your little girlfriend" He glared at Ashley, hate burning in his eyes. "I saw the Normandy take off, and I was glad to see you escape. The Geth swarmed me, and dragged me onto their ship while some remained to diffuse the bomb. Obviously they failed. The others almost out ran the blast, skimming the planet's surface and using the mountains for cover, but they didn't expect the electromagnetic pulse. If I hadn't used my biotics, I might have died with them when the ship slammed into the rocks; instead I was half crushed in the rubble. I hoped that the Normandy would return and scan for survivors. Instead it was Sovereign who found me."

Alenko paced, like a lion in a cage, waiting to begin its meal. "You would have been proud Shepard. Saren had kept me alive, torturing me for information about how much you knew. I told him nothing. He was desperate to prove himself useful, and was demanding Sovereign fully indoctrinate me. But the ship refused; I was too valuable to the reapers. I was given to the Collectors for enhancement, to become Saren's replacement when he failed. That's when I learned the benefits of serving the reapers."

Ash stood up "You're their puppet, Kaidan! Can't you see you've been indoctrinated?"

Another laugh "Maybe, but I don't care. Better to serve the devil than stand against him. The Reapers will win, Shepard, no matter how much you prepare the Council or the Alliance. Only those who serve them will be rewarded."

Shepard frowned "No matter what they promise you'll still be there slave, Kaidan. Stop this madness; you can still turn away from this"

Alenko shook his head "No, Commander, I don't think I will. You see, we have unfinished business commander. You left me to die, much like you left that young man trapped inside. What was his name? Alex?" He grinned evilly. "He will be the instrument of my revenge, Shepard"

Tali stared at her former teammate. "Revenge? What do you mean?"

Kaidan turned casually to the Quarian. "The Protheans did indeed make the machine locked away behind you, but the reapers were aware of their efforts. It wasn't hard to bend the scientists to their will; they simply sat above the laboratory, and let the indoctrination take effect. The reapers saw the promise of creating powerful and obedient drones with the device; they added their own enhancements to ensure that any who entered the machine would serve the will of the reapers. The collectors would have been all powerful, gods serving greater gods, if it wasn't for one scientist who hadn't completely succumbed to the will of his masters."

Alenko laughed again "You can't imagine the tortures they put him through when he locked the labs to an unknown genetic sequence. But the Reapers are patient; they knew that eventually the dimensional rift would open and someone would come to unlock this door, not knowing that the hope of one race would doom another."

Shepard stared at the man before him "The information found in the labs, the guards and excavating. It was all a trap to lure Alex here, so he could be pulled into the machine?"

Alenko shrugged "We merely laid out the bait and waited. If the excavation teams had managed to break through, they would have been the first to test the machine." He looked up at the sound of a scream, not in pain, but feral that it made the squad's hair stand on end. "Looks like he's awake." With a wave of his hand a large bit of rock dragged across the ground to Kaidan. He took a seat on it and seemed to relax. "Don't worry about my husks, they won't attack unless I order them too, and I want to enjoy every minute as another one of your fallen comrades tears you to pieces. See you around commander" There was another scream, this time closer. "Or maybe not."

Everyone took cover, some facing the army in front, others facing the laboratory behind them. The tension grew and grew as the silence seemed to grow louder. Ashley had taken out her sniper rifle, aiming it at Kaidan, trying to let go of all her memories of the man who she had fought alongside, who she thought sacrificed himself to save her. She started to pull the trigger.

_BOOM!_

The doors of the lab ripped off, flying fifty feet before slamming into the husk army, leaving a large green smear as it skidded another 20 feet. As the dust began to settle the figure that came into view roared with a fury that neither man nor animal could match.

"Keelah, Alex what have they done to you?"

"My god"

"Magnificent isn't he?"

Jameson's armor was all but destroyed, exposing everyone to the horror of his body. His shoulder length hair white as snow, he would almost appear to be a powerfully built human. It was only as the dust cleared that Shepard saw they glowing blue light was not coming from inside the lab but from Alex himself. The blue lines that wrapped around his entire body pulsed with the glow. It looked as if someone had tattooed the hearts circulatory system on his skin, and where his heart was a long, thick glowing line that ran down to his stomach. He was crouched, growling and every much the image of a savage animal rather than a man.

Shepard stared at what remained of his former teammate and turned to Alenko. "You think the Reapers will keep you when they have something that rivals their own power?"

Alenko walked forward, still staring in wonder of the creature before him. He pulled his eyes away, looking at Shepard. "Oh, I won't be powerless for long. Once your friend is done with you, I will enter the machine and become like him. The only difference is that I will not be a mindless beast; I'm still useful to my masters. Soon every human will be like him, the perfect servant. It was nice knowing you commander." He returned his attention to the beast, speaking with a sneer. "Kill them all. Your masters command it!"

The creature, with sapphire eyes that seemed to be made of the same precious gem, stared at Kaidan, and then studied each face of his former team. He roared, the glowing lines flaring brightly, consuming his eyes in the glow as well. He broke out of his crouch and charged forward. No one had time to raise their weapons against him, not even if they wanted to.

Alex seem to vanish from their sight as he reached full speed, and they all prepared for the assault, but he broke past them, charging the vast army instead. Kaidan's eyes widened and launched a biotic throw directly at Jameson. Shepard and the others stumbled back from the force of the impact, but the beast kept moving forward without faltering. He stopped in front of Kaidan, throwing his hand back and growling.

"Go….fuck…yourself!"

The biotic blow sent the Sentinel flying backwards, the cavern shaking from the impact he made into the walls. Alex roared again and launched himself at the army of husks, blades of pure biotic energy appearing in his hands and slashing wildly at anything in reach. Limbs and torsos flew high in the air as the savage pushed deeper into the crowd. Without their leader, the shriveled bodies turned their attention on their attacker, swarming him with their vast numbers.

Tali began shaking Shepard out of his shock "Commander, We have to help him!" Her pleading seemed to break the spell on the others, who began to fire everything they had. Probes, biotics and every bit of ammo that they had left were used against the massive wall of enemies. They seemed to pay Shepard's team no heed, but rather were trying to climb over one another to reach the center where the cries of bloodlust were echoing. Praetorians fired their particle beams where Jameson was fighting.

"Concentrate on the heavy fighters!" Shepard holstered his empty shotgun and grabbed his sniper rifle.

A burst of light and Alex was in the air, flying towards the crab-like husks. But he wasn't alone; 4 biotic clones had sprung in the air with him, slicing through the monstrosities and vanishing as they smoldered into ash. The former infiltrator slammed into the ground, a blue wave launching husks in the air. The biotic swords vanished. He slammed his fists together and then raises his hands up. The laboratory shook and tore from the foundation, rising above the battle and crumbling into large boulders. With a scream of pain and rage, Jameson turned on the horde and slammed his hands toward the ground. The debris shot past Shepard and impacted on the battlefield.

There was eerie silence as the dust cleared. Shepard came out of his crouch position and looked through his scope. The husks, every single last one, were dead, their parts hewn over the ruined city. Alenko had vanished, running when he had seen the battle was lost. In the center of the carnage, the glow was fading from Jameson. Tali slipped away and ran toward him, stopping when he turned his fierce gaze to her.

"Alex…please tell me your still in there. Do you know who we are?"

The glow continued to fade until it was so faint you could only see it in complete darkness. He took a step toward the Quarian. "Tali…" He fell to his knees, his body shaking from the exertion and adrenaline. Tali ran forward and cradled him. He looked up at her, the crystal blue of his eyes sparkling, and the savage became the man again. He grinned a stroked her mask as though he would if he could touch her cheek.

"I promised I wasn't going anywhere. Not even death can keep me from you."


	17. 16: New Decision

You'd think that after being painfully reconstructed into the salvation of all sentient life, you'd at least be given a book or two before being locked up.

Three weeks since the incident, and I was still stuck in the port observation lounge, bored out of my mind. Normally, I'd understand the precautions they were taking with me. I had been exposed to Reaper indoctrination but I didn't seem effected by it. Not only that but I couldn't remember what happened after I blacked out in the machine. It was all a blur of pain and rage, with flashes of images. I was shocked by the details of what I had done. I could understand keeping an eye on me, if I had something more to occupy my mind.

The first week wasn't so terrible; I was still adjusting to my new body. Everything was different, and it was all fascinating to discover. My mind buzzed like a nest of angry bees, and I had so many thoughts. It was my mind had been locked in a tiny room, and now someone came along and smashed the barriers, allowing it more room to function. I wondered how much I could do at once before I started losing my concentration.

My vision was so much better. I could almost see at a microscopic level, see the ridges of a finger print that would be invisible to the naked eye, and probably never need to use my sniper scope ever again. Though using it one might make my sighting worse, I'd keep focusing on the minor imperfection and scratches that my normal vision could ignore.

My hearing was what kept me from dying of boredom. I could hear _everything_. The thrum of the drive core below me to the whispered gossip of the crew above me, nothing could escape me. I spent my days eavesdropping on conversations that weren't private, identifying crewmember by their footsteps, and trying to shut out Ash and Shepard's "pillow time".

Every defect with my human body was gone. I wasn't sleeping anymore, but I didn't seem to need it anymore. I could close my eyes and relax, but I was still conscious the entire time. After I returned to the Normandy, I ate enough to fill a starving Krogan, but since then I was eating smaller meals. It was simple to guess that my lack of appetite was linked to my inactivity. Then there was the fact I hadn't needed to go to the bathroom at all, which was starting to worry me.

What made things worse was the isolation. I only had contact with Mordin and Chakwas, and that was only for the battery of tests I was being subjected to. They didn't talk much past formal professionalism, something I wasn't used to with Chakwas, who had always been very warm to me. Only one person was asking to see me, and no one talked about me more than gossip about whether I was only pretending to be normal, and that I might snap and start tearing up the ship.

There was a lot of movement heading through Mordin's lab and the Weapons Locker. They must be heading to the conference room. I flopped on my bed and laid my hand on the cool metal of the nearby wall. For some reason I could focus on one area better than the others whenever I was touching the wall. Maybe there was something in the sound vibrations, or it was all in my head. I closed my eyes and concentrated. It was the squad members, all of them shuffling around a small area, probably making room for one another in the small space.

"What's up commander?" The deep voice of Jacob asked the question that I could guess the answer to. It was either an update on the Reapers or…

"Chakwas and Mordin have finished their research regarding Alex's condition." Shepard spoke calm and cool, but there was a hint of interest in his voice. I hadn't heard anything about my "condition". I guessed that they were using extranet emails to avoid being overheard, but I didn't understand why. I hadn't told about my sensitive hearing, not wanting to lose my only means of getting any information to occupy my mind. Whatever it was, Shepard didn't seem to know what the results were.

"Alex's body has been extensively modified, so much so, he can't be defined as human scientifically." Chakwas spoke in a clinical tone, but I could hear the more subtle emotion under it all. She was disturbed by the results. "It was damn difficult to get any blood and tissue samples from him. I had to use syringes designed for Grunts thick skin, and even then it was like giving an injection to the hull plating. Don't even ask me to describe the work I had to do to get a few tissue samples." She was quiet, probably composing herself. "His chromosome count is twenty-five, two more than there should be. His DNA doesn't resemble any known organism; it looks like a quadruple helix rather than the normal double. There are no definitions of any organisms that meet that kind of complexity. I could study this for years and still not understand what it all means. "

Mordin started pacing, the others around him shuffling to make room for him. "Agree with Chakwas. Test results showed remnants of Nanotechnology. Most likely used to speed up transformation. Immunity to poisons, toxins, diseases, even cellular death. Perfection. No understanding as to how it was done, but still…impressive"

Shepard's voice broke. "Wait, you mean the samples haven't started to decay?"

"None, theoretically immortal. Provided vital organs are not damaged beyond repair, but that would prove difficult. Amazing regenerative properties, far beyond that of a Krogan. Fascinating to watch."

Wow, immortal huh? Well I wasn't going to start testing that out anytime soon. I kept my attention on the scene, almost able to see their faces in my mind's eye.

Jacob spoke now, his voice cold. "So in other words, we'd have to blow the airlocks in the observation lounge in order to take him down. He might survive the crushing pressure, but the lack of air and freezing vacuum would do the job. Or we can try pumping gas into the room."

The vein-like marks on my skin started to glow as I panicked at the words. Take me down? What had I done? I sat up and started pacing the room, thinking of escape plans, none of which would work without hurting the crew. I was considering crawling through the air duct when I heard a loud slap from above me. I stopped, putting my hand back on the wall and listening to a scuffle above, someone was being pulled away from someone else. I calmed down when I heard Tali's voice.

"You Bosh'tet! How dare you even suggest that? Let me go Shepard!" There was more struggling, but it seemed the Commander wasn't letting go. "He saved our lives in those ruins, and then we lock him up like a prisoner! Now you're discussing how to kill him?"

Jack laughed. "He's not a prisoner; they get let out for exercise from time to time. He's being treated like an animal; a fucking lab rat! Even if he agreed to the tests, he hasn't done anything to deserve to be locked up like that. " Her voice told the story. She was taking this personal, because she had been through the same treatment as a child. I felt guilty for not spending more time with her; I'd have to change that if I ever got out.

Shepard's footsteps moved away from Jacob, the sound of dragging heels seemed to indicate that Tali was still fighting with him. "That's enough you two." There was silence and a gentle thud of someone sitting down hard. "We're not discussing ways of killing Jameson."

"With all due respect commander, but we need a plan in order. He's been exposed to Reaper tech. He seems fine now, but it could just be a ploy." Jacob moved forward and hit his fist on something solid, the conference table maybe.

There was a mechanical voice, coming from the set of footsteps that hadn't moved since the meeting started; Legion. "Shepard Commander? Taylor's assumption is incorrect. Old machines follow most logical path. The one called Jameson showed the ability to destroy all of us, but did not. To choose to attack husks in order to infiltrate does not suit their needs."

"Legion is right; Alex could have killed all of us on Quana. There isn't any point of him pretending to be on our side."

Jacob shifted his weight. "Alright Commander, but can someone explain to me how he was able to avoid the indoctrination? Alenko said that anyone going into the machine would be loyal only to the reapers."

"EDI, did you find out anything from the records we salvaged from the remains?" I frowned; is that why we were still here? They were digging through the rubble for data pads? We should be rounding up allies; there was only 9 months left before the invasion.

EDI's voice chimed in through the speakers of the room. "After translation, they appear to be the journals of the scientists involved in the project. While little of the actually workings of the machine is mentioned, they were extremely interested in ways to safe guard the machine and it's user from reaper indoctrination. Their study of parallel dimensions showed the most promise. Indoctrination alters the brainwave patterns on the molecular level. However, it is theorized that the process would be dramatically slowed if the sub-atomic energy was incompatible."

Miranda's voice sounded confident, proud even. "All energy is the same on that level, except for those who aren't native to this universe. Alex was able to open the door because his energy wasn't the same as ours. They didn't want a failsafe incase humans were indoctrinated, they wanted a human that was practically immune to it."

"Your assumption seems correct, XO Lawson. I've monitored Jameson since his arrival on the Normandy, while he shows signs similar to what humans call 'Cabin Fever', he has not shown any indication that he is under the influence of Reaper technology. However, during this meeting, he has shown emotional reactions that seem to indicate he has been able to hear what has been discussed."

Whoops, busted. I heard some more shifting, the kind usually accompanying an awkward moment. There were the sounds of terminal keys being hit and Shepard's voice echoed above me and from the speaker in my room. "Jameson? Have you been listening to everything being discussed?"

I walked over and hit the button to talk, going with the honest smartass approach. "Well you wouldn't give me anything to read." There was a pause, no sounds to indicate anything emotions. I must have shocked them. "I can pretty much hear everything on the ship. I'd of mentioned it sooner, but with the way things were going, I figured the ship would run silent. It's been about the only thing I had to keep me entertained."

Jacob muttered about spying under his breath, but no one seemed to notice. Shepard spoke, "Under the circumstances, I don't blame you, but you can't keep things like that a secret. The crew deserves to know if someone is eavesdropping."

"Fair enough, and I would like to say that I haven't listened into conversations that have been private or into any of the more intimate goings on of the crew" I hoped Shepard and Ash would get the hint and not feel like I was a peeping tom. "However, if I'm going to be blasted out into space, I recommend Jacob accompany me for scientific comparison." I got a laugh this time, at least from Jack.

"You're not going to be jettisoned into space, but I would like to keep you under quarantine for a little while longer. I'll make sure that you get something to occupy your time better than listening to the crew gossip." I grinned, feeling a little bit better about my living conditions.

Chakwas voice came above me, speaking in her clinical fashion. "Actually Commander, I see no reason to keep locked away. His immune system kills any pathogens in his bloodstream, so he's completely sterilized. And if EDI is correct about the cabin fever, he should be allowed to stretch out his legs. I'm confident he won't be a problem"

"Or he could use that opportunity to kill everyone on the ship. You saw what he did on the planet Shepard, it's not like we could stop him if he got loose."

Okay, now Jacob was getting on my nerves. I hit the comm. button, not caring if I wasn't supposed to hear them talk about this. "First off Jacob, I haven't been able to do anything biotic since I arrived on board. The glowing thing has only been visible when the lights are out, with the exception of 5 minutes ago when you were suggesting how to kill me. Second, even without them, I'm pretty confident I could physically break down the door if I wanted to." I let go of the button, taking a few deep breaths while the others muttered to each other quietly. It was sinking in; I wasn't a prisoner if I didn't want to be.

When I had calmed down I spoke again. "Shepard, if you think I'm a threat to this ship or the crew, I am fine with being kept here. But at least give me something to occupy the time. Books, extranet, fucking conjugal visits, I don't care, but I need something." Jack had whispered something about who was going to volunteer for the last part, but whoever she was talking to didn't respond.

Garrus spoke finally "Commander may I offer a suggestion?" There was no sound, and the Turian continued "I think we should let him out, but restrictive access to the ship and a curfew. He undergoes a psyche evaluation with Yeoman Chambers and gets a daily checkup with Dr. Chakwas, and they can suggest when he's ready to return to his duties."

Now Samara was speaking as well. "I would also like to suggest something. His exhaustion after the battle and his inability to use his biotic powers may stem from a lack of understanding. I feel that with proper training he will be able to once more draw on his abilities and have better control over them. If there are no objections, I will undertake that task."

Shepard shifted his weight; I could almost see him mulling it over. He didn't bother using the intercom. "Are you alright with those arrangements, Alex?"

I grinned "What, getting off work, being able to stare at different walls and learn to use my gifts? Is the Space Pope reptilian?" There was a pause and I rolled my eyes. "That means yes. I better get some more modern pop culture references."

There was no response, but the locked display on my door went from red to green and there was an announcement from Joker. "Attention Normandy crew, Alexander Jameson is now clear to move about the ship. If you see hear him muttering about being the Harbinger of our Destruction, please inform the Commander."

I laughed and stepped out, taking a deep breath. Even though I knew the air was the same in my room as it was everywhere the ship, it felt more refreshing and cooler. I grinned and made my way down the hall taking a spot by the elevator. I leaned against the wall and waited. I appeared calm on the surface, but my heart was racing in anticipation.

The door opened a few minutes later, revealing most of the squad. Miranda nodded politely as she, Legion, and Garrus stepped off first, returning to their duties. Thane walked past me, my former teacher patting my shoulder as he returned to the drier air of the life support room. Samara walked over to me, staring into my eyes as though looking into my soul.

"You will find my teachings challenging, but very effective." She turned her eyes to where I was staring. "I think we will begin tomorrow, so you can have some free time." She smiled knowingly and returned to her room opposite my former prison. I nodded to her as she left and returned my crystalline eyes back onto my desire.

Tali looked hesitantly at me, but with a gentle push from Liara she stepped off the elevator. The Asari Scientist nodded to me before disappearing into the Medical bay, where she had set up her office as she had on the original Normandy. I turned back to the Quarian, who looked down at the ground, looking exceptionally awkward. I couldn't help but grin.

"Thank you for defending me up there Tali."

I took a step toward her, and she seemed even more nervous "N-no problem. You deserved better than that. I'm surprised Shepard allowed it to go on so long." She stared into my eyes, her silver eyes glowing with uncertainty.

I reached out and took her hand. "How about I make it up to you, then? Like dinner and a movie?" I reached out with my other hand, caressing the side of her helmet.

She now looked at me expectantly "You mean, like our movie night?" Her free hand wrapped around my wrist, but didn't pull it away. Feeling bold, I took another step forward, letting go of her hand and wrapped it around her small waist and spoke tenderly.

"I was thinking, more like a date, Miss Vas Normandy."

She stepped away, and I wondered if I had gone too far. She then reached out and touched my face. "Are you sure?" Her voice trembled with fear, and I remembered the conversation about my doubts that happened a lifetime ago.

I closed my eyes, enjoying her touch, even if it was blocked by the material of her suit. "Death makes you realize what means the most to you." I looked in her eyes "I want to take things slow, but there is no doubt about what I want or, in this case, who I want."

Her eyes shimmered with tears, but they were also smiling in a way only she could do. "It's a date then." She gave me a playful poke "I just hope you like Quarian opera."

I embraced her once again, truly feeling at peace with her in my arms. "If I can be with you, I'll love it."


	18. 17: Lessons

Lessons

I was practically skipping the next morning when I made my way to the Starboard lounge, where the Asari Matriarch was meditating, the biotic glow swirling around her body. The singularity swirling in her hands faded away as she stood, turning to me. "It is good to see someone so young in such high spirits." She smiled slightly. "Are you ready for your lessons?"

I grinned. "Yeah so what's lesson one? Throw fields or will we go for lifting entire building right away?"

She continued to smile. "Your humor is appreciated, but I must ask you to take this more seriously." She turned away and looked at the vast window that opened out to space. "You have amazing power, but I don't understand how you preformed such feats."

I nodded. "Actually, I'm not sure either. Biotics deal with manipulation of the nervous system, accessing eezo nodes developed by exposure to element zero in utero. Krogans could undergo surgery to enable biotics, so it's possible that something similar was done during my…well whatever you want to call it. However, Biotics deal with dark energy, which manipulates mass fields. It should only really affect gravity, but somehow I made weapons and copies of myself."

Samara turned back to me, her eyes wide. "You are well versed in the study of biotics."

I smirked, and looked out the window as she had. "I don't sleep, and it turns out I have a photographic memory. I was on the extranet most of the night, hoping that I could find something that would help with these lessons."

She nodded. "Interesting, and what have you learned from your studies?"

I shrugged. "The obvious answer is that I wasn't using dark energy, or at least not entirely."

She smiled. "I have come to the same conclusion. I cannot explain how you can manipulate other forms of energy, but I believe learning control over biotics would allow you to unleash that potential again."

I turned back to her, walking to the Justicar "Where do we begin?"

She took my hand and led me to the center of the floor, where she sat down. I followed suit. "You must learn to control your own body in a way you've never experienced." She turned out to stars. "Relax your body, take slow deep breaths." She closed her eyes, but I continued to look out on the vast emptiness.

"Let the world sweep away from you, the throb of the ship's engines, the sound of your breath, the beat of your heart. Focus on the threads that connect the universe. Every action ripples, every thought passed on, every emotion shared. Open yourself to this, and embrace eternity."

My mind went blank, and darkness enveloped my senses. Nothing existed, but then everything existed. I could feel it, tingling through my body like an electric current. Startled by the sensation, I lost concentration and the world rushed back. I shuddered and looked at my hand, where the light of the tattoo was fading back into my skin. I turned to Samara, who simple nodded.

"I am impressed, Alex; Most take months of heavy meditation before they can sense anything. It is the first step, but there is much more to controlling biotics than simple feeling the power. I want you to continue your meditations for the rest of this session."

I took another breath and returned to the dark abyss.

After two hours of meditation, I was freed to go about my business. However, as I made my way to the mess hall for a quick bite, I was approached by Shepard's personal assistant.

"Hey Alex, got a minute?"

I looked at her and chuckled. "A minute or an hour, Kelly? I have a feeling you don't want me to help you move furniture"

She smiled back. "To the point, I like that. Yes, this is about your evaluation." She gestured to me to follow her onto the elevator. "So, how are you feeling?"

"If I say fine, would that be enough?" I rolled my eyes as she shook her head. "Didn't think so. Well it's weird, I feel like I'm myself, and then there are times where I feel, well, alien." I looked at her. "It's usually late at night when I realize I'm not tired when I should be."

She nodded. "Understandable, how about your memory? Are you still having trouble recalling what happened?"

I shrugged "Images mixed with emotional rage. I try remembering how it felt when I attacked the husks, but nothing, like I wasn't there. I remember the pain." I shuddered a little. "It's not something I want to go through again."

I looked at her, noticing the distant look in her eyes "Does it get easier to look back at terrible things?" I could tell she was reliving her moment in the collector base, being trapped inside a pod, waiting to be liquefied to create a human reaper. Shepard had made it just in time to save the crew, but it had left its mark on everyone. She came back to reality and looked back at me, with a smile.

"With time it does, but you have to be willing to look back on it." We stepped off the elevator onto the CIC floor. There was a nervous look among the crew as I followed her. She seemed to notice it as well. "They are concerned about you being up here. But as long as you're chaperoned, Shepard is fine with it."

"Speaking of which, where is he? Please tell me he's still not digging around on Quana"

She turned, just outside the research lab, frowning "Oh we left orbit last night, we're heading to Tuchanka. I thought with your hearing you'd know he was in the engine room."

I blinked and listened; sure enough, he was two floors below me, talking to Grunt about how best to unite the Krogans under the Urdnot clan. I looked back at Kelly and smirked. "So he is. It may sound strange, but I've learned to tune out most of the ship. Now that I have something to occupy my time, I figured I could at least give the crew some privacy."

She nodded "Good to know, I hate to think you were listening in on the women's bathroom." she grinned, joking with me. She opened the door and we walked inside, heading to the door leading to the conference room. Mordin looked up, his eyes falling on me immediately

"Jameson, good, wanted to talk. Know you have some free time, wondering if you are interested in more thorough examination."

I blinked at Mordin. "Um, yeah, I can understand you couldn't do all the tests you wanted since I couldn't leave the room. I've got my psyche evaluation right now, but yeah I'm up for a few tests later, provided Chakwas is involved."

"Understandable, can use med lab for body scans and neural mapping. Looking forward to it." He smiled and returned to his study of what looked like a tissue sample under a microscope. I entered the hallway after Kelly.

She looked down at my arm "Why are you doing that?" I looked down and frowned, my hand rubbing the crook of my elbow. I hadn't realized I was doing that.

"Oh I was just remembering one of my exams. Chakwas had been having trouble taking a tissue sample and it took an hour before she got anything viable. Hurt like hell."

Kelly looked shocked. "They didn't give you any anesthetic?"

I laughed "They did, but it didn't work. They even gave me morphine; nothing. I suppose my body rejects not only toxins and diseases, but also anything beneficial. "I shrugged and walked into the conference room, taking a seat. "Got to take the good with the bad."

She continued to smile, moving to a seat across from me. "That's a very positive attitude." She picked up a nearby data pad "So I thought I would do some word association. I'm sure you know how it works. I say a word and you say the first word that pops into your head."

I nodded to her, relaxing in to the leather of the chair "Ready when you are Doc."

She looked down at the data pad. "Alright. Mother."

"Father."

"Life."

"Death."

"Domination."

"Overrated."

She laughed, but continued "Right."

"Wrong."

"Love"

"Tali"

She paused looking at me, clearly surprised by my response. "Really? After our last talk you talked about not wanting love"

I rolled my eyes. "Well yeah, that was before. I thought I was going to die in that machine, and that made me rethink my outlook on life."

She wrote something down on her pad. "So you don't feel tainted anymore?"

I felt uncomfortable in my chair. "Debatable. I mean I still feel the same way as before, but when I'm with Tali, I feel like…I don't know exactly. I do know that I want to be a better man for her."

She looked up, and tilted her head. "Aww, that is so sweet. And thanks for not getting mad about me telling her about…well I broke the doctor-patient confidentiality…"

I sat up straight, remembering where the quarian had learned about my issues. "Yeah, I can't say I'm happy that you told her about my ex's. But I doubt Tali and I would be where we are now if it wasn't for that, so I can't argue with the results. Just don't make a habit of it."

She nodded. "So any plans for you two?"

I smirked. "Nothing concrete for tonight. I wasn't sure what my day was going to look like. But I imagine a quiet evening with a romance vid in our near future."

She gave a slow nod. "Anything more than that?" Her tone seemed to hint at something, but I said nothing. After a moment she spoke again. "I'm sorry; I know it's a personal question…" She blushed, confirming my assumption.

"Yeah, we haven't talked about that kind of intimacy yet, Kelly. I want to take things slow, and I want that first time to be perfect."

She blushed more and looked away. "That's good. I'm glad you are not rushing into something as important as this." There was something in her face told me she knew something more than I did. "Let continue with our test. I imagine Mordin is wearing a hole in the floor waiting on us."

I was lying on the medical bed, watching the long metal scanner move up and down my body. I had spent the rest of the afternoon being a voluntary guinea pig. I had asked Chakwas to be present to ensure Mordin didn't get too enthusiastic with his experiments, but it wasn't necessary. The Salarian Scientist was always ethical in the experiments, never doing anything that could cause might do lasting physical harm.

The machine whirred to a stop and I sat up, heading to the display where both doctors were looking over the results. I had amazed them earlier when Mordin had used liquid nitrogen and a small flame on a portion on my skin. I had withstood the heat for over 30 seconds before I pulled my arm away, and the freezing liquid frosted my skin, but there wasn't any damage to speak of. They were now looking below the surface for a glimpse at my cybernetics.

"Remarkable." Chakwas looked over my bone structure. "Whatever that machine did reinforced the calcium with something else. It's also far denser than even modern gene therapy can replicate. I'd say you could withstand 10 times the normal amount of pressure before it even begins to fracture."

I smirked and looked at the monitor. "I'll keep that in mind when I feel like throwing myself in front of traffic."

Mordin was interested in my brain scans. "Fascinating, average use of human brain activity is thirty percent during testing. Salarian about fifty. Yours was around eighty." He looked over at me. "Without external mental stimuli, quite impressive"

"Yeah well I had a lot on my mind." I glanced over the scans, noticing something missing. "Is it me or am I noticing a lack of cybernetics? I'd thought I'd be part machine or something."

Chakwas nodded. "You're not mistaken. You have unusually large eezo nodes throughout your nervous system, and I detected a biotic amplifier in your brain tissue, you don't have anything more in you than before you're transformation."

Mordin rubbed his chin. "Cybernetics unreliable, capable of malfunctioning. Nanotechnology used to make lasting changes. Simple. More interest in effects of tissue on other species"

Now I was lost. "What the hell are you talking about?"

Mordin smiled. "Most cells have genetic markers unique to their species. Samples lacked said markers. Theorize possible 'universal' cells, capable of transplanting in Asari, Salarian, even Quarian without host body rejecting them."

I smirked "Maybe, but it's also possible that my cells could attack and mutate their DNA. But let me know how that testing goes." I stood up, stretching my muscles. Chakwas smiled but Mordin looked disappointed.

"Still have time for more tests. Effect of various gases on lungs, mystery of blue markings still not uncovered. Tired? No, no need to sleep. Nourishment a possibility, no wait, had meal before testing. Biological waste disposal, No, digestive tract breaks down all material for use, no need for bathroom breaks…"

I laughed and picked patted him on the shoulder, pointing out the medical window. "Actually, someone far more interesting than myself is waiting for me to finish." He looked up, staring into Tali's expectant eyes. "There's always tomorrow, Doc. But I need to keep my priorities straight."


	19. 18: Gossip

Gossip

Talks on Tuchanka have been going very well over the last week, as far as Krogan talks could go anyways. Wrex and the remaining clan leaders were still in a crush, a meeting on neutral ground where violence was prohibited. Shepard, Miranda, and Grunt were going down to the desolate surface every day and returning to the ship when the sessions adjourned for evening. Many of the reptilian aliens thought that having humans at the meeting was disgraceful, and even more that they didn't stay on the surface. The loudest complaints were coming from the ones whose body guards kept trying to ambush Shepard on his way to the transport.

Meanwhile I was continuing on my routine of medical and psychological testing after a morning of biotic training. Kelly had finally declared me mentally fit to return to active duty tomorrow, pending the Commanders approval. I was happy to have an end to the evaluations. I enjoyed talking to Kelly, and it was nice to get some of my issues out in the open. However, whenever the conversation came around Tali, I always felt like she knew something I didn't. She was grinning like the cat that ate the canary, when I mention my plans tonight with Tali, that she was planning a surprise for the evening.

My lessons with Samara were improving immensely. I could now call on my biotic energy at will, but I hadn't done anything more than lift an army cot into the air. It was frustrating to feel the energy pulse in my veins, my tattoos glowing bright blue, only to feebly move an item. The Asari Justicar was exceptionally patient with me, telling me I needed some more patience and meditation.

Mordin's experiments had dwindled as he ran out of ideas for humane testing. He had finally tested to see the effects of toxic gasses on my lungs, my ability to digest Turian cuisine, and my livers ability to metabolize various alcohols. Unsurprising at this point, I had no negative effects from any of the testing; I couldn't even get buzzed. The Salarian scientist finally relented to his more 'uninteresting' experiments, which involved giving me access to his Task Force files and seeing how fast I could learn and creatively think.

Today, I was working with Mordin on theories to cure the genophage, the genetic disease his race had unleashed on the Krogan. It reduced the warlord race's birthrate so that only on in a thousand children actually made it to term. It was horrifying until you considered that the average Krogan could have over a thousand children in less than a year. Shepard wanted something viable to show the factions that opposed the Urdnot Clan if the situation called for it.

"I'm not saying we completely cure it, Doc, but we can up the fertility rate."

"Still dangerous, Krogan population in check. Higher birthrates could lead to second Krogan rebellion. More death, potential extinction of krogan race. Too risky."

I shook my head, annoyed. "We're not talking about the same Krogans, fighting each other for dominance. We're talking about a united government, capable of representing the tribes without going to war for more resources. That's the condition for curing the genophage"

Mordin paced "Stable government needed, could take years. Inadvisable."

I rolled my eyes. "So we cure it after they are stable." I glanced over the data from Mordin's assistant, making my own notes on theories. I could probably get a masters degree with all information I had absorbed in the last few days. "You're over complicating things, Mordin. Let's take a break; we've been at this all night. You need a break and I have lessons in an hour."

Mordin slowly blinked his tired eyes. "Yes, should rest soon. Fatigue counterproductive to research. Meaning to talk to you anyways, personal matter."

Uh oh. Mordin never talked about personal matters. He was always more concerned with science and research. "What's up?"

"Aware of human's multi-racial taste for sexual encounters. Wanted to discuss relationship with Tali`Zorah."

"Oh god, please tell me this isn't a talk about the birds and the bees, Doc." I started to feel very hot, my cheeks now flushed with embarrassment.

"Hmm, interesting analogy. Pollination by means of insects, similar to sexual reproduction. Yes, have concerns. Quarian immune systems incredibly weak outside enviro-suit, always a risk. Hyper immune system and clean room greatly minimize chance of infection. Still, show caution. Could kill her."

I turned away from him, walking to the window that looked over the drive core. I couldn't see her, but I heard her talking to Gabby about having a poker night sometime soon. I smiled faintly. "I know Mordin, but we're not planning on intimate anytime soon. There's a lot I don't know about myself and too much to lose if we just hop into bed."

"Understood. Still, forwarding booklet for quarian-human relations advice to your quarters. Also EDI has vids of.."

I cut him off "Okay, I appreciate the sex talk, I'll look at the books when we get to that part, but I'm not asking EDI to show me porn, thank you." I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. "I better go. Get some sleep, Mordin. I'll be back tomorrow to continue talking about work, and only work." I emphasized the last point, leaving as fast as I could before the doctor brought out the dolls for a visual sex education.

I made my way down to Samara's room, saying nothing as I sat next to her, closing my eyes and letting the energy flow through me. It was habit to join her in meditation before she actually began her latest lesson, and something I was especially grateful for today. My energy crackled around me as I tried to calm my body from the embarrassment of Mordin's "talk". After a half hour, I felt Samara stand next to me, and I opened my eyes and looked up.

"Your energy is different today. Is something troubling you?"

I sighed. "Not really, just an awkward conversation. I'm fine now, so what is on the agenda today?"

She walked over to the window. "Actually I think today we might try to unlock your other power. Your energy was similar to the kind you exhibited on Quana. Perhaps it's not about mental fortitude, but emotional distress."

I laughed, not able to help myself "Great, so I can become the ultimate weapon through social angst. Just call me Emo-Man!"

She turned, smiling faintly. "I was thinking more of stress and adrenaline being the trigger. I want you to let the energy flow as we have been practicing, but this time envisioning the same conversation."

I shook my head in disbelief. "After this we can try clicking my heels together and chanting 'there's no place like home'." I closed my eyes and let the biotic power swirl through my body, recalling the events of the past few hours, even adding more mortifying thought of what could have happened if I had stayed. I raised my hand as my irritation grew, trying to summon a weapon from the nothingness.

There was a flicker in the energy, and then something deep within me pulsed through my system. It was a power that I hadn't felt before, and as I opened my eyes, I saw a faint glow of near invisible blade before me. I struggled to put more energy into the fading weapon, causing it to pulse in and out of existence. I felt a backlash in the energy as I lost control, causing me to fall to my knees, gasping for air as if I was back on the Citadel with a FENRIS chasing me around the C-Sec training grounds.

Samara helped me up as my breathing calmed. "That was impressive, but it seems you are still not able to fully control the flow of this energy quite yet." She tilted her head, a curious look on her face "What was it that upset you."

I blushed again, trying to look at anything but the matriarch. "Oh, Mordin was asking about my sex life."

The Justicar touched my shoulder. "The doctor is merely showing concern for the safety of the Quarian. But there is nothing to be ashamed about. Such acts are a beautiful expression of the love you two share for one another"

"Ugh! Please, I really don't want to go through this again." I took a step back from her "No offense, but we're not having sex yet." I sighed "Look, I think we made some real progress today, so I'm going to check in with Chakwas and then get an early lunch." And for the second time today, I was rushing away from another embarrassing scene.

I stabbed at my salisbury steak forcefully, taking my irritation out on my lunch. It seemed the whole ship was obsessed with sex. After my examination I was given yet another lecture about the dangers of sleeping with a quarian. This time it was Chakwas, who locked me in the med lab while she and Liara both bombarded me with advice and helpful suggestions; all the while I was considering throwing myself out into space. Thankfully my surly demeanor was keeping the rest of the crew from my table, so I was allowed some peace.

I heard the elevator open and watched Miranda make her way to the mess chief. The talks must have ended earlier than usual today. Judging from the dirt and scuff marks on her uniform, it was probably another fight breaking out between warring clans. If this continued, there would be no opposing clans left, and at the moment I was all for it.

She glanced at me, smiling and giving me the same look I'd seen all day. Was there some big secret that I wasn't in on? She took her meal to the far corner, laughing when I was started checking to see if I had ripped my pants. As silly as it sounded, it had happened a few times already due to the increase of muscle mass now making every bit of clothing I owned was now a size too small. Even after requesting a new wardrobe, I thought that it must be the source for the stares.

Finding my clothing intact I returned to my meal, only to find Shepard sitting across from me with a large plate of food. He looked scuffed up, even after changing out of his armor and into his more comfortable attire. I smirked at the commander.

"Hey boss, what bring you to this table?"

His face was stern as he started eating. "I've heard you've been stomping around the ship. Something bothering you?"

I sighed, taking a big bite of the perforated meat. "Other than everyone seems to be interested in my love life, and get the feeling I have a kick me sign on my back."

"Actually I've been meaning to talk to you about that…"

I groan, smacking my head into the table "Not you too, Commander! For fuck's sake, Tali and I are taking things slow." I looked up, looking up at his disbelieving face. "Why does everyone thing I'm trying to jump into bed with her?"

Shepard chewed on a piece of steamed broccoli, finally seeming to believe my words. "It's a small ship, Alex, and everyone wants to know the juiciest bits of gossip. You and Tali are the newest couple on the ship, so you're going to be the focus of a lot the talks." He smirked. "And with Tali asking for antiseptic and immunity booster supplements from Chakwas is only going to fuel the rumors."

I looked up, my heart thudding in my chest. "She did what?"

Shepard looked up at me, surprised at my reaction. "The doctor said she came in yesterday. Chakwas wanted to give her an exam, but she said she wasn't sick. She said it was in case of a special emergency…Alex, where are you going?"

I left my meal and moved to the elevator. "EDI, where is Tali`Zorah's current location?" She was off duty by now, and I wanted to talk to her about this.

The mechanical female voice from the blue orb in the elevator spoke. "Tali`Zorah is currently in her private quarters." This didn't improve my mood as elevator shifted, moving down to the living quarters. I tried to reason with myself. Tali might have a suit breach, or she may be planning to use them for when we, okay, when _I _was ready. I calmed down as I made my way to her room opening the first door and stepping into the decontamination room.

I didn't wait for the door to slam shut or the hiss of the germ killing gas, punching the intercom. "Tali, do you have a moment to talk?" The lights of the scanner washed over me and back, checking the room for contaminants. A few moments passed when Tali's nervous voice crackled through the speaker.

"You're a bit early Alex; I'm still working on….can you come back later?"

I closed my eyes, trying not to let my anxiety get the better of me. "Tali, does this surprise you have planned involve boosting your immune system?" I wanted to get the point across, but didn't trust myself to say anything more. I couldn't even listen to see what she was doing behind the door.

"I…How?…It's not how it sounds Alex."

I was getting impatient waiting for the door to open. I took a deep breath to calm down. "Okay, I'm listening." The door to her quarters opened and stepped inside.

I had never been inside Tali's inner sanctum, and I was taken aback by the sight of it. Tapestries lined the walls and silk hung down from the ceiling. Pillows line the floor instead of a couch, and thick Persian Rugs covered the metallic floor. It was as if I walked off the ship into the tent of an Arabian Princess. In the far corner was Tali's personal workshop, with various bits of metal scattered about the floor. I turned to the pungent spicy smell coming from the kitchenette. She had something in the small oven, and judging by the device used to radiate and sterilize food for quarian consumption, it was just for me. I looked away and my eyes fell onto a dress, lush purple silk that seemed to be just her size. The reality of what she had planned swirled around me.

"I'm such an ass…"

I turned to Tali, the hurt look told me enough, but her words tore into me like daggers. "Mordin told me about you being able to eat Turian food, so I thought you'd like to try something my great grandmother once cooked on our home world." Her eyes followed my gaze "It was one of Ashley's that she gave me. She even helped hem the dress to fit me. I wanted tonight to be special."

I my stomach felt like lead. "Tali I'm so sorry. I've just….damn it half the ship been acting like…" I struggled for the words to make up for what I had accused her of. But something was bothering me… "Wait, how did Ash help you with the tailoring?"

"She came down here. Once through decontamination there is very little risk of infection out of the suit…" She flushed, knowing she had said too much. Now I wasn't the only guilty party.

"No risk if all you're doing is helping you with a dress fitting. There was a little more planned tonight than just dinner, wasn't there?" She turned away, her feet shifting her weight. She only did this when she was embarrassed. "Tali`Zorah Vas Normandy, you were trying to seduce me." It wasn't a question, and I cracked in a grin.

She turned to me, her eyes shimmering with tears. "Alex, when you nearly died, it was like part of me went with you, even if you didn't feel the same way. But you came back, and the last week has been so wonderful, better than anything I deserved." She trailed away closing her eyes. "I've minimized the risks; I want you to see what's behind this mask, to feel your skin against mine…"

I reached out and took her hand, smiling at her "I'm glad I came down her when I did. If I had come down here when I had planned to, your little trap would have worked." She tried to look away again, but I took her helmet between my thumb and finger and turned it back to my gaze. "Tali, I love you, with all my heart. That is why I don't strip that suit off you and carry you into the bedroom, ironically enough." It was adorable to see her get flustered by my words. I lifted up her hand, kissing both of her thick fingers. "I don't want to rush this, and risk hurting you. Mordin's testing is almost done and I'm almost in control of myself. I promise that you won't have to wait too much longer, and when the time comes, you will not regret it."

She reached out and hugged me gently "All the planning and you manage to make waiting sound so much better. And I love you too" She sighed and pulled away "I better put dinner in the freezer."

I grabbed her hand, stopping her from moving away "What are you talking about?"

"Alex, I thought we weren't going to…"

I chuckled. "No bedtime fun, but I didn't say tonight couldn't be special. It would be a waste of those supplements." I let go took a step to her, sliding my hand to her mask. I looked at her for permission, her hand wrapping around my wrists and a slight nod were my answer. I found and held the clasp, a faint hiss escaping as I pulled away the item that had kept her face hidden from the world.

Her skin was pale lavender, the same color as the glass on her helmet. Short black hair was peeking out beneath her shawl, and felt incredibly soft as I removed the cloth and rest of her head piece. She looked so human and yet so exotically alien and I could do nothing but stare at her. She seemed to become more embarrassed, her cheeks flushing a deeper purple, but her eyes glowed more brightly, begging me to say something soon.

I touched her face, the silky warmth of it drawing me closer to her face. "Tali, you're beautiful." I didn't wait for a response as my lips met hers, trying to pour all my feelings for her into our first kiss. She responded with the same enthusiasm.

I reluctantly pulled away, my arms still wrapped around her waist. "I'll watch the food, you go get dressed. That way I will be too busy to peek." I winked, causing her to blush again as she went to change.


	20. 19: Price of Power

The Price of Power

There have been some nights I missed sleep, when I could just shut out the world for 8 hours. As I held Tali, however, I realized one of the advantages.

She had wrapped herself around me, her head resting on my shoulder. She held on tightly than I thought possible, like I would disappear if she loosened her grip. But her face so peaceful, so beautiful, I could live a thousand years and never find anything quite so moving. She was living art, and I pitied those who coveted the beauty of the asari.

The world melted away, as it always had when I was with her. Time had no meaning, and there was nothing beyond her bedroom, nothing but myself and my sweet quarian. In what seemed too short a time, she began to stir. I stroked her silken hair as her eyes fluttered open, the pools of glowing silver meeting my gaze. She gave a small smile and she held me closer, which I hadn't thought possible.

"Good morning, did you have pleasant dreams?"

She let out a contended sigh as she buried her face in my chest. "Of course, but the reality is so much better." She continued to stare at me, grinning. "I hope I didn't keep you up all night."

I laughed at the joke. "You did, but I enjoyed every minute of it." She crawled up and we kissed tenderly, something I don't think I could ever get enough of. "I hate to get all medical on you, but how are you feeling?"

She nuzzled into my neck, her arms still holding onto me tightly. "I'm feeling fine Alex; I don't seem to have a fever." She finally let go, sitting upright and staring down at me. "You might be a good kisser, but you're not about to send me to the hospital."

I looked at her, soaking in her beauty. "We'll see about that, but I think you should be getting dressed soon. We still got our duties after all."

She blushed, looking down at her rumpled dress. "Back into the suit I guess." She sighed heavily. "It was nice while it lasted."

I moved next to her, wrapping my arms around her waist. "Well, if you're not feeling sick, we can always do this again."

Her eyes lit up. "Tonight?"

I laughed, nuzzling the shoulder. "No, you've got poker night with Gabby and Ken, remember?"

"I can always cancel."

I shook my head, still unable to stop smiling. "I've created a monster. It's a good thing nothing more happened; we'd be missing for days." I stood up. "I better get back to my place to change. Also I can't be too sure my moral strength will hold out too much long."

She stood up, kissing me again. "You don't have to be strong all the time, and I could use some help with my suit."

"Tali, if I helped you change, you'd never make it into the suit." I returned the kiss. "Soon Tali, I promise." I slipped away, her heart racing at my words as I slipped into the decontamination chamber, and into the hall way.

Shepard was outside the door, his arms crossed and looking very surly. I recalled the conversation yesterday, and realized how it looked. "I didn't lie to you, sir. Tali and I cuddled, that's all."

He eyed me closely, and then relaxed. "I believe you Jameson, but it's also not my business. EDI informed me you were not in your room, but wouldn't specify your location. She only does that when she wants to protect someone's privacy. I need to talk to you."

I nodded, letting him continue to speak. "I want you to come down to the surface. I know you don't have full control of your powers, but you're still trained as an infiltrator, and that's what we need."

"What's going on, boss?"

"The talks are breaking down; the Ganar Clan is opposing Wrex, calling him weak for working with other races."

"Ganar, like Ganar Wrang? The blood pack leader?"

"Yes. He's claiming to have a cure for the genophage and will only use it if the other clans unite behind him as their leader. I had EDI hack their networks, and he's been communicating with someone on an altered Turian signal?"

Something clicked in my head. "You think the reapers are behind this." I wasn't asking.

"We don't know, but we've discovered a secret meeting taking place in the proving grounds. You and Thane will be doing recon. Find out who he's meeting, but don't engage them. We need evidence to show during the crush."

"Understood Commander."

A few hours had passed, Shepard's team had departed the transport onto the barren surface, the ship entering the atmosphere, seemingly leaving orbit to return to the Normandy. Instead we engaged the stealth systems and scanned the area of the proving grounds, landing when no one would notice our presence. As the ship went to return to the ship, we had situated ourselves in the rubble, well hidden from anyone's view. All we had to do was wait for the Blood Pack to arrive.

I looked out on the crater marked ruined city, wondering whether it had been beautiful before the Krogan bombed it and the rest of the planet into a Nuclear winter. I tried to imagine lush forests and running waterfalls, but it didn't seem to fit in this land filled with radiation and death. I couldn't imagine a more perfect world for the war-loving reptilians.

Thane seemed to be sharing my thoughts. "A waste, nothing left of this world."

"Yeah, make me wonder if humans would have been like this if they didn't find those ruins on Mars."

I couldn't tell, but he seemed to smile slightly. "Yes, your species was fortunate." His voice was remorseful, and I remember the Drell's home planet had been destroyed by over population and war. It was like Tuchanka, except that there was no hope for Thane's world of recovering. It was barren; lifeless. It was only by the interference of the Hanar that the race still existed, taking thousands of refugees to their planet.

"Sorry."

Thane shook his head "No need to apologize, Kahje is my people's home now." He turned to me "We are much alike, the place we once called home is gone, but found one in the universe."

I nodded slowly. "Yeah, I'll always miss earth, my earth rather. But I don't think I could imagine being anywhere else besides the Normandy."

He nodded, his breathing labored. I frowned, not remembering it being so bad. "It's getting worse isn't it?"

He patted my shoulder "Be at ease, young one. There is still time left to finish the task at hand."

"Not what I meant but remind me to look at Kepral Syndrome when we get back to the ship." I fidgeted "How long has it been? They should be here by now."

"The meeting was supposed to take place 5 minutes ago. Something is not right." Thane crouched low and looked out over the meeting place.

A shot rang out from in the distance, blood splashing from Thane's chest. I took out my sniper gun as a second shot zinged past my ear. I could see the Vorcha in the distance, taking aim and firing, his head exploded and from the blowback I could see the insignia of the blood fist. There was no meeting, there was only a trap.

I moved to the Drell's body, a gurgling noise coming from under his mask. I ripped it off to let him breathe using the medigel to patch the gaping wound in his chest. It was a temporary fix; I needed to get him to the ship. Before I could call the Normandy, the sound of machinery of the keystone screeched to life, and a growling voice came from the speakers.

"If you manage to survive my sneak attack, I commend your strength, but I can't risk you leaving, Shepard. Clan Ganar will become the rulers of Krogan. Die well"

The impact in the ground was massive, and I could hear the sound of something digging its way toward us. I picked up Thane and ran toward the raised platform. This had been a trap for Shepard, a way to lure him away from the talks and weaken Wrex at the same time. Only it had backfired partially.

There was no time to worry about Krogan Politics. Thane was still coughing up blood and unable to fight what was coming. I tucked him away in a small niche in the rubble and moved far a distance away. The transport wouldn't be able to make it down to the surface until I dealt with what was coming, and signaling now would only put them at risk. I could feel the rumbling grow as I drew my sub machine gun. I needed to distract the beast, and pray that emotional distress was really the trigger.

The earth erupted in front of me, a serpentine body standing 30 feet above me. Its bulbous head pulsed, deadly pinchers, and acid drooling maw made this the most dangerous beast on Tuchanka, the Thresher Maw. To prove yourself worthy of Urdnot, you had to last 5 minutes against it. From the bodies that littered the ground, it was more difficult than most realized. But I didn't have the luxury of time. I had to kill it if I wanted to save Thane.

I fired in short bursts, drawing its attention to me, the beast reared back and I dived behind a tower. The impact of the acid attack shattered the cover and I scrambled out. I focused my biotics, pulling my hand back and launching a throw field at the beast with as much energy I could muster. The blue energy rippled and sailed toward the head of the beast, but failed to do more than enrage the serpent.

It spit again and I dove to the side, a smoking hole where I had been moments before. It dived under the ground; tossing dust at it dug its way to my left. I wasn't doing enough damage; I had never been in combat since the change. I only had this one chance to get this right.

I shut my eyes, letting the energy pulse through me, but I couldn't call on that deeper power I had felt. I tried to relive the embarrassment of the events of yesterday but still it wasn't enough. I opened my eyes as the beast burst forth roaring it's never ending desire to feed. Guns wouldn't be enough to stop it, my biotic power was useless, and thane was going to die….

No…

Cold determination pulsed in my veins, and that secret energy surged through my body, like a tidal wave it slammed into me. It wasn't stress alone that triggered my power, it was my desire to be stronger, to protect my friends, and I was maintaining it without losing concentration on the beast in front of me. I was in control at last.

Another glob of acid was flying toward me, but I wasn't running anymore. With a wave of my hand I commanded a boulder to rise in the air between me and the projectile. The melting rock fell to the ground. With a cry of bloodlust I ran forward, becoming a blur of black and red to the eyes of the beast.

I concentrated my energy into my feet and leapt forward, toward my prey. I shot up like a bullet, landing on its bulbous head. I raised my hand and summoned the energy blade, this time it didn't fade in and out of existence, but glowed white hot. I slammed it down, the Thresher now wailing in pain and thrashing through the air. Losing my balance I started sliding down its back, conjuring another blade and thrusting it into its flesh. My descent slowed as I ripped through the serpent's body. I stumbled away as it fell back into black abyss it had crawled from. The ground was silent, it was over.

The energy seeped back as I ran to Thane. He hadn't been hurt in the assault, but his breathing was shallow. I grabbed his communicator. "Normandy, emergency evacuation! Need medical team! Man down! Man down!"

Everyone not on duty was in the mess hall. Everyone had liked the Drell, despite the knowledge that he was the world's deadliest assassin. Shepard was informed at once and was back on the ship. Ganar Wrang had been very surprised that Shepard had actually arrived to the meeting, but still trying to take advantage, calling Urdnot weak for letting the humans weep over the dying.

Hours had passed, and no one spoke. Chakwas ordered everyone out before she began surgery. The bullet and punctured his lung, missing his heart by inches. She said I got him back just in time, but I didn't feel so lucky. If I had been paying attention, listening as I could have and should have been, then I might have stopped that sniper in time.

The door opened and the doctor came out, looking grim. Shepard and I both stood before the others. _Please let it be good news._

"I did what I could, patching his lungs and injuries. But…" She looked back "The exposure to the air and the blood in his lung accelerated the deterioration. He has only a few days left before…"

My insides had melted away. The bullet wasn't going to kill him, but the Kepral's Syndrome was making his lungs cease to function. He was going to suffocate slowly.

"No…"

They turned to me but I was already leaving. I made my way to Mordin's lab, accessing his Salarian Special Tasks Groups data base and every data file on Drell's and the disease. I wasn't going to give up, and I still I had a few days to pull it off.

If I could kill a thresher maw single handedly, then I could save my former teacher.

Two days had passed, no one bothered to stop me from working, but no one was helping. I didn't bother blocking any noise out, the tears for the man they were giving up for dead, or whispers about my sanity. Mordin was in the med lab, trying to make Thane comfortable, while I was trying to save him.

Data spilled over the screen, thousands of image flashing into my brain. I absorbed it all, my hands flying over the keys. I had tested hundreds of simulations, all of them a failure. I didn't need genetic adaption to moisture, I need a _cure._ I was on the verge of a break through, I could feel it. I adjusted the variables, changing the chemicals and running it again.

I heard her enter behind me, but I didn't turn away from the screen. Another failure; another adjustment. I ran the simulation again as her hand touched my shoulder.

"I'm not stopping Tali, I can save him." The simulation lasted longer….then flashing red words crossed the screen. I swore loudly, pounding my fist into metal desk, leaving another dent in it. I adjusted and ran them again.

"Alex, you know he's asking for you. This wasn't your fault." Her voice cracked, and I knew she was crying.

I shook my head, not daring to look at her "I can't. I'm close, I almost…DAMN IT!" My outburst made her step back, but I ignored it, and tried again. "It is my fault Tali, I'm supposed to have this awesome power, and I was in charge of the mission."

She took hold of my face and forced me to look into her eyes. They were swimming with tears "Alex, you're still only human, no matter how much you've changed. He…he doesn't have much time left. Please, stop hiding from your pain so you can let go."

I faltered, punching in the last test run and sighing. I stood up and hugged Tali, the grief spilling out at once, the pain of everything. "Okay." I left the room with her, leaving the fruitless research behind.

Tali held my hand as I made my way to his bed. He was taking deep breaths, his skin a sickly pale green, but he smiled at me. "Thought…you weren't…coming down."

"Thane, I'm sorry."

He laughed weakly, cough. "No regrets, Jameson. I've taught you what I could, and you were an excellent student." He wheezed "I've made my peace with this world. You have nothing to be sorry for. It is just my time."

He reached out, and I took his hand. "Of all my teacher's Thane, you were my favorite. You taught me to fight with what I have and what I could get. I won't forget those teachings, and I'll use them to make the Blood Pack pay."

His breaths were quieter his breathing more shallow. "Don't act on hate, Alex. Use my skills well…" His body relaxed, his hand slipping from mine. He was gone.

My voice was thick as the tears rolled down my cheek. "Kalihira, guide this soul to the afterlife, may he find the redemption he sought in your loving embrace."


	21. 20: Vengence

Vengeance

"He hasn't been out of his room since…it's been two days, Shepard. He says he's fine, but I'm worried."

"I know Tali, he's taking it hard, but he's strong. He'll pull through this if we give him time."

"I know, but I wish he would just talk to me about it."

I listened to the two conversing in the engineering room. Two days since Thane's death, and things had only gotten worse. Ganar Wrang used the events in the proving grounds to his advantage, claiming that Shepard had tried to lure him away to kill him, and not only failed to trick the krogan, but lost a man in the process. He called us weak, and Wrex even weaker for wanting to work with other races. The Blood Pack's leader was rallying more clans to him; even the most loyal to Urdnot were now reconsidering their loyalties.

I heard Ashley speak up. "Commander, maybe we should just go in and make him snap out of it. I know this is personal but…a crewmember swears they saw him sneaking out of Thane's room, carrying something and heading to the elevator."

"I know. I've already spoken to Alex. It was one of Thane's Jackets. He says he needed it for tribute to Thane, but wouldn't say anything else."

"Probably got some weird shrine built in there. I've been reports of Alex asking crew for sewing equipment and materials. I don't even want to know what he's making in there."

"That's enough Ash. We've lost a team mate, and a friend, but we can't start tearing into one another. Considering what happened afterwards, can you blame him for being so upset?"

I flinched, the memory still raw. Tali and I had come back to Mordin's lab to clean up the mess I had made; scattered datapads and empty cups and plates littered my desk. I swallowed the bile in my throat as I remember the bright green light from my terminal, the words "Viable solution" flashing up at me, mocking my pain. I had found may have found the cure, but it was too late. I forced myself to forward the data to Cerberus research and then to the Hanar government. If it hadn't been for Tali, I might have lost myself to the pain and grief instead of using it as I was now."

"Sorry Skipper…. Has anyone told Kolyat?"

There was a sigh "I told him what happened. He was pretty torn up; they'd just begun to patch things up and now…" There was a brief silence. "He's on a shuttle to Kahje, preparing for the funeral."

Tali's voice quivered; she had been crying again. I closed my eyes, wishing I could hold her and comfort her, but I had made Thane a promise. I continued to work as she spoke. "When will we be departing, Shepard?"

"With the way things are, I don't know. We aren't helping Wrex's Clan by staying, but if we leave, Ganar will accuse us of cowardice and strengthen his hold on Tuchanka."

Flames of rage, licked up inside me, threatening to consume me. Ganar Wrang, the bastard behind the trap, the man behind the sniper. I wanted to tear him limb from limb, crush him in a biotic field until he was nothing more than a stain stone ground. No, I can't think about that now, I needed to remain in control; for now.

The others were now discussing strategy to win the Krogan away from the Blood Pack's influence. I examined my project, my tribute to my teacher. He had tried to teach me to become invisible without a cloak, that the art of deception was better than any rifle when it came to taking down a target. He had been a good assassin, but it was his name, his legendary status among the people, that gave him the most power over his targets. I planned to put the lessons to good use now, and my legend would begin with the fall of Wrang.

I was learning my limitations; I could read up on everything I knew about sewing and stitching, but I was still a beginner when it came to actually putting it to practical use. The scattered fabric scattered around my desk were evidence of that. I walked over to Thane's coat, comparing the one in my hand to his. It was a near perfect match, resized to fit over my larger frame. With a ghost of a smile, I threw it on; there was no restriction to my movements. Pleased, I made my way to my door, stepping out and heading to the elevator.

They were still by the drive core as I stepped onto the engineering deck. I made my way past Ken and Gabby, noting the shock look on their faces. I could see them huddled together, deep in discussions, and it was only when I was half way to them that Tali noticed me.

"Keelah…"

Shepard and Ash turned to me, both with a look of shock on their faces. Good, I wanted that reaction. I walked forward, Tali meeting me half way. I wrapped my arms around her, kissing her neck softly as we embraced. I pulled away, smiling to show her I was okay. I then turned to the others.

"Sorry about my absence, but as you can see, I needed to update my wardrobe, and to make some plans." I stood up straight. "I'm coming with you to the crush tomorrow. I want to see Ganar Wrang in person."

Ash stepped forward "What are you planning to do if you go?"

I cracked a grin. "I'm going to pick a fight."

The Krogan burial ground; the land was scarred with thousands of markers, headstones and skeletons that seemed to go on forever. I had been allowed to take Miranda's place at the meeting after swearing I wasn't going to kill Wrang. I stood next to Grunt, behind Shepard, watching the other clan's leaders arrive. Some came to stand with Wrex, but even more were standing beside a krogan dressed in expensive looking armor. This had to be the leader the Ganar, and the one I was going to exact my vengeance on. He glanced at me then turned away, speaking to Wrex and everyone else.

"What's this, Urdnot? You bring another human to our talks? Where is the female, does she have the cold? Or is she busy crying over their foolish dead?" The krogan beside him laughed and the beast inside me flared up. I took deep breaths, saying nothing and keeping my hand off my hand gun.

Wrex spoke in his deep tone, lying with the finesse that almost made me believe him. "The human is part of the science team working on a cure for the genophage, Wrang. He wished to present his findings." The Urdnot were in on why I was here, but I was the only one who knew the entire plan. The first step was to bring the conversation to the Genophage.

I stepped forward. "That's correct, my colleagues and myself have made great leaps and bounds in curing the genophage. We believe increase the rate of live births by half…"

Wrang laughed, taking the bait "Half?! Why should the krogan follow a leader who can only promise half? Clan Ganar has the true cure! Follow me and you'll see your progeny will cover all worlds!"

I smirked "You have the cure? Let's see it, then"

He turned to me. "Why should I show anything to a weak human?"

I stepped forward. "I'm prepared to share my findings, to prove my claim. Where is your proof, other than a word of a Krogan who hits females?"

There was a hush from the larger group. Fertile females were the most valuable commodity to the Krogan, to strike one was a serious crime. I could see on Wrang's face that my mudslinging had hit a nerve; good. "My clan welcomed me back from exile with honor heaped on my name!"

I took another step. "What honor? What did you do to atone? Were you stronger, or was it better equipment? Did your credits by your forgiveness?"

He growled and stepped forward. "Were it not for the crush, I would tear your head off human. Who are you to judge me?"

I grinned; Time to put the heat on. "I'm the one you were too afraid to face in the proving grounds. I'm also the one who's going to kill you."

At, those words, Grunt and Shepard pulled me back, a tight grip on my hands to keep me from reaching for a weapon. They needn't bother. The krogan looked smug, but his hand twitched toward his shotgun. "See the deception of the Urdnot? They try once more to kill one of us while under the banner of peace!"

I shrugged off the grip on me, looking at Shepard in a way to convey I wasn't going to attack. I turned back to the Krogan. "Actually we were the ones lured into a trap. It was clever of you, creating fake transmissions to make it appear you were in league with the reapers, though if you did you would already have the cure you claim to have. You attempted to break treaty, but all you did was piss me off. But what should I expect from someone who doesn't have the quad to kill his enemies himself." I turned to the group. "He doesn't have a cure. If he did, he would have used it on his clan by now and crushed any resistance. Instead he bleats like a sheep, using promises he can't keep, like a citadel politician. Weak words." I spit at the ground, showing my disgust.

Wrang stepped forward, staring me down. "You call me weak?! I was crushed stronger enemies than you and I will make you beg for death!"

I looked into his wide set eyes. "Do it then. Reach for your gun; you'll be dead before you squeeze the trigger." I wanted to do it now, my rage screamed for me to just kill him now, but instead I held my ground, waiting for him to make the next move.

My foe laughed. "Why should I do that, human? I come to unite our people; I won't break under the words of a man who walks into traps. You are a waste of skin, and you should have died right alongside with that frog …"

I didn't let him finish his sentence. I reared my head back and slammed it into the horned head. There was a dramatic cracking sound, but it wasn't coming from my skull. He stumbled and fell over himself, staring at me in shock. I stood over him and spoke in a cold anger.

"His name was Thane Krios, and he was my battlemaster. You will respect that or I'll gut you right now like I did that Thresher Maw." I took a step back and let him get to his feet, listening to the muttering throughout the crowd.

"Did you see that? He knocked him down in one blow."

"_He _killed that Thresher?"

I wasn't the only one listening to the muttering, Wrang stood up. "I demand he be removed from the crush at once. He has attacked me on sacred ground!"

Wrex spoke clearly "If you think getting knocked on your ass for disrespecting the dead is an attack, remove him yourself. He's made it clear he wants to kill you, but a head butt does not violate our laws. When he draws his weapon or he orders anyone else to do so, then and only then he will be in violation."

I took a stepped back. "You whine like an Asari, Wrang. Even your skull is as soft as your words. Perhaps you'd like some ice for your head." I got scattered laughter as the Ganar leader slunk back to his position. "Perhaps we can should stop for lunch, Wrex, let everyone eat and think on the words today."

Wrex nodded and looked to the others "We have prepared a feast of Thresher Steaks and Ryncol for the honored leaders of each tribe if they wish to join us. We will reconvene in two hours."

I walked back to Shepard as the Krogan walked back to their vehicles. Grunt and Wrex were pleased, but Shepard was stern. "What are you playing at, Alex? Were you trying to get yourself killed?"

I laughed "Shepard, I had Wrang sized up the moment I saw him. He's a coward, hiding behind fancy tech and hired goons. He wasn't going to draw his gun and risk getting killed in the process."

Wrex smirked "Not bad kid, you pushed him in the corner and showed the others that you are stronger than you appear."

Shepard turned to the Krogan Battlemaster and back to me, finally realizing my plan. "You wanted to embarrass him in front of the others?"

I smirked and headed to the transport "I'm going to impress have a big mug of Ryncol and then entertain the guests with a visual of how I killed the thresher. I imagine we'll have a more support from the other clans after lunch."

It was going better than I expected. I impressed the Krogans, not only by drinking alcohol that would kill a normal human in a slow and painful manner, but by showing off my abilities. The leaders who chose to come to the feast hung on my words as I told them the battle in the proving grounds, and were awed when I showed them my energy blades. When we returned to the crush, many were now standing beside Wrex, showing where their loyalties currently rested.

The meeting's end, Wrang was ready to gut me. I guessed the few clans who had remained in his pocket and told him about my abilities, because he kept his distance. When we returned to the Urdnot camp I was ready for the next step, but I had something I had to do first.

I made some purchases while in camp, having them crated with a little note inside for Tali, apologizing for how I had acted, and explaining what I was planning. She deserved the truth, and to know that I loved her no matter what. I was putting the package on the transport as Shepard and Grunt were showing up.

Grunt slapped me on the back, laughing "Nice work, kid. Did you see him run off, too scared to actually try and kill you. Ha!"

I grinned solemnly "I'm going to give him a chance." I turned to Shepard "I'm going to stay here on the surface, Commander."

He looked at me warily. "Jameson whatever you're planning, you've done enough." He put his hand on my shoulder. "Thane wouldn't want you risking your life for revenge, and neither would Tali. You've put the talks back in our favor, just let it go."

I shook my head. "I can't, not yet. I promise I won't go looking for trouble tonight, but for what I...what we need, I need to stay here. Trust me commander." He nodded slowly. "Thank you, and now I need to ask a big favor. I'm a little embarrassed to ask."

"What's up Alex?"

"There's a package for Tali in the transport, so if you can see that she gets it." I blushed a little, shaking it off and handing him a datapad. "Also, I need this delivered too. Don't tell anyone about this one though."

He looked over the datapad and grinned. "I can see why. Don't worry, your secret's safe with me."

I punched his shoulder "Thanks commander, tell Tali I'll be returning to the ship tomorrow if things go well. God knows I'll need a shower."

Grunt sighed "You're going to have all the fun down here. Just save some for me." I laughed as they both got onto the transport. I watched them take off up the long missile shaft before I turned around to pick up some camping supplies from the market.

It was a moonless night, and if I still had my old eyes, I wouldn't have been able to see past my campfire. Enhanced as I was, my vision and hearing were my best allies tonight. I was given a ride out into the desert lands, a few miles away from the burial grounds. The driver warned me to keep an eye on predators, but I laughed, saying they should keep an eye out for me. I set up camp, fixed a meal, and listened to the world around me.

I had made it no secret where I was going, only my agenda. To the public eye, I was going to go hunting the natural predators of Tuchanka. In reality I was letting the unnatural ones come to me. After I few hours, I could hear them just a mile away, spying on my. The snarling growls of their speech, the way they crawled about the sand, I swore I could even smell them. Ganar Wrang had sent his Vorcha, exactly what I wanted. I pretended to yawn, leaving my campfire lit and crawling into the tent. I stretched out on the cot, lying as though asleep.

They scrambled closer to my campsite, trying to get a better look to see when I was most vulnerable, no doubt. Two of them, and I felt slightly insulted that their leader thought four of them would be enough. They were no having a whispered argument.

"Let'ssss use the rocketssss. Blow him to bitty piecesssss!" The first voice hissed, making him sound like a snake that had learned to talk.

"No, boss wants it to look like accident. Knivesssss only!"

This was going to be fun. It was hard to hide my grin as they shuffled closer, taking their time. I was sure it was just before dawn when they finally reached the camp. I shifted and sighed, keeping my act up, silently giggling as they scrambled back a few feet. When they thought it was safe, they slowly opened the tent and slipped inside.

It was now very cramped inside, and the heat of all the bodies made it a little stuffy. I waited, hearing them slide their knives from their belts. Time for some more fun. I sighed softly "ahh Ganar, why do you hate me? I just want to hold you."

They panicked again but one of them, the leader whispered "Humanssss talk in their sleep!"

"He dreamsssss about Ganar?"

"Kill him before he saysssss anything else"

I snapped my eyes open. "Aww, I love you guys too." With smallest effort, I brought my hand around, creating an energy blade and beheading two of the filthy creatures. One screamed and scrambled out of the tent, the other much braver and swinging his knife at my throat. Ash's hand to hand combat training kicked in, and I grabbed its wrist, twisting it and slamming the blade into his chest using little of my own energy.

I slipped out of the tent, looking for the last Vorcha. When I spotted him, he had run to a small cache of weapons left by his now dead buddies. He certainly seemed braver with a missile launcher in his hands. I grinned and folded my arms around my chest. He growled and pulled the trigger, but I was too fast for and before the projectile had even impacted with my tent, I was on the Vorcha, removing its head with slash of my conjured weapon. The fire and smoke of my camp could be seen just as sun broke over the dunes. I rummage through the dead creatures belongings, finding what I was looking for. I smirked and clicked the radio. Wrang was waiting for the call.

"Yes, is it done?"

I controlled my muscles in my throat, growling and spitting like a Vorcha "yesssss. Blew him to little bitssss!"

"Idiots! No matter, return to base, I'll deal with your failure later." He clicked off and I laughed, grabbing what remained of my belongings from the camp, bagging up the Vorcha head and ripping off the Blood back insignia on the armor and walking toward the meeting area.

It had planned my route carefully, so that I could hear but not be seen. I could hear them shuffling about, waiting for Ganar. When my enemy finally arrived, I was coming over the hill behind him when boasted loudly.

"Where is the human who dared insult me? Does he have a belly ache or was he all talk?"

I was instantly behind him, tossing the Vorcha head and insignia by his feet as I passed. I didn't even bother to look at his reaction as I continued walking. "Next time send more than four, Wrang."

There was more muttering as the Blood Pack leader tried to cover his ass. "I did not order Vorcha to attack you. They must have acted on their own."

It was better than a confession. I turned to him "So they acted on their own? Can't you control your own men?" I grinned at his discomfort, acting on his mistake in words. I played to the crowd. "If you can't control the dumbest and weakest of your men, how can you expect to lead the Krogan to glory and power?" There was a roar of cheering from Wrex's side at my words. I grinned and walked over to stand behind Shepard and Grunt.

The meeting went the same as the day before, but this time Wrang was less confident, his eyes darting to me whenever he made a boast or promise. I didn't bother to say anything; Grunt and the other Krogans on Urdnot's side were tearing into him for me. By the end of the day, He had only enough followers to keep his hope for power above water, but tomorrow I was going to end the games and finish him off.

The flight back to the ship was a pleasant one. I let Shepard and Grunt into what happened the night before and I went along with the pretense of a strategy to win the rest of the clans over. My plan made it all pointless, since there would be no more opposition before the meeting ended. I had gotten the location of the Ganar base from the Urdnot Scout Leader, and informed Wrex of what I needed to end the meetings tomorrow. I was ready to bring the final phase of the plan into action.

As the shipped docked, EDI popped up on the nearby terminal "Alex, Tali has requested you speak with her at her private quarters."

I chuckled. "Okay, let her know I'll see her in 20 minutes." I wanted to take a shower; I had sand in every crevice of my clothing and body.

"She said she wanted to speak with you immediately."

I didn't like the sound of that. I nodded and headed to the private quarters, wondering how mad she was. Was she planning to talk me out of my plan or was she upset about the favor I'd asked of Shepard? When I reached the contamination chamber, I used the intercom, having 5 minutes before I could talk to her face to face.

"You wanted to see me Tali?"

There was a pause. "Yes, I've been meaning to talk to you about your little package."

I grimaced, but played dumb. "I was hoping circuit boards were the quarian equivalent of roses."

"No, that was very sweet of you Alex. I meant the other package; the one Shepard delivered for Chakwas."

Damn. "Tali, I wasn't saying it needed to be used now. I just wanted to let you know that I'm ready."

"You could have just said that."

I sighed "I'm sorry, the antiseptic and herbal supplements were not the best way to discuss this."

"Why have you been avoiding me?" There was a plea in her voice. "You promised you wouldn't anymore. I could have helped you."

I flinched. "I wasn't avoiding you Tali. This is something I wanted to do on my own, for Thane. I couldn't save him, but I wanted to make his killer pay, by my hands."

"So you think you can be gone two days, playing cat and mouse with the Krogan, and then come up here and have your way with me?"

My stomach lurched. "Tali, no, that's not what I meant. Shit, I'm just making an ass of myself lately. I-"

The door slid open, and a hand pulled me inside. It was dark inside, lit only by dozens of candle-like lights that dotted the room. Before I could take in anything more in I was pinned to the wall and a pair of lips mashed roughly into mine. I returned the kiss with the same hunger and passion as she locked the door.

"Did I say it was a bad idea?"

I chuckled and touched her face, taking notice of her attire. She was wearing a black silk chemise that wrapped around her form perfectly. "Hmmm, where did this come from, and who do I thank?"

She laughed, pulling my jacket off my body. "Ashley made it for me. You wouldn't think she was a seamstress, but when Shepard told her about your "favor", she went to work." She pressed her body to mine, kissing me again.

My head was spinning as I wrapped my arms around her. "Tali, I'm absolutely filthy…"

"You won't get me sick."

I laughed, "Actually I was thinking I should probably take a shower so I don't ruin your lingerie"

She growled with passion. "I'm not planning to wear it for long." I wondered what happened to the nervous girl that stumbled over her words when it had been just a video game.

I pulled her away and looked into her glowing eyes. "Tali, why the rush?"

She stopped, her fire and passion faltering. "I-I missed you Alex, not just while you were gone. She looked down at the ground, on the verge of crying. "I thought you were going to forget me after…" I reached out and held her, her grip tightening on me. "I don't want to lose you."

I closed my eyes, nuzzling her cheek. "You won't Tali. Not to Wrang, not to revenge, not to anything." I kissed her again, brushing away her tears. "I love you, Tali`Zorah Vas Normandy. You are my heart, my soul, and my strength. You don't have to give me anything but your love to keep me at your side."

"I-I'm ready Alex. I want to be with you tonight."

I kissed her passionately. "You wish is my command" I pulled away "But first, a shower." I grinned and winked. "You're welcome to join me, of course." She blushed, but was following me, our clothes being forgotten as they fell to the floor.

It was like I had never known what love and passion were until that night. Every caress with like hot electricity and neither one of us wanted to stop. It was early morning before she finally collapsed from exhaustion, and I wasn't too far behind her. I envied her as she slept in my arms, our bodies intertwined. I held her close, listening to her slow, even breathing.

The time passed quickly and soon it was time for me to leave. I tried to extract myself from my lover without waking her, but her grip on me tightened. With a sigh, I gently woke her. "Tali, I have to go, love."

"No…" She sighed but loosened her grip enough for me to slide free. I kissed her forehead and picked up my clothing. I dressed slowly, not concerned about the dirt; I was going to be getting a lot dirtier before the day was done. I made my way to the door when I heard her shift to sit up.

"Alex, promise me something."

I turned to her, smiling as I drank in her beautiful body. "What?"

"Don't kill him. It's not worth it."

I shook my head "I can't promise that. I'm sorry, my love, but please, trust me that what I do will be for the best for everyone. And remember I love you, always." I turned and headed out to the ship, not daring to look back and lose my resolve.

I didn't bother arming myself, but headed down to the transport. Grunt looked disappointed that I didn't look like I was ready for combat, but he nodded to me as he stepped into the Kodiak. Shepard was more thoughtful, knowing that I was planning something, even if he didn't know what.

Wrex was waiting for us as we arrived. He nodded to Shepard "We've called for a delay in the meeting." He turned to me. "You were right, he practically pissed himself."

I grinned "Good, I'm going to pay Wrang a visit."

Shepard looked at me "What are you planning, Alex?"

I winked "Wrex will fill you in. Listen for the signal on my communicator, and then have all the clans get together." I slipped away, grabbing a small four wheel vehicle and driving out in to the endless sand, following the coordinates I punched into my radar.

The Ganar clan's base was a massive bomb shelter. I pulled up to the outside hangar; the Vorcha guards were armed with assault rifles and heavy pistols. I hacked into their communication system, forwarding the frequency to Urdnot. Hitting a few more keys on my Omni-tool, I stepped out and approached the doors, my hands in the air.

"What you wantssss?" The guard spit and snarled

"I've come to speak to Wrang. I am unarmed and come in peace." My tone was even and calm and I remained relaxed as the Vorcha scanned me for weapons, and then called his boss.

"The human wantssss to talk. Scanssss show no weaponssss." Through their communication lines, I could hear Wrang's reply.

"Good, kill him. We'll plant one on his corpse later."

The two Vorcha turned to me, but I was ready. I grabbed the heavy pistols from their holsters and planted a bullet into their skulls before they realized what happened. Alarms blared and I waved at the camera, knowing that the Blood Pack's leader was watching. I hacked the locks, and cloaked before the door opened.

I slid behind a pile a crates and opened fire on the small army blocking my path forward. I felled one of the Blood Pack soldiers, the splash of orange blood from his head wound gushing where the krogan fell. I ducked back down, fiddling with the ammo configuration as a hail of gunfire riddled my cover. I inched out from the side and firing on a Vorcha with a flame thrower. The inferno ammo caused the wretched creature to burst into flames, making the others panic in terror as the gas pack exploded.

I rolled over the crates and moved to the next cover, firing anything that moved. The thick smell of burning flesh in the air as my enemies fell around me. I picked up heat sinks and a wicked looking dagger from one of the corpses as I moved forward, my path to Wrang made clear by where the guards were stationed. He had called his men to throw themselves between me and him, as I had wanted him to. Soon enough I dropped the last of the resistance and opened the door to his hiding spot.

Wrang was ready, and I managed to roll out of the way as his claymore shotgun put a massive hole in the wall I had been standing behind. I tossed one of the guns away; tuck the other into custom holster that lined my jacket as I moved forward. He had just loaded the next shot when I grabbed the gun, pulling it and him forward and into my knee, sinking it into his gut. I yanked the claymore from his hand as he buckled, then stomped my boot into his knee with a satisfying crunch.

I towered over the unarmed and beaten Krogan, and then pulled the knife from my belt. I kneeled down and placed it at the pointed end in on his crest, the resulting screams was what I was looking for. I waited a moment while he squirmed helplessly and pulled it away. The Ganar leader seemed a little braver as I stood and walked to his desk.

"Go ahead, kill me Human. You will only strengthen my clans hold on Tuchanka. My replacement will make sure that all will know that Urdnot broke the treaty." He grinned sadistically as he stood up, his regenerative powers making his knee strong enough to support his weight.

I shook my head. "You broke treaty, I came to talk in peace, and I was unarmed." I punched a few keys on the desk, and spoke into the microphone. "Right, Wrex?"

The Urdnot leader's voice boomed. "Wrang, you should really have gotten better firewalls. The clan leaders heard every word of your communications, including the order to kill an unarmed human who came in the name of peace. We also got some nice security vids of you squealing like a varren."

I watched the Krogans face as it dawned on him what this all meant. I decided to add more salt to the wounds. "You're security was pathetic, I didn't even have to use any biotics to get up here. I didn't even break a sweat, when I smashed you into the dirt. You're pathetic, Wrang, and you're not worth killing." I removed the pistol and placed it on his desk; there was one shot left. I kept Holstered the Claymore and turned my back, leaving the next move to Wrang, and putting my faith in myself.

The shot rang out, the bullet shattering my barrier shield and striking me in the back of the head. I saw white stars and stumbled. I shook it off and stood up, turning to the horrified Wrang.

"Who the hell are you human?"

I grinned and let the power flare, my vein tattoos and eyes glowing in cerulean light. "I am no mere human." I raised my hand, lifting him in the air and slamming him in the ceiling. "I am an Ascended! The phoenix reborn from shadowed flames!" I slammed him into the ground and then into the walls. "I am the unstoppable hand of justice, a beacon of hope to those who are preyed on by the cruel!" I dropped my hands, the battered krogan landing at my feet. I conjured an energy blade, placing it at the center of his chest. "And you are still unworthy of dying by my hands." I gave him a hard kick in the ribs and walked away, my revenge complete.

It always rains on Kahje. On a small island on, the crew of the Normandy said farewell to a fallen comrade. Thane had once said not many would mourn his passing, but as I looked around, I was glad to see he was mistaken. I looked to his son, Kolyat, who silently watched as they laid his father to rest in the depths of the ocean, tears running down his skin. Shepard was beside him, a man who showed no emotion except for the distant look in his eyes. And all around were the jellyfish race, the Hanar. They spoke highly of the Drell, wishing him safe passage to the embrace of the Enkindlers. As I held onto Tali, I wished him the same.

It was a beautiful service, fitting for a man who spent the last year trying to redeem his past actions and make the galaxy better than he entered it. We all made our way back to the Normandy, which was floating just above the water on the other end of the island. I had embraced Kolyat as a brother and joined Shepard on the walk back.

"EDI just sent word from Tuchanka. Wrang has been exiled again for breaking the Crush. He is now fighting to control the Blood Pack after vids of you thoroughly beating him popped up on the extranet. It's a civil war with commanders fighting one another for dominance.

I smirked. "Everyone was so concerned with me killing him, but Thane didn't want me to give into that hate. It was his last request. I couldn't betray that"

Shepard looked at me from the corner of his eye. "And if he hadn't?"

I shrugged "I don't know. I liked this outcome, stripping him of everything."

He chuckled "You're a legend among the Krogan, and your face is plastered on the extranet. They call you "The Shadow Phoenix". Was that part of your plan?"

"Everything but the name. I don't care what they call me, all that matters is that those who would hurt the innocent know that I am out there; ready to bring them to justice." I grinned and looked at Shepard. "Deception and Theatricality are powerful weapons."

He laughed and slapped me on the back "Well it worked. Tuchanka is united under Urdnot, and I believe you have quite a few requests for breeding to turn down." He followed my gaze to where Tali was waiting for us. "Well, most requests anyway."

I punched his shoulder. "Mind your own business." I rushed ahead, smiling as I approached the quarian. I hugged her close and looked at her. "How's the fever?"

She took my hand as we walked. "It I think it broke. I'm feeling much better." Her eyes twinkled. "Why do you ask?"

I winked at her "I was curious if I should get some you some more immuno-boosters for tonight. You know, in case you need to take your suit off for some reason."

She laid her head on my shoulder. "Hmmm, it _has_ been a few days."

I laughed, feeling free of the burden I had carried the last week as we made our intimate plans for the evening.


	22. 21: First Date

First Date

8 months to go….

Time heals all wounds, but the crew was still bearing the scars of Tuchanka. Morale was low, and everyone was starting to get on each other's nerves. Arguments were breaking out, crewmen fighting one another. Even I wasn't immune, the day after the funeral proved that.

I was back on duty in engineering, helping with monthly maintenance checks. As was my duty, I headed down to the fuel cells in sub deck, also known as Jack's room. I stopped at the foot of the steps. "Everything alright Jack?"

"What the fuck do you care?"

I blinked and stepped out and toward the darkness. A wrench whizzed by my head, causing me to stop. I doubted it could cause any damage, so this was Jack's warning. "What's up with you?"

"Oh now you pretend to care? What, you're not getting enough from the bitch in the mask?"

I growled, my fists balling up, but I kept myself in control. "How about you watch your mouth about Tali and tell me what I did to offend you?"

The biotic bitch got up off her cot, pacing and looking at me with disbelief. "Alright, how about the fact that since you've become the freak with glowing tattoos, I've had to put up with the other fuckers up there. I don't know what's worse, Ken ogling my chest, or the timid bitch who waits until she thinks I'm asleep to sneak down here."

I laughed; relieved it was something less serious. "Is that it? Shit Jack, I've been busy." Another tool shot past my head, and I was getting annoyed again?"

"The fuck you have. You've been busy getting into the quarian's pants. So don't play like you care about me."

I took an aggressive step forward. "Jack, I spent three months locked up, another week before I was allowed access to the engineering level. I went immediately to Tuchanka surface and then Thane died. And I do care about you Jack, as a friend. "

She stomped over to me, her face inches from my own. "Yeah well fuck your friendship, I don't need it." She gave me a biotic shove, slamming me into the wall, and also smashing my self control. I recovered and lunged at her, grabbing her by the throat and knocking her down onto her cot, pinning her to it. She struggled under my grip, laughing the whole time.

"Shit, Alex, get the fuck off me! If I known you'd like the kinky shit, I'd have worn the leather corset."

I looked at her, relaxing my hands. "Jack I don't know what your problem with me or Tali is. Is this because of some weird attraction to me, because I'm pretty sure you weren't all that into me before."

She rolled her eyes, no longer struggling. It's amazing how much sarcasm her small frame could hold. "Yeah, I want to fuck your brain out. Bitch, Please. You're hot when you got that glowing vein thing going on, but otherwise you are all patient and calm. It's a big turn off for me."

I let go, standing up to look down on her. "Then what the fuck are you whining about?"

She fidgeted, and the awkward, sensitive Jack came into view. She spoke quietly, so low that it couldn't drift to the bodies above us. "I get…lonely down here and it's really fucking irritating. Shepards got the reaper shit to take care of, so lately all I've had is the pervert and the that mousy girl who runs away when I get up too quick."

I folded my arms, shaking my head but grinning. "Funny way of showing you missed me."

She glared at me "Fuck you….Okay good point." She smirked and sat up. "So, you're not just down here to get in my pants?"

It was my turn to pour on the sarcasm. "Oh well if you really want, you can always join me and Tali tonight and you'll have to take a bath first." She gave me the finger and I laughed. "Oh come on, is it really so strange that I just want to be your friend?"

She leaned her head on the wall. "Before I met Shepard, I'd have probably never fucking believed it. I'm still waiting for you to want something for getting to know me and shit."

I laughed again "I do get something out of being your friend, and that's being your friend, even if it means dealing with you when you're a bitch."

She smirked and raised a fist up to me, which I pumped my knuckles to hers. "Okay, I deserve that. It's just I can usually hear what's going on above me, and all that lovey dovey crap you two do is really sickening."

I raised an eyebrow. "I haven't done anything like that."

She flopped back down on the cot, laying her hands under her head. "Yeah you do. You're more subtle about it, but it's in your voice when you ask for data on the mass effect field and shit. Tali get's on my nerves more. You know she hums to herself whenever you two have fucked?"

I shook my head, chuckling at where the conversation was heading. "Well what can I say, I'm just that good. But I can't help how we act around each other or with ourselves. You know my offer still stands. If we get on your nerves, you can always crash in my room. I still have a nice collection of booze there too, seeing how it doesn't do anything for me anymore." I went around, doing my inspection of the pipes and wiring.

"Yeah, that's gotta suck, not being able to get shit faced anymore. But I'll be fine; just don't bring it down here."

***

That had been a two weeks ago, and while Jack and I had been getting along better, I was still having problems with other crew members. Making a name for myself on Tuchanka had become a double edge sword. While it was true that I had earned some respect for not killing Wrang, some of the crew was afraid of my brutal side. Those who hadn't bothered to get to know me skirted out of my way as I walked, whispering gossip when they thought I couldn't hear. It was annoying me to the breaking point, which was why I was in the conference room right now.

"Explain yourself Alex."

I felt like I was in grade school again, looking away from the Commander's gaze "Grunt started it."

He shook his head. "You got into a fist fight with a Krogan. I don't care what he said; you should be in better control of yourself. You've been getting in shouting matches with half the crew now." Shepard sat in his chair and sighed. "The whole ship is about ready to kill each other…"

I shifted uncomfortably on the balls of my feet, feeling awkward "How's he doing?"

He looked at me with a smirk. "He's got some lumps and bruises, but he's laughing about it. He got out some of his pent up frustrations. Something I think you need to do as well. Hell, we all need it."

"Sir?

He tapped a few keys on the nearby terminal, activating the ship wide communications. "Attention all crew members, we will be arriving on the Citadel in a few hours time. We've all been under a lot of pressure, and there has been a lot of tension between crew members. So, as of midnight tonight, there will be a three day furlough, and all crew are ordered to relax." I could hear the cheering throughout the ship and muttering of how to spend their time off. Only I seemed upset by it.

"I think this is a bad idea sir. We don't have long to prepare for the Reapers, and we still haven't…"

He gestured me to stop talking. "I know Alex, but the next logical plan of action is to recruit the geth and quarians, that means we'll probably be going into the Perseus Veil. I can't have the crew at each other's throat while we try and negotiate peace with two warring races."

I opened my mouth to argue, but I didn't have an argument. I didn't want to stop the mission, but he was right. I was nodded slowly. "Does that mean you'll take some time off as well sir?"

He grinned "That it is, the Orizaba is on shore leave, and my mother has been demanding I come see her, and that I bring Ashley."

I laughed at the thought. "Meeting the family, ouch. Pretty soon we'll be making a stop at Planet Vegas and we'll have two people called Shepard on board."

He smiled "Not a bad idea, Alex, but I think that stop comes after we deal with the reapers. Now get out of here and think of something to-"

EDI interrupted him. "Commander, the Illusive Man wishes to speak with you."

I stepped back as the table retracted into the floor and a pillar of grids and light appeared on the floor. "Have fun commander, I'll just…"

"He also requests to speak with you as well Jameson."

Shit. I looked at Shepard for some sign he knew what the Head of Cerberus wanted with me. He shrugged and headed into the pillar, his eyes settling on something that I couldn't see. I sighed and walked onto the real time holographic communication display with Shepard.

Once I passed inside, it was like I was watching a 3d movie on a screen that wrapped around me. It looked almost real, even with my enhanced eyes, and I couldn't help but look around. It was the dark and barren office I'd always known, with the black polished floors and the only light coming from the glowing blue light of the dying star. A faint wisp of smoke trailed from the glowing end of a cigarette, held by the illusive man. I stared into the strange eyes of the man who led the "Humanity First" terrorist group, and he stared right back into mine.

"So, at last I meet the hero of Tuchanka, the Shadow Phoenix. That was quite a show you put on, Jameson."

I smirked, folding my arms. "Only way to get a Krogans attention, what do you want me for?" I didn't care if he knew my real name, seeing how he probably had every record of the event that has taken place since I arrived.

He put the cigarette to his lips, the ember glowing brighter as he inhaled. "I wanted to see the miracle of the protheans for myself. All the data collected by Mordin and Chakwas has left my scientists scratching their heads at your transformation."

I said nothing, watching the man carefully as he continued. "However, I am displeased that you forwarded your findings on Kepral's Syndrome to the Hanar after you sent them to the research team. We were unable to secure the patents for the cure."

I shrugged. "That was the point. I wanted it free for all Drell, and I didn't break any rules. With all the data on mining in the terminus system, can you really say I haven't contributed to the cause?"

He smiled as he smashed the butt into the ashtray. "That you have, but next time I hope you will show some more discretion with your actions and allow Cerberus to spread the wealth of knowledge to those that need it."

"If I have anymore brainstorms, I will."

"Good, speaking of the Drell, my heart goes out to you for the loss of your teammate. The loss of Thane is a loss for the galaxy. But we must move on. I'm sending the dossier of a suitable replacement. Kasumi Goto, human and an expert thief. She would have joined you during the collector mission, but we had a hard time tracking down her location. She's eager to meet you Shepard and she will be arriving to the Citadel in three days while you give your crew a much needed rest." I wondered if I sounded like this whenever I spoke about things I shouldn't know about.

The commander nodded as the projection ended. He looked over to me and nodded "I know you might not like it, but we do need a stealth specialist. I know Thane taught you a great deal, but…"

I shook my head. "Don't worry, boss man. I know I'm about as stealthy as a bull in a China shop. This isn't like mommy remarrying after daddy died. I'll be fine."

"Good" He smiled "You should head down to engineering, but seeing how her shift is over." His mouth twitched as he held back his grin, knowing that my schedule was always the same as Tali's. "You might want to decide what you are going to do with your free time. Dismissed."

I laughed and headed to the elevator, only to find my heart was already waiting inside. We embraced as the door was closed. I kissed the fabric that covered her neck, feeling her shiver at my touch. "Missed me?"

She giggled. "It's so cute how you think my world revolves around you. I just wanted to see if you needed some ice for your hand." She poked me "Fighting with grunt, honestly Alex, can't you think of a better way to let off some steam."

"I can think of one way." I winked at her. "But we'll save that for tomorrow night."

She tilted her head. "What are we doing tomorrow?"

"We've got the entire Citadel to enjoy, and you deserve a real date, not just curling up on the couch and watching vids."

"Or, I could get three days worth of antibiotics and we can lock ourselves away." He eyes twinkled mischievously and I kissed her neck again.

"Tempting, but I want to get off the ship for at least one day, and I can hardly spoil you with my ill gotten gains if I'm lustfully distracted by your beauty"

She raised an eyebrow. "Ill gotten?"

I laughed. "Oh I put a little virus into Wrang's computer, which gave me access to his personal bank accounts. I only took money from all his illegal businesses, which is to say I took every credit he had." I grinned. "I could buy a fleet with all the money he had, but I anonymously donated half the money to charity to help the victims of the reapers and the collectors. The rest was added to my own and I made sure he can never trace it. Hope you're not mad."

She touched my cheek, and I reveled in the feel of her gloved hand. "No, but remind me to never get on your bad side." She rested her head on my shoulder. "So what will we do tonight?"

I laughed "Well, I think your immune system is adapted enough to my presence that we could get away with some snuggling without your suit. Or we can just boot up the nerve stimulating programs." I laughed as she swatted me, kissing the top of her helmet.

"I prefer the first idea."

***

Tali and I set off first thing in the morning, setting out to the docking area, where things started off with a bit of hilarity as I had to register myself to Citadel security. I was able to skip this last time since Shepard was accompanying me to a Council meeting. Not that it mattered since my DNA wasn't the same as before. The alarms were going off the moment I entered the dock, but at least it cleared the line quickly so I could get signed in.

"Name?"

"Alexander Jameson"

The lady at the counter typed into the terminal without looking at me "Any alias's or nicknames?"

"Shadow Phoenix."

Her head snapped up, her eyes widening as she drank the sight of me in. I was dressed in a casual black shirt and pants, but the shoulder length snow white hair wasn't as easy to hide. I smiled sweetly as she tried to compose herself. "Um, species is easy to figure out."

"Actually I'm an Ascended."

She bugged out even more "Oh, I haven't…you look….um; okay… that explains why the scanners flagged you. I thought it was an error but….wow, never seen anything like this." I held in my laughter as she became more flustered. "o-oh, you should get that fixed with Captain Bailey, but I'll put it in…" I laughed as she finished putting me in the system and then finished registration with C-Sec. Tali was quiet until we were in the shopping district.

"Why did list yourself as a different species?" She slipped her hand into mine as we walked her eyes on me as we stopped in Cirta foundation. The flashing sign, "going out of business sale", reflected in her mask.

I smiled. "Because I am, at least scientifically I am. Ignore my past and my looks, and point out something that defines me as human?"

She had a thoughtful look, but she laughed "I was going to say your humanity."

I laughed with her. "Well if that defined me as human, I think there are a few Asari and Turians that might fit too. You see the problem then? I've been genetically altered, Tali, and I'm pretty sure it's well beyond the legal limit. Even if they accepted the truth, that it was done by a prothean machine that didn't give me a choice, I'm still going to have problems. I'm more than human now…" I leaned in, kissing her neck. "…but for you, I'm still your Alex, as long as you'll have me."

She squirmed in embarrassment. "Alex, people are staring."

I looked around at the crowd. I waved to them and grinned back at Tali "Yes they are, must be because I'm with the most beautiful woman on the citadel. I'm the envy of all the men whose girlfriends don't compare to mine. So let them watch."

She looked at me. "Girlfriend?" Her eyes smiled as she hooked my arm into her and dragged me into the store.

I looked at some of the remaining stock in the kiosk. "Well yeah, maybe it's a human thing. But we are dating, and I'd like to think things are serious between us. We both love each other, so it's either that or I call you my wife." I winked at her teasingly. "Whichever you would prefer."

"I...um…wow it's getting warm in here." I chuckled, wishing I could see her blushing face through her the lavender glass that hid her beauty from the galaxy. "I-I only meant it was, um, you know, nice. You've never called me that before."

I smiled, purchasing some antibiotics to replenish the supplies Tali and were using up. "I know, my sweet Tali. I've never had a real chance to until now." I looked through the Kiosk, purchasing some items for Mordin's lab that might prove useful for my own experiments. "It feels good to say it."

Her eyes sparkled, looking at me as she made her own purchases. "I like hearing it." She grabbed my hand. "Do you mind if I make some purchases on my own? We can meet up for lunch in at the café?"

I frowned a little. "Sure, um, can I ask why?" I felt a little hurt, wondering if I said something that offended her. It must have shown on my face.

"Relax Alex; I just want a little privacy for this. Think of it at a surprise." She winked and slipped away. "See you in an hour." I watched her leave, wondering what she had in mind and if I should be afraid. I stood there for another half minute before deciding to make my way to Rodam expeditions.

As I made my way up to level twenty eight, I could hear drunken shouting and jeering from just outside the Dark Star Lounge. Curious, I made my way over, pushing my way through the crowd until I made it to the large clearing. When I took in the scene, I tensed up, sick at the sight.

Six drunken humans had surrounded a Quarian. They were throwing empty bottles at her, hurling insults and racial slurs. No one was moving to defend her, not even the two C-Sec officers in the back of the crowd. Everyone seemed to be enjoying her humiliation, keeping her from leaving and even cheering on her persecutors.

I had seen enough, I walked to stand next to her. She flinched and ducked down, thinking I was going to attack her. Another bottle sailed into the air, and I caught it before it could strike her head. Crushing it with and tossing the shattered pieces at the feet of one of the drunks, I spoke in a firm voice. "Show's over, get the fuck out of here."

"Oh, we got a bucket head lover. Piss off! This is none of your business."

I grinned evilly. "I'm making it my business. You want to fight me? You're going to need more men." It let the energy flare up from the depths, my tattoo glowing bright enough to be seen. The effect was instantaneous, they backed up and the crowd started to scatter. "Be smart, go home."

Now the C-Sec was getting involved, but not in the way they were hired to. They made their way to me "You can't just threaten these men. They haven't broken any rules that we can see."

I growled "You want to stop me, you're welcome to try. Do your job right and I won't have to do it for you."

They puffed up, looking angry. "Maybe we should run you in for obstruction of justice."

I stepped up to him, getting close enough to smell his breath. "And maybe I'll just inform your Captain that you're drinking when you're supposed to be on duty. I work for a Spectre, so I think I have just enough sway to convince him."

He glared up at me, but the threat worked. He turned to the crowd. "You heard him, go home, nothing to see here!" The crowd dispersed, the drunks slinking away to keep from being arrested. I turned back to the Quarian and offered her my hand. "You okay? No suit breaches?"

She looked up, taking my hand nervously as I helped her up. "No, I'm fine. Thank you. This happens a lot, they usually get bored after a while." She tilted her head. "Is what you said true? You work for a Spectre?"

I nodded, shaking her hand "One hundred percent. Names Shadow Phoenix."

"_The_ Shadow Phoenix? Your part of Shepard's crew! You're all over the extranet news! Is it true you were raised by Krogan?" I laughed and she fidgeted. "Oh, I'm being rude, I am Lia'Vael Nar Ulnay"

I raised a brow, the name triggering distant memories of my old life. "Lia'Vael? You've met Shepard before, then. You're still on your Pilgrimage?"

She looked at the ground. "Yes, I came here hoping to make some credits, but I can't find work, and when I do, some of the C-Sec fine me for vagrancy. If it wasn't for the shelter I'd…" She looked away, ashamed of herself. Her voice reminded me of Tali, and my heart broke.

"Well come on, I'm having lunch with my girlfriend soon, and I don't think she'd mind if you tagged along for a better meal than…well it'll be paste still, but at least it might taste better."

She shook her head. "N-no, it's okay, I don't need…I mean, I shouldn't" She sighed. "I just don't want to cause any problems for you."

I grabbed her wrist gently. "I cause my own trouble, but I can handle this. Come on, you can't say you aren't hungry." She looked at me, nodding a little and walking with me down to level 27. Tali was sitting outside the Zakera Café, looking at the menu when we arrived. I didn't need to see her face to know she was curious.

"Hey Tali, sorry I'm late, ran into a little trouble with some drunk racists. I know it's not very romantic, but our friend here could use a nice meal after what she's been through, if that's all right."

Tali's eyes smiled at me as she offered a seat to our guest. "Its fine Alex, I hope you didn't have to hurt them too much." She turned to the other Quarian. "Tali'Zorah Vas Normandy."

Lia seemed to be having a fit. "Keelah..." She turned to me. "You didn't say your girlfriend was a quarian, and a famous one at that." She stammered her introduction and seemed to bounce in her seat. "I don't suppose the Normandy needs an extra tech specialist?"

I laughed as we ordered food and drinks, amazing the young lady again as I chose Turian dishes. She asked many questions as we ate, most involving the rumors about me. The Krogan myth seemed the sanest of the stories revolving around my origins. I answered as truthfully as I could, and claiming the rest was classified. Eventually she brought her questions around to my relationship with Tali.

"I never have known another race to be so serious about one of our kind." She ate through another tube of the nutrient paste, making me wonder when the last time she had eaten. "It must be hard for you. I mean not being able to be as intimate as you could with another species."

I shrugged "Actually my physiology makes it easier to…" I caught an elbow from the ribs from Tali, but Lia looked between the two of us in shock.

"Wait, you two have linked suit environments? Wow, I thought you said she was just your girlfriend."

I blinked, looking at Tali, who seemed to be shrinking in stature. "Um, yeah, she is." I raised an eyebrow. "I think I'm out of the loop here."

Lia looked at Tali. "You haven't told him?"

I frowned, feeling more out of place. "I know that her removing her suit is a sign of trust in quarian culture. And its shows the desire for intimacy."

Tali spoke quietly. "It's a little more than that, Alex. Linking suit environments is a sign of trust, but the intimacy is something a little more than that."

I blinked, not understanding. "I kind of understand that we're more than friends, Tali."

Lia spoke up. "It's called the rite of bonding. Physical mating with our kind is the equivalent of a marriage proposal to most species."

I felt my insides melting as I looked at Tali. She reminded me of a child who had been caught raiding the cookie jar. She looked at me a moment. "I was going to tell you before we reached the flotilla. I know it's not the same for your kind, Alex…"

I nodded to her a moment, my thoughts swirling in my head. I remained composed on the outside, speaking calmly. "It's alright Tali; we'll talk about this later." I looked at Lia. "Let's talk about you. I think I might be able to help your pilgrimage."

Both of them looked stunned at my calm statement. "Oh, you don't have to help. I should be able to do this on my own. I've got a little saved up. A few more weeks I might be able to buy some medical equipment if Cirta lets me have their sale price…"

I shook my head. "You're getting bottles and trash thrown at you. I would feel better if you weren't stuck here so long. Besides, I think I know the perfect gift to present the fleet." I stood up, paying the bill. "I'll need your help too, Tali."

I led the way down, the confused Quarians following me down a level. I stopped in front of the Used Ship Store, smiling at them. "Just play along for now." I walked in and made my way to the Volus salesman.

"Greetings earth-clan, might I interest you with a fine ship, slightly used of course."

I leaned on the counter. "Actually yes." I gestured to Tali and Lia to follow me. "I don't know much about ships, so I hired some experts. I'm looking for the best you got."

***

It ate up most of the day and all the money I had stolen from Wrang, and then some, but I had gotten a good deal on a Turian frigate class ship that was in near perfect condition. Lia`Vael thanked Tali and me as the ship was being fueled up and the ship to be renamed and registered under her name for her return to the flotilla. I had only one condition for this gift, that she didn't mention the bonding to the Migrant Fleet. She agreed and boarded the ship, and we watched her fly from the station.

The return trip to the Normandy was a quiet one. We said nothing to one another as we made our way to crew quarter's section. I went with her into the decontamination room just outside her room. I looked at her. "Okay, I'm listening."

Tali looked at the ground, knowing she couldn't escape while the environment was being sterilized. "I'm sorry Alex; I was going to tell you…"

I interrupted. "When?"

She stared at the ground. "After everything cleared up."

"Kind of a long time to tell me I'm engaged."

She sank to the ground. "I was afraid that you would have said no. You wanted to take things slow, and I didn't want to chase you off and I wasn't going to hold you to it. I-I love you Alex." The last words came out of her mouth weakly, as though it was a plea for something.

I looked away a moment, collecting my thoughts. "So anything else I should know. I imagine I will have to get Shala`Raan blessing."

She looked up at me. "What do you mean?"

I shook my head. "I mean, what I need to do. I mean, has any non-quarian ever joined the flotilla? How am I supposed to act when I ask? Will I need a suit?"

She stared at me. "You mean, your okay...you're not mad?"

I walked over, helping her to her feet. "Of course I'm mad. You lied to me about something important." I hugged her close "But I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I love you, Tali, and I can't imagine any future that doesn't involve you at my side. If you will still have me when all this is over, that is."

She held onto me tightly, crying softly. The door to her room slid open and I picked her up, carrying her inside. I set her down on the couch, removing her mask to look in her tear streaked face. I wiped the moisture from her soft cheeks, and she smiled at me. "So, what does happen now?"

I laughed, kissing her softly. "Well I _think_ I promised you that we'd remain locked up in here. We'll get to the rest eventually."


	23. 22: Limits

_Hey everyone, I'm back and feeling feisty. Thanks for all the support and ideas. I will be sure to mention the readers who were inspirations for chapter points. After getting a look into Kasumi: Stolen Memories, I now have a better idea of her personality and history, which will defiantly be a major help to this story. I also wanted to apologize for the delay; it's been a long week with a birthday and going outside and being exposed to that giant yellow thing in the sky. So without further ado…_

Limits

Tali and I spent the remaining two days locked away on a "honeymoon", as I teasingly called it. We talked a great deal about the future and made some plans, starting with writing a letter to Shala'Raan to test the waters. Today, I was working on another agreement when Shepard came calling. He had found me packing my things into a small crate, and I grinned at the questioning look on his face.

"Tali asked me to move in with her."

He smirked. "I wasn't going to ask, but I assume you're taking the necessary precautions?"

I put a bottle of Turian ale into the small crate. "We talked to Chakwas and Mordin about it, and we're taking the precautions required. Everything going in will be sterilized; any food that she can't eat will remain in here. I'll be keeping the room just in case I come into contact with something that decontamination can't kill right away. A small cache of immune-boosters are in place, not that she needs them anymore, since her immune system has been exposed to my presence for a while now."

"Well congratulations then" He patted me on the shoulder. "I didn't think you two were so serious already."

I faintly smiled as I packed up some circuit boards. "We are, but then again, I haven't heard Ashley moving around her quarters in quite some time. Should I be congratulating you two as well?"

Shepard raised an eyebrow, but his mouth twitched in half smile. "I thought you said you weren't spying into the crew's personal affairs?"

I shrugged. "I usually focus on something else, but I've decided that it doesn't hurt to pay attention to my surroundings more. It's like hearing a private conversation in the mess hall. You can tune it out, but sometimes you're curious. I promise I don't listen to anything that happens behind closed doors, unless my name is mentioned." I grinned, watching him from the corner of my eye. "By the way, is reciting Tennyson something done for my benefit, or is it just something you two always do before smooching?"

He laughed. "I guess it's an early warning system for you, but it's easier for her to speak her mind if she uses a little bit of poetry."

I nodded. "Hope she keeps it up then. So what did you want to see me for sir?"

Shepard straightened up, and the fun atmosphere dissolved as he began talking business. "We've been given instructions to meet Miss Kasumi by the advertisement holo near the warehouse on level 26. I want your ears and eyes on this mission, keep an eye out for her and any trouble."

I rubbed my hands together. "Looking forward to it sir. Expecting complications?"

He turned to my liquor cabinet, examining the contents I was leaving behind. "Not really, but when have we ever recruited someone who came along with no strings attached?" He picked up a bottle of Kentucky bourbon, a valuable find on Omega and from the year I was born.

"True enough, sir, Zaeed was the only one to come along without a gunfight, but he wanted you to help kill Vido. You can keep that, by the way. 200 year old booze would be wasted on me. You and Ash would probably appreciate the kick more than I could." I smirked. "How long do I have to prepare?"

"The meeting is taking place in two hours, I want you ready a half hour before then." I gave him a salute as he left, and then finished my packing. I brought my crates to Tali's decontamination hallway, in a special nook for radiating objects. As the germicidal gas and scanner killed all potential threats to the quarian resident, I tapped the intercom. "Hello, my sweet. Miss me?"

There was a chuckle. "You think a lot of yourself, don't you?" There was a pause. "Auntie Raan just messaged me." I swallowed nervously, her tone not giving me a lot of hope. "She wants to meet you when we reach the flotilla before she makes a decision, but she says it's probably going to take a willing captain and the full support of the Admiralty Board if you choose to petition for residency."

I sighed. "Well at least it's something. We'll make it work out." I leaned my head on the wall, feeling the slick cool metal on my neck. "And she seems open to the idea."

The door slid open a minute later, and I stepped inside, hugging Tali close. She was wearing some silk, men's style pajamas, one of the many purchases from the lingerie store she snuck to while we were on the Citadel. I looked into her glowing silver eyes and saw her concerns. I kissed her softly and carried her to the couch. "You know, Tali. I have an hour before I have to get prepared." Her eyes twinkled at my words. "No, we don't have time for that, but there is something I can do that I think you would love just as much." I laid her down, sliding down and placing her feet in my lap.

"What are you planning to do-OOH!" She groaned as I gently massaged her long feet. She seemed to melt into the couch as I worked the tension from her two long toes. I slid a hand up her loose bottoms and rubbed her calf, shivering in pleasure at my manipulations. "When did you learn _this_?"

I chuckled moving to her other leg, enjoying her squirm. "There isn't a human alive who doesn't enjoy a good massage, but we can add quarians to the list now, too."

"Keelah…"

I laughed, stopping for a moment. "If you like this, you're going to love the full treatment." She squealed in surprise as I easily flipped her over, straddling her waist and stripping her top off. She stropped struggling when my firm hands began caressing her back softly.

"Hmm, so tense, my love. This might be a little comfortable, but you'll feel so much better." I started working the knots in her back, her grunts the only sound of her discomfort. I kissed her bare shoulders as my thumbs followed the curve of her spine.

"What do you think Kasumi will be like?" She was trying to distract herself from the pain of having her muscles being relaxed by the force of my fingers.

"I don't know; this is probably the first for me, having a crewmember I don't have any clues about." She shifted uncomfortably. Thinking I might have hurt her, I asked if she was okay.

"I'm fine. It's just….you don't talk about that other life. .."

I didn't stop my work, but slowed down, unsure of how to answer. "It's not really that great, and reminding people that my world saw them as digital characters… but if you want to know something..."

She hesitated a moment, her voice quiet. "In your world, did you feel the same as you do...about me?"

I sighed. "That's hard to answer. To me, it was just a game then. I played through different scenarios, different…romances." I leaned down, whispering in her ear. "But you were the only one that could really tug at my heartstrings."

She smiled faintly. "Who?"

I shook my head, but I answered her question. "Let's see, 5 runs, There was Jack, Miranda, Stayed with Liara…" She frowned at each one of the names, but sat upright, knocking me over at the last one. "… and Garrus." I laughed at her shocked look. "Remember that Shepard could be a woman in this game."

She shook her head. "It's just so strange to think of him as a woman and with a Turian." She tilted her head at me. "Was there much difference?"

I sat up, causing her to blush and cover up as she followed my gaze. "Well this game could be seen as viewing a portion of infinite dimensions. Shepard could be a man or woman, but also he could have been the butcher of Torfan, who ruthlessly sacrificed men to gain victory, or could have been the other survivor of Akuze besides Corporal Toombs. Earth Born or survivor of Batarian slavers on Mindoir." I took her hand. "But that doesn't matter, that was just a game. This is real, _you_ are real." I kissed her lovingly. "And I wouldn't trade this for anything."

She smiled and pinned me down. I looked up at her questioning. "We have a have a half hour, Alex, and I think we have _plenty_ of time to show you how much you mean to me."

***

"You seem quite…relaxed, Jameson." Liara watched me from the corner of her eye as we traveled through the Citadel. This massive space station reminded me of an outlet mall, nothing but shops and food courts. But as we went to the lower level it looked dirtier, the inhabitants looked poorer. I felt something bump into my leg. I grabbed the small boy that seemed to be trying to slink away. I shook my head, gesturing for him to hand over something. He reluctantly returned my chit, containing the data for my personal banking accounts, and ran for it when I let him go. I placed my personal effects in a more secure compartment in my coat. I looked at Liara and smirked.

"Well Tali is good at that." The Asari blushed and I heard Shepard chuckle as we made our way to the warehouse for our rendezvous with the thief that would be joining our team. "I hope she's not too mad I didn't wake her up to say goodbye. She didn't take her meds either. Maybe Kasumi will join us right away so I can make sure she's okay."

"Hmmm, well that all depends on how well you play my game." We turned to the advertisement pillar, a hooded figure staring at us, her eyes glowing like pinpricks from the shadows and her lips curled in a smile, a short horizontal line of red lipstick and another just above her chin. "We would meet in person, but Cerberus might have hired you to track me down. I've stolen some nice tech from the Illusive Man, and one can't be too careful, and you never know who could be pretending to be the hero of the Citadel. Can I get your password?"

The Commander folded his arms. "Silence is Golden"

I snorted "But Duct Tape is silver." I caught a look from the commander and Liara, but Kasumi chuckled in response. The image flickered, but Kasumi didn't seem to notice or care. "Accepted, it's nice to finally meet you. I'm a fan of your work. Your aura is exactly what I would have expected it to be." Her eyes flickered to me and Liara. "Hmm, you brought the prothean scientist and the flavor of the month, as well. I was hoping for more. Oh well."

Liara moved forward. "You said you wanted us to play a game, what kind?"

There was a chuckle. "Well yes, you want me to help, but I haven't worked with anyone but my partner. I need to see if you are as good as the extranet claims, so I have a challenge for each of you. If you all pass, I will join your crew. Fail, and my price doubles, but since you're not fitting the bill, you can't lose by playing along."

Shepard nodded. "What are the tasks?"

"Well, for strapping man like yourself, you will be tracking down a Salarian on the Citadel. He works for Donovan Hock, and he's in need of the service of one Solomon Gunn, notorious leader of a terminus merc band. At least that's what you'll be telling him. Your asari friend will be uploading the data packet containing a fake history onto the extranet using her old informants to back up the story. Your goal is to get invited to Hock's annual party for the worst scum in the galaxy."

I smirked. "And what is the flavor of the month doing?"

She laughed. "Oh yours is a difficult task, but if you're half as good as they say you are, you'll have no trouble. All you have to do is find me. It's nothing to do with Shepard or Liara's work, but I can't help but wonder how much of the stories about you are true." She waved as the image flickered and returned to its normal functions. The three of us stared at one another before Shepard shook us out of our shock.

"You heard her, everyone split up. Alex can you trace her?"

I blinked and ran a scan on the advertisement device with my Omni-tool. "I think so; they're several locations she could have been at the time. Some are simple hacks, and others are much more complicated. But I think I know where to start. Can't say where, since I'm sure she's watching or listening." I smirked and ran off and to the taxi.

There were 5 locations that were connected to that advertisement at the time of the conversation, and bet everyone had been set up by the thief. None were easy to trace, but I was going to the simplest one that was coming from the Chora's Den. The club was shut down with its owner dead and the wards being almost completely deserted after Saren's attack on the citadel. The normal reaction would be to pick the hardest one, but this was also the most obvious. The lack of background noise made it clear that the 2 public terminals were not as likely either.

I landed just outside the run down markets; the silhouette of an asari that had once glowed in neon light was now hanging crooked on the wall of the run down street. I made my way past keepers who were repairing the area that was covered in bullet size holes and large craters where grenades had ripped through over two years ago. I smiled as I made my way inside, the door unlocked; a good sign.

Debris and dust were thick, but the floor leading to the fist's old office had a trail of footprints. I frowned, knowing that there should only be one or two about the same size. I could hear faint groaning and made my way down the hall silently. The door was open and I could see several tough looking thugs on the ground, looking battered. I walked over and leaned down to the most conscious looking one.

"What happened?"

He looked up at me with a pained expression. "Thought she was an easy mark, all alone and small like she was. But then she vanished into thin air and she started picking us off like flies."

I grabbed his collar and pulled him up, ignoring his cry of pain. "Which way did she go?"

He groaned and pointed up, my eyes following the direction. There was a massive hole, leading up and into a duct that was large enough for a person to move through. I tossed the scum on the ground, smirking as the game began. I leapt into the air and into the hole, and I was amazed at how easy that power flowed now. I closed my eyes, laying my hand on the cold steel, feeling the vibration of footsteps leading away from the area. I grinned and broke into a run, the area becoming a blur of gray metal, stopping at every fork to "listen" for her location. She was quick, but the between us was becoming smaller.

Her movements became more random, as though she knew I was closing in. She was moving through the ducts with more stealth, her movements random and doubling back at times when I thought her trapped. I moved slower and more silently, believing that she must hear my approach even from a distance, but even then it was like she could read my mind. Eventually she dropped into a crowded ward and her footsteps were drowned in the steps of a thousand others. As I fell down the same hole she had, I could only move to where I lost her footsteps.

It was an industrial factory, chuckling a little. How she knew I could hear her, I couldn't guess, but in the sound of the machinery, I could only get the faint sound of heavy breathing and no real location; a perfect strategy. But my stamina was endless, and she was wearing out. I slipped into the doors and looked around. No one was around, and I realized she had started the assembly line to give her some more time. I made my way up the stairs to the main control room, listening to everything, waiting for her to make a mistake.

It was becoming harder to track her as the minutes passed, her breathing was slowing down as she hid. Soon she would be rested enough to slip away and start the chase again, and I would truly lose her in the sound. I weighed my options carefully, knowing that simply trying to track her would waste valuable time. I could halt the machinery, but from the security lock she had added to the terminal, that would eat up valuable time, which must have been her plan from the start. I could easily smash the factory to a halt, but the noise would allow her another escape opportunity and probably get the Normandy in trouble for my very criminal acts. My best bet was to force her to make a mistake, so I spoke loudly.

"You are good; I'll give you that, so tell me, where's your partner? Did he not want to work for Cerberus or did you two have a falling out?" It was silent, so I put added more gas to the fire. "Maybe it has something to do with this Hock person. You seem very obsessed with this man, considering you both are in the same line of work."

"I am nothing like that man." I grinned, getting a small bite. "Donovan hock murdered my partner for his gray box." I followed the general direction of the voice as she continued to speak. "He discovered something very dangerous to the alliance, something that would lead to a galactic civil war. I need to get it back." Something in her voice said there was more to it, and I continued to press her.

"Sound like you want more than the information. I know a little about gray boxes, that you can store information inside them, encrypting them with…ahh, you want his memories." He heard a sharp intake of breath, and I knew I was right. "Was he special to you? Or did you just want to see whatever dirty secrets he had?"

I turned in time to see her come out of her cloak and a knife slash through the air, aimed at my throat. I stepped back, confident that she couldn't harm me but not taking the chance. I grabbed her arm and held on tight, controlling her blade and keeping her from escaping. She stared at me and pulled on my grip, testing the strength. I shook my head at her "So you loved him, well I can respect that, but we had a deal."

She glared at me, but then laughed. "Okay, you win" I held firm, and she seemed to know I didn't trust her. "I mean it, I won't run. You used my personal feelings against me; that was very clever. So let's go back to your ship."

I smirked and let her go, gesturing to the exit "After you then." I tapped my Omni-tool, open communication to Liara, not wanting to blow Shepards cover. "I got her, any word from the Commander?"

"Not yet, Jameson, I've finished uploading the documents on the extranet. I will be meeting up with him at the Dark Star."

"We'll meet you there; call if there is an emergency." I shut the connection down and walked along with Kasumi. "You are impressive, even being quiet you seemed to know exactly where I was."

She laughed and reached into my coat pocket. "Actually I did. The pick pocket left a little something inside." She grinned and pulled out a small tracking device. "I thought it was malfunctioning at first, you were moving so fast it didn't seem possible. Then I heard you banging around the-"The station shook the ground we walked on before I heard the explosion. My sensitive ears took in the screams and the familiar guttural noises.

"Husks…" My intercom beeped and the Shepard was shouting through the sounds of gunfire and screams.

"Jameson, The citadel is under attack, Liara just arrived and we need you and Kasumi up here now!" I shut off communications and grabbed the thief, tossing her onto my back. She latched on tightly as I ran at breakneck speed through the ward, fighting against the crowd that slammed against me as they fought to escape their attackers. I reached the taxi terminal and punched in the command to return to the Zakera ward when I saw the horde.

Dozens of husks were attacking anything in reach, tearing at flesh of human, Turian, and asari alike. In the back, walking through the smoke, like a demon rising from the pits of hell, was Kaidan Alenko. He looked more mechanical than I remembered from our last encounter and he stared back at into my eyes, grinning sadistically as he order more attacks on the innocent bystanders.

I opened the floodgates, my skin glowing in the blue lights as I felt the energy surge through my hands, manifesting into my energy blades. "Kasumi, get in the shuttle, help Shepard."

She climbed in "What are you going to do?" She stared at me, a look of concern as I took a step towards the horde.

"I'm going to cut off the head. Go, now!" She nodded and took off the shuttle speeding away as I charged forward, cutting down any husks in my path. The others stopped their attacks and turned to me, as though an unspoken order had commanded them to. I didn't hesitate, attacking without mercy at any of the shriveled reanimated corpses that came in range of my blades. The smell of burning ozone and flesh choked the air around me as the last of them fell at my feet. I turned to Kaidan and with a roar; I let the power burn through me, moving at inhuman speed to finish what I started on Quana.

Alenko wasn't surprised, in fact he let out a laugh and raised a hand as I prepared to strike. I was launched back; the impact of his biotic attack was more powerful than anything I had experienced. It sent me sailing through the air and slammed me into a wall, leaving a massive dent in the metal. I didn't have time to shake the cobwebs from my head before I felt something grab me and pull me with the same force, smashing me into support beam and shopping centers before I landed painfully at the Sentinel's feet. I gasped for air, feeling real pain for the first time in months.

"You should have accepted your fate and served us. You would have been the first of your kind, a powerful vanguard for the Reapers. Now you will only serve as an example of what happens to those that stand against the inevitable."

I growled and let the power consume me, letting myself fall into that feral rage that controlled me in my first battle. I raised my hand to use a biotic throw, the blue energy crackling as it impacted into Kaidan's chest, but he didn't move. He laughed and I felt myself falling up and being crushed under the mass effect field. The former member of the first Normandy looked up at me.

"I was hoping for a challenge. I've had myself upgraded just to face you again. But this is pathetic. Where's the animal I faced on Quana?!" He brought his hand down and my body followed. I felt something crack and pop inside me as the floor buckled and from the impact, but I kept going. I ripped through several more floors until I landed in something wet. I didn't know up and down, and the hot white liquid pressed on my eyes. Instinct took over and I let loose a massive biotic singularity, the sound of metal ripping apart and I felt myself slide out.

I gasped for air as I turned to the ruined protein vat. The throbbing pain in my leg told my leg was broken along with my arm and some ribs. I could hear something making its way down toward me, and I knew he was coming to finish the job. I reached for my Omni-tool, white pain blinding me as I tried to open communications. There was a crackling noise and as my vision returned, I saw a long crack in the device. I punched random buttons, trying to see if anything worked, only my emergency distress beacon turned on. I felt something land nearby and I tried to crawl away.

A metallic foot stomped my hand, crushing the bones. I screamed in pain as I was thrown around like a ragdoll, the biotic power Alenko unleashed was unlike anything I experienced. I skidded on the floor, feeling nothing but pain. Alenko picked me up and stared at me.

"You…are nothing." I gasped as a hand smashed into my side, the already broken ribs puncturing through my lungs. I was unaware of anything but pain until I heard a hiss of an airlock, then Alenko throwing me to the ground. I tried to get up, to move at all, but a crushing blow into the back, and all pain and feeling left my body. I could only hear footsteps walking away from me, unable to move. "Goodbye, Shadow Phoenix" The door slammed shut and then there was and then the airlock opened the intense cold and pressure of space enveloping me as I slipped into blackness.

***

The world was dark, but in the eternity of silence I eventually could hear Tali crying, indistinct mumbling. I was nothing more than a spirit in an endless void, slipping in and out of existence. All time was meaningless, and whether it was hours, days, or months, the sensation of feeling and pain returned to my body. While my other senses were still dead to me, the pain was welcoming. The agony that ripped through me proved I was still alive.

Slowly the pain melted away until it no longer consumed my every thought. I could feel a familiar hand in mine, and my vision was blurred, but returning. Wincing with pain and gave the hand a gentle squeeze.

"Alex?" Tali stood up and looked down at me. She then turned "Doctor Chakwas, get Commander Shepard, he's waking up!" Tali leaned down, stroking my cheek, her glowing eyes swimming with tears, her other hand never releasing her grasp. "It's okay Alex; it's going to be okay."

The muffled sounds of footsteps made my head throb and I was surrounded by crew members. Shepard swam into my focus, and I was reminded of my first encounter with him. I opened my mouth, my voice a weak rasp.

"Shepard…."

"Just relax Alex, EDI tracked down your distress beacon after the attack. We thought you were dead." Tali's body shook with silent sobs. "You were battered, broken, and completely frozen solid."

I tried to sit up, but the burning sensation in my back had other plans. I tried to relax, closing my eyes. "Well that explains the headache. How am I still alive though, Alenko shattered my spine…"

A cool hand rested on my forehead, and Chakwas calm and motherly voice echoed through the pulsing headache. "I was in charge of your…remains. Cerberus wanted your body handed over to study. I-I offered to do a post mortem. I didn't want your body treated like a piece of meat for the good of humanity. When I discovered your pulse, I put you on immediate life support. Not that you needed anything more than being fed intravenously. Your vital organs and spine were healing themselves at a fantastic rate in the last few days."

I groaned "What happened?"

The mood became so tense you could almost hold it in your hand. I looked at Shepard, pleading with my eyes. "257 people died in the Citadel attack, and there is a great deal of damage. The only good thing is that the council is finally willing to believe us about the reapers and is now building up their armada and security on the station."

I shut my eyes, my hands shaking and I felt hot tears running down my cheeks, the weight of my actions crushing my body and soul. I should have been training harder; I should have listened to Shepard. I could have led Alenko away and had additional fire power, maybe sparing some lives from suffering.

"This is my fault…."

Shepard shook his head "You made mistakes, but this is Reapers fault. You need to focus on that."

I nodded slowly, as Tali wrapped her arms around me. I winced at her embrace, but she didn't let go. "Don't you ever do anything that stupid again. Do you hear me?" She sniffed and with difficulty I lifted my arm hold her close.

"I promise, Tali. And I'm going to need your help." I turned to Shepard "I'll need everyone's help, I've put this off and hundreds of innocent people died because of it. I need to start training to fight the reapers, and understand the limits of my power."


	24. Announcement

Hey everyone, I know this isn't the update you were hoping for, but I thought I would take a moment to address everyone who's been following my story.

For me this story was about two things, the first was a practice in my own writing abilities. You can see as the story progressed that I was writing longer chapters and, hopefully, getting better at telling the story. The other reason was that I was a big Mass Effect fan and I wanted to write down a story that I could put my theories on the final chapter of the series down. I was always a fan of "Captain N" series and often would work on storylines of real world person pulled into a particular game universe. This was the first one I ever wrote down.

Now the question I've been asked is if this story is dead. Well, yes and no. I had always intended to finish the story, but the last chapter was a whim that left me in a corner. I tried writing the next chapter and always felt unsatisfied. Then there were the gobs of DLC that came out, extending the chapters of the story to include Lair of the Shadow Broker and Shepard destroying a Batarian colony. This made the fanfic run longer and duller. Even worse was when I shifted my interests to anime to inspire chapters and powers Alex would be developing. Sounds fun, but I thought a Biotic Rasengan might be pushing my luck.

Then it was the countdown for Mass Effect 3, and I still couldn't make any plots work. I did another full run of 1 and 2, but I couldn't inspire myself to find a solution that I felt didn't leave Alex in a wheelchair or an overpowered seemingly invincible character. Add into that a job transfer to a much busier location and a new girlfriend and I didn't have the time to sit down and pound out a story. I was just about to end the series

Then hope arrived on March 6.

The game inspired in ways that I couldn't imagine. I danced on plot points I had been right about, and was even surprised by things I had written that had been close to a whole new concept in the series. Suddenly the ending changed, whole new plots unfolded, and I now had the answers I needed to make the story even better.

So, my loyal fans, there will be a new chapter coming in the future. I am making a move to be closer to my girlfriend (who writes on fanfics under the name Lyeundu. She writes cute baby Naruto fanfics.) And that will mean more time to work on what I'm dubbing Book 2. I thank you all for the support you have given and I hope my new works will bring you joy. I will warn you that if you haven't played ME3 you do so before reading the new chapters, as I will be drawing on those heavily. I'm AlexMalix, and this is my favorite site on the internet.


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